Autism and Wellness Week 2: Five Ways to Improve Wellness for Autistic Adults

Promoting wellness in those diagnosed with Autism can look very similar to general wellness approaches, though at times can benefit from some modifications and insight into each individual’s needs. Recently, in their paper titled “Five Ways Providers Can Improve Mental Healthcare for Autistic Adults: A Review of Mental Healthcare Use, Barriers to Care, and Evidence-Based Recommendations“, researchers at The Ohio State University reviewed the literature from 2017 to 2022 on autistic adults’ use of mental healthcare and barriers to care and from this produced five strategies mental health providers can use to better care for autistic adults. They start by noting that while autistic adults use mental healthcare more often than non-autistic adults their experiences with mental healthcare are characterized by (1) lack of providers knowledgeable about autism, (2) use of treatments that may not be accommodating to individual needs, and (3) difficulty navigating the complex healthcare system. All of this contributes to unmet needs. You can read the full paper at https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11920-022-01362-z, and review the five recommendations offered by the authors below: 

Be an Agent of Change in the Workplace

Attending continuing education courses on autism, completing other autism-focused trainings, or self-directed study is a simple way to increase knowledge about autism and correct misconceptions and harmful stereotypes about autistic people. Trainings can help providers to understand their autistic patients’ needs and provide better care, which has been recommended by autistic adults. In particular look for trainings and materials that were created by autistic people or co-created via collaboration between autistic and non-autistic people; and select trainings/materials that emphasize neurodiversity-affirming care by promoting well-being in autistic people rather than encouraging “passing” as non-autistic at the expense of the autistic person’s health and well-being. They recommend providers look to the following sources of information to enhance their knowledge about autism: Autistic Self Advocacy Network’s resource library (https://autisticadvocacy.org/resources/), Academic Autistic Spectrum Partnership in Research and Education (AASPIRE)’s topics for healthcare providers (https://autismandhealth.org/?a=pv&p=main&theme=ltlc&size=small), Asperger/Autism Network (AANE) provider resources (https://www.aane.org/resources/professionals/).

Make Thoughtful Language Choices

The language that is used to talk about autism or to refer to autistic people is very important. How autism is discussed, especially by healthcare providers, has implications for how society views autistic people and how autistic people shape their own identity. Some language choices perpetuate the idea that autism is something to be “fixed” or that autistic people are inherently inferior to non-autistic people. The authors strongly recommend that providers use thoughtful language that does not perpetuate biases against autistic people or focus solely on perceived deficits. For example, instead of using “functioning labels” (e.g., high/low functioning, high/low severity), they recommend providers instead refer to the individual’s specific strengths and needs, while recognizing that the level of support likely varies across contexts and environments. Rather than referring broadly to “challenging behavior” or “problem behavior,” providers should use more accurate, specific terms such as meltdowns, stimming, self-injury, aggressive behavior, or other descriptors as appropriate [54••, 5663,64,65]. Additional examples of potentially problematic language choices and preferred alternatives recommended by members of the autistic community are summarized in Table 1 of [54••].

Additionally, when speaking to an autistic individual, the authors recommend providers mirror the language used by the autistic person (e.g., when deciding whether to say “adult with autism” or “autistic adult”) or ask the individual how they would like to be addressed. If this is not possible to do, we suggest using the language “adult on the autism spectrum” as this phrasing may be considered the least offensive. Providers can positively impact the way that autism is discussed in their workplace by sharing these suggestions, and the importance of language choice when speaking about autism, with colleagues.

Take an Individualized Approach for Autistic Adults’ Mental Health Treatment

Recognizing autistic adults as individuals rather than as members of a homogenous group is an important step to meeting their needs. Like with any patient, providers should aim to build a working relationship with autistic adult patients to better understand their needs. Ultimately, this may help improve mental health outcomes for autistic adults. For example, providers can take steps to accommodate an autistic adult’s sensory needs to help the individual feel as comfortable as possible and promote satisfaction with healthcare. These accommodations could be as simple as dimming the lights or using only natural light from a window, shutting a door to reduce background noise, or allowing the patient to bypass the waiting room before their appointment.

Regarding treatment and planning, the authors recommend providers collaborate with the patient to find a treatment approach and style that works well for them. Providers are also encouraged to adjust their patient schedules for autistic adults who may need more mental health session time, or increase the frequency of appointments for medication management, as autistic adults may be at increased risk for side-effects of psychotropic medications often used in mental healthcare. To modify CBT to accommodate a patient’s literal use and understanding of language, providers may increase the use of visual supports by using video models of relaxation exercises or reduce abstract language by using concrete terms to explain concepts. Developing autism-specific crisis management plans may be beneficial as well. These, and other individualized patient-centered approaches, are a solid foundation for successful mental health care for autistic adults.

Leverage Autistic Adults’ Strengths in Treatment

Another benefit of establishing a relationship with autistic adults is that providers can learn about their strengths, which can often be leveraged in treatment. For example, if an autistic adult has strengths in planning and decision-making, the provider can encourage them to develop a schedule for how they would like to spend the appointment time or prepare a list of talking points. If an autistic adult is experiencing high levels of stress or anxiety, the provider can inquire about and encourage the autistic adult’s intense interests, which may be effective coping strategies. Importantly, leveraging strengths may improve confidence, and is congruent with high-quality patient-centered care and a neurodiversity-affirming approach to care.

Provide Actionable Steps to Promote Patient Progress

Providers can facilitate autistic adults’ progress in meeting their mental health goals by providing practical recommendations and guidance for how to navigate life situations that impact their mental health. Focusing heavily on autism itself, early childhood experiences, or other topics (unless directed by the patient) may not be helpful for autistic adults in their day-to-day lives. Many autistic adults have jobs, relationships, community involvements, and many other facets to their lives, all of which may affect their mental health and may need to be points of emphasis during mental health treatment. For example, if an autistic adult is struggling with social anxiety about interactions with work colleagues, it may be more helpful to talk through recent situations and identify practical strategies for managing anxiety rather than to analyze early childhood experiences that could have originated the social anxiety. The authors encourage providers to check-in with autistic adults regularly about their experiences with treatment, listen to their feedback, and be willing to modify treatment approaches when necessary.

Autism and Wellness Week 1

As we welcome in April we look forward to longer and warmer days, the blooming of our favorite plants, and the return of baseball. Nestled in there alongside those things is Autism Acceptance Month. There has been a shift of late from Autism Awareness to Autism Acceptance, and for good reason. As one advocate, who themselves are on the spectrum, shared “Awareness is focused on shortcomings or deficits. Acceptance is focused on what you’re good at and what can you do for yourself. Awareness means you can identify a neurodiversity. Acceptance means you’re able to talk to neurodiverse individuals and gain understanding and compassion.”

So as we move into AAM we wanted to highlight the unique ways in which we can promote wellness in the Autism community, today starting with sleep. Whether you are a member of the Cooper community with an Autism diagnosis or you care for someone with Autism keep in mind that navigating life gets a bit easier when we have good sleep! So here are some thoughts on promoting sleep-related wellness across the Autism Spectrum.

Researchers have extensively researched sleep and its influence on health, behavior and other areas of life for those with Autism. Many kids, teens, and adults with autism have problems sleeping which can be hard on the them and those with whom they live. Some have trouble falling and staying asleep, or wake up too early and have a hard time getting back to sleep.

Problems sleeping happen more often in the setting of the restricted and repetitive behaviors common in ASD, as well as secondary to anxiety, or sensory problems that are often common on the spectrum. Watching TV, videos, or playing on the computer, especially if the shows are very stimulating (highly humorous, intentionally frightening) can lead anyone, especially those living with ASD, to having more trouble sleeping. Fixing this usually starts with gathering data and trying some of the most common solutions related to the problem, whether you are experiencing this yourself or trying to help a loved one.

Sleep Resources

ATN/AIR-P Strategies to Improve Sleep in Children with Autism Parent Booklet and Quick Tips
This informational booklet is designed to provide parents with strategies to improve sleep in their child affected by autism spectrum disorders (ASD). The suggestions in this tool kit are based on both research and clinical experience of sleep experts.

ATN/AIR-P Sleep Strategies for Teens with Autism
Many teens with autism have difficulty with sleep, which can affect their daytime functioning, as well as that of their families. This tool kit is designed to provide parents with strategies to improve sleep in their teens affected by autism. It helps tackle the problems of falling asleep and staying asleep through the night. 

ATN/AIR-P Melatonin and Sleep Problems: A Guide for Parents
Melatonin is a common medicine your doctor or healthcare provider may suggest to help improve sleep. This tool kit is designed to provide you with information about melatonin and help you decide if trying melatonin is right for you child.

Download a one-page overview on sleep for quick tips you can use at home.

Establishing Good Sleep Hygiene

Carin Lamm, MD is Associate Clinical Professor of Pediatrics Diplomate American Academy of Sleep Medicine and Director Pediatric Sleep Disorders Center Columbia University Medical Center and shares the below regarding sleep and Autism:

  1. Sleep environment: the bedroom should be dark, quiet and cool. As those with ASD might be particularly sensitive to noises and/or have sensory issues, the environment should be adapted to make sure one is as comfortable as possible.
  2. Bedtime routine: the routine should be predictable, relatively short (20 – 30 minutes) and include relaxing activities such as reading or listening to quiet music. Avoid the use of electronics close to bedtime such as TV, computer, video games etc. that can be stimulating making it difficult for individuals to fall asleep.
  3. Sleep\wake schedule: the schedule should be regular with not much of a difference between the weekday and weekend schedule.
  4. Exercise: Daytime exercise can make it easier to fall asleep and those who exercise tend to have deeper sleep. Avoid exercising too close to bedtime as it can make it difficult to fall asleep.
  5. Avoid caffeine particularly close to bedtime, which can be alerting making it difficult for people to fall asleep. Caffeine is found not only in coffee, but also in tea, chocolate and some sodas.
  6. Naps – avoid them at all costs! While a good nap can be needed from time to time, over-reliance on this can perpetuate sleep problems.

It is important to address medical or psychiatric issues that potentially interfere with sleep. Medications might need adjustment if they affect sleep. If one suffers from a sleep disorder such as sleep apnea, sleep walking, sleep terrors, restless legs syndrome, they may need a referral to a sleep specialist. Some with persistent insomnia will need further behavioral or pharmacological treatment to improve their sleep.

In summary, although sleep problems are common those with ASD they often can be helped. Better sleep for these children can potentially improve their daytime functioning as well as the sleep of family members.

Growth, One Small Step at a Time

Hard to believe, but March has flown by and we are ready to welcome April and the renewal that comes with Spring! If you are looking for some help shaking off the last remaining blues that may have come with a long, dreary winter consider checking out calm.com’s April Calm Calendar. As they share on their site, “The Calm Calendar is an invitation to meet your life with presence and curiosity. Our daily prompts serve as encouragement to learn more about yourself and the world through the lens of mental health, mindfulness, and wellbeing. It’s not about getting it right, but rather checking in with yourself, deepening your awareness and supporting yourself through each step of your journey.”

Remember, growth comes one small step at a time. Ready for the first step, download the calendar below or at calm.com!

10 pieces of well-worn life advice you may need to hear right now

Recently, Becky Harlan, Sylvie Douglis, and Andee Tagle published a piece on “Life Kit”, NPR’s advice column where experts answer your most pressing and personal anonymous questions. The authors provided 10 indispensable pieces of advice to help shape habits that can directly contribute to improved wellness. These tips are offered below, and the full article can be read at https://www.npr.org/2023/02/19/1157287474/best-life-advice-tips

  1. ‘There’s more than one way to do something’ – I remember scrubbing a pan when I was maybe 8 or 9 years old. There was something stuck on the pan that wouldn’t come off, and I just kept scrubbing it. My dad stopped me, grabbed a fork and just scraped it off. And he looked at me and said, “Jody, there’s more than one way to do something.” From that moment on, I’ve been looking at every problem in my life like how can I do this a different way? — Jody Adewale, clinical psychologist Sponsor Message
  2. ‘The hate will come at the same rate as the love’ – The best advice I ever received was that the hate will come at the same rate as the love. There will always be people who are so dissatisfied with themselves that they have to project that onto other people. And instead of trying to focus on the negativity, I tend to try to put more energy into the people and the things that are showing me love, support and good energy. — Kiaundra Jackson, marriage and family therapist A behavioral scientist’s advice for changing your life LIFE KIT A behavioral scientist’s advice for changing your life
  3. ‘Do smaller loads of laundry’ – I used to work at a small grocery store, and before moving away to college, I asked the store manager, “What’s the No. 1 thing that I need to know about going away to college?” And he said, “Do smaller loads of laundry. Your clothes will come out cleaner.” — Shaun Galanos, a relationship coach and host of The Love Drive podcast
  4. ‘Being vulnerable means taking off our armor’ – I was talking with my therapist about how I didn’t mind being vulnerable as long as I knew the other person would be warm, that they wouldn’t judge and all of that. And she said, “that’s not vulnerable. Being vulnerable means taking off our armor and going in not knowing how we’ll be received, but putting ourselves out there a little bit anyway.” — Tania Israel, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara Sponsor Message
  5. ‘Go where the energy goes’ – The best piece of advice I ever received was “Go where the energy goes.” What has good vibes? What makes you feel good about yourself? Where is that good energy? Head in that direction. — Betty Who, pop star and the host of the reality dating series, “The One That Got Away” Need A Career Change? Here’s The Best Job Advice We’ve Heard On Life Kit LIFE KIT Need A Career Change? Here’s The Best Job Advice We’ve Heard On Life Kit
  6. ‘It’s not all about you’ – The best piece of advice I was given was, “Shanita, it’s not all about you.” When I’m in a situation where a tough decision has to be made and it feels personal, I remind myself it’s not all about me, and that I’m one piece of a bigger universe that’s at play right now. — Shanita Williams, career coach and the author of Feedback Mentality
  7. Expect yourself to change – We all change every five years or so. More or less, we have to expect ourselves to change, and we have to expect people in our lives to change. That little piece of advice has given me a lot of space for room and for growth. — Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, a financial therapist and host of the Mind Money Balance podcast Dear Life Kit: My husband is living under COVID lockdown. I’m ready to move on DEAR LIFE KIT Dear Life Kit: My husband is living under COVID lockdown. I’m ready to move on
  8. ‘When people show you who they are, believe them’ – When people show you who they are, believe them. Far too often, I have seen us try to recreate who we want people to be, only to later find out they are exactly what they’ve been demonstrating. — Nedra Glover Tawwab, licensed therapist and the author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace
  9. Pace out your self-improvement – Don’t be so overly involved with your self-improvement. Accept the gifts and abilities that you have, and don’t spend so much time trying to develop new ones that you sacrifice your gifts. Be yourself. — David Defoe, a psychotherapist who specializes in depression, anxiety and grief
  10. It’s OK to say ‘I don’t know’ Something – I’ve benefited a lot from is telling yourself, “I don’t know. And that’s exactly where I should be when I take that first step.” I’m as ready as I ever will be. I’m going to do it, and I’ll know more after. — Becky Kennedy, clinical psychologist and author of Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

Why Doctors Should Care About Happiness

Dr. Sarah Pressman is an award winning Assistant Professor of Psychology and Social Behavior in the School of Social Ecology at the University of California, Irvine. Dr. Pressman’s work seeks to understand how positive emotions are beneficial for objective physical health and longevity. In her 2015 TED Talk, Dr. Pressman shares research from her lab about why doctors should care about happiness in their patients.

International Women’s Day: How And Why Women Can And Should Prioritize Their Wellness

Recently, Rittu Sinha at Forbes penned an article that contrasts the difference between what we saw as a culture about women and wellness, and the types of attitudes we foster about this topic. She shared that “As the World Health Organization reminds us, “The health, well-being and needs of half the world’s population cannot be treated as an afterthought.” However, for most of my own life, I never took the time to figure out how feminism actually sat with me. It was only in the last decade I that came to the realization that although I am not inclined toward “femininity,” I am a feminist (these questionnaires helped me clarify my thinking). Where does feminism intersect with women’s health? In short, in every area—physical, mental, emotional, environmental, existential and spiritual, which are all places I champion. Many women even today put their health on a back burner for years of their life. When we’re in this space, we consider our own needs to be less important than those of others (spouses, partners, kids, parents).”

Read Rittu’s full article on the hows and whys of fixing inequities that limit women’s wellness at https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2022/10/25/how-and-why-women-can-and-should-prioritize-their-wellness/ 

Kindness in Six Acts

Need help getting your random acts going? Here are six ideas to get your imagination going!

Bring treats to work

Next time you’re on the way to work, grab your coworkers some coffee or pastries. 

Show local businesses some love

It’s no secret that we love our local businesses. Next time you stop by your go-to spots, tip generously or write a positive review. You can also combine this and the previous, get you coffee and donuts from a local shop!

Plant native species

Add some green to your community by planting native species. Use the National Wildlife Federation’s Native Plant Finder to start your search.

Help our furry friends

Consider fostering or adopting a furry friend in need of a home, or volunteer at a local shelter, details available through Camden County. You can also donate monetarily or drop off blankets, toys, food, and supplies.

Volunteer with local organizations

Check out some local volunteer opportunities through Camden County at Volunteer Match.

Gift something just because

Whether it’s to recognize a teacher or just surprise someone special in your life, we suggest some gifts from local shops. Check out this directory here.

The Unexpected Power of Random Acts of Kindness

Feel free to read the full article at https://www.nytimes.com/2022/09/02/well/family/random-acts-of-kindness.html

New research shows small gestures matter even more than we may think.

In late August, Erin Alexander, 57, sat in the parking lot of a Target store in Fairfield, Calif., and wept. Her sister-in-law had recently died, and Ms. Alexander was having a hard day.

A barista working at the Starbucks inside the Target was too. The espresso machine had broken down and she was clearly stressed. Ms. Alexander — who’d stopped crying and gone inside for some caffeine — smiled, ordered an iced green tea, and told her to hang in there. After picking up her order, she noticed a message on the cup: “Erin,” the barista had scrawled next to a heart, “your soul is golden.”

“I’m not sure I even necessarily know what ‘your soul is golden’ means,” said Ms. Alexander, who laughed and cried while recalling the incident.

But the warmth of that small and unexpected gesture, from a stranger who had no inkling of what she was going through, moved her deeply.

“Of course, I was still really sad,” Ms. Alexander said. “But that little thing made the rest of my day.”

New findings, published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology in August, corroborate just how powerful experiences like Ms. Alexander’s can be. Researchers found that people who perform a random act of kindness tend to underestimate how much the recipient will appreciate it. And they believe that miscalculation could hold many of us back from doing nice things for others more often.

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“We have this negativity bias when it comes to social connection. We just don’t think the positive impact of our behaviors is as positive as it is,” said Marisa Franco, a psychologist and author of “Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends,” who did not work on the recent research.

“With a study like this, I hope it will inspire more people to actually commit random acts of kindness,” she said.

Underestimating the power of small gestures

The recent study comprised eight small experiments that varied in design and participants. In one, for example, graduate students were asked to perform thoughtful acts of their own choosing, like giving a classmate a ride home from campus, baking cookies or buying someone a cup of coffee.

In another, researchers recruited 84 participants on two cold weekends at the ice skating rink at Maggie Daley Park in Chicago. They were given a hot chocolate from the snack kiosk and were told they could keep it or give it to a stranger as a deliberate act of kindness. The 75 participants who gave away their hot chocolate were asked to guess how “big” the act of kindness would feel to the recipient on a scale from 0 (very small) to 10 (very large), and to predict how the recipient would rate their mood (ranging from much more negative than normal to much more positive than normal) upon receiving the drink. The recipients were then asked to report how they actually felt using the same scales.

In that experiment — and across all others — the people doing the kind thing consistently underestimated how much it was actually appreciated, said one of the study’s authors, Amit Kumar, an assistant professor of marketing and psychology at the University of Texas, Austin.

“We believe these miscalibrated expectations matter for behavior,” he said. “Not knowing one’s positive impact can stand in the way of people engaging in these sorts of acts of kindness in daily life.”

Another experiment in the study was devised to help researchers better understand this tendency to underestimate the power of our own kind acts. In it, Dr. Kumar and his team recruited 200 participants in Maggie Daley Park. A control group of 50 participants received a cupcake simply for participating in the study and rated their mood. Another 50 people who did not receive a cupcake rated how they thought the receivers would feel after getting a cupcake.

A third group of 50 people were told they could give a cupcake away to strangers, and were asked to rate their own mood as well as how they believed the recipients would feel. Once again, the researchers found that those who got a cupcake as a result of a random act of kindness felt better than the person on the giving end thought they would.

Also, people who got a cupcake because of an act of kindness rated themselves higher on a happiness scale than those who got one simply for participating in the study, suggesting they got an emotional boost from the gesture, in addition to the cupcake itself.

“People tend to think that what they are giving is kind of little, maybe it’s relatively inconsequential,” Dr. Kumar said. “But recipients are less likely to think along those lines. They consider the gesture to be significantly more meaningful because they are also thinking about the fact that someone did something nice for them.”

How to show others you care

The notion that kindness can boost well-being is hardly new. Studies have shown that prosocial behavior — basically, voluntarily helping others — can help lower people’s daily stress levels, and that simple acts of connection, like texting a friend, mean more than many of us realize. But researchers who study kindness and friendship say they hope the new findings strengthen the scientific case for making these types of gestures more often.

“I have found that kindness can be a really hard sell,” said Tara Cousineau, a clinical psychologist, meditation teacher and author of “The Kindness Cure: How The Science of Compassion Can Heal Your Heart and Your World.” “People desire kindness yet often feel inconvenienced by the thought of being kind.”

Stress can also keep people from being kind to others, she said, as can the “little judgy voice” in people’s heads that causes them to question whether their gesture or gift will be misinterpreted, or whether it will make the recipient feel pressured to pay it back.

“When the kindness impulse arises,” Dr. Cousineau said, “we totally overthink it.”

But an act of kindness is unlikely to backfire, she said, and in some instances it can beget even more kindness. Jennifer Oldham, 36, who lost her 9-year-old daughter, Hallie, in July after a tree fell on the car she was in during a storm, recently created a Facebook group — Keeping Kindness for Hallie — that encourages participants to engage in random acts of kindness. People have bought groceries and baby formula for others in Hallie’s honor. They’ve donated school supplies and given hydrangeas to strangers.

“No small act goes unnoticed,” Ms. Oldham said. “It will help your own heart, maybe even more than the recipients.”

Sometimes, it is something much sillier. When Kimberly Britt, president of Phoenix College in Arizona, left for a week of vacation in July, her vice president of student affairs hid 60 rubber chickens in her office.

“She did it so I wouldn’t find them all immediately, and it did take me a while,” she said. “But it was meant to bring a smile to my day when I returned.”

It did, and has since inspired Dr. Britt to begin a random acts of kindness challenge on campus. They have recorded 200 acts of kindness so far: a teacher who went above and beyond to spend time with a student who was struggling emotionally, a staff member who brought food to the office, another who made coffee for all of their colleagues.

If you are not already in the habit of performing random kind acts — or if it does not come naturally to you — Dr. Franco said to start by thinking about what you like to do.

“It’s not about you being like, ‘Oh man, now I have to learn how to bake cookies in order to be nice,’” she said. “It’s about: What skills and talents do you already have? And how can you turn that into an offering for other people?”

Random Acts of Kindness Month: The Health Benefits of Kindness

Since 1949, the Mental Health Foundation has been the UK’s leading charity for everyone’s mental health. They take a public mental health approach to prevention, finding solutions for individuals, those at risk and for society, in order to improve everyone’s mental wellbeing. It is not surprising, then, that they have a thing or two to say about the benefits of kindness, and so we start Random Acts of Kindness Month by looking at their review of the health benefits of kindness. You can learn more at https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/about-us

The health benefits of kindness

  • Helping others feels good – Research shows that acts of kindness are linked to increased feelings of well-being.  Helping others can also improve our support networks and encourage us to be more active.  This, in turn, can improve our self-esteem.  There is some evidence to suggest that when we help others, it can promote changes in the brain that are linked with happiness.
  • It creates a sense of belonging and reduces isolation – Helping others is thought to be one of the ways that people create, maintain, and strengthen their social connections. For example, volunteering and helping others can help us feel a sense of belonging, make new friends, and connect with our communities.
  • It helps to keep things in perspective – Many of us don’t realize the effect a different perspective can have on our outlook on life. There is some evidence that being aware of our own acts of kindness, as well as the things we are grateful for, can increase feelings of happiness, optimism and satisfaction. Doing good may also help us to have a more positive outlook on our own circumstances.
  • It’s contagious – Acts of kindness can make the world a happier place for everyone. They can boost feelings of confidence, being in control, happiness and optimism. They may also encourage others to repeat the good deeds they’ve experienced themselves – contributing to a more positive community. 
  • Helping others helps you – The benefits of helping others can last long after the act itself, for those who offer kindness, and those who benefit. This, in turn, can improve our self-esteem.

3 Ways to Refill Your Empty Cup

Harvard researchers recently published findings that suggest nurturing yourself in small ways can help ease burnout and exhaustion.

It’s hard to care about anything when you feel exhausted, burned out, or ragged around the edges. Your once-fiery enthusiasm may seem more like charred rubble due to overwhelming family responsibilities, a job that drains you, or financial struggles. Or maybe an illness, the uncertainty and disruptions of the age we live in, or a combination of factors has left you feeling as if you have precious little to give.

“What you’re experiencing is burnout. It’s real and it can lead to depression, anxiety, relationship damage, and an inability to function at home or at work,” says Dr. Marni Chanoff, an integrative psychiatrist with Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital.

Take heart: With time and effort, you can refill your cup, slowly adding back a bit of the energy and joie de vivre you’ve been missing. Here are three ways to start.

1. Carve out time for yourself

Taking time for yourself isn’t a luxury; it’s essential to self-care. “You need to slow down and give yourself the opportunity to rest and rejuvenate,” Dr. Chanoff says, “Schedule it if you have to, starting with 10 or 15 minutes, a couple of times a day.”

How can you reclaim precious minutes in an overly full schedule? “Look at your day, week, or month, and be discerning about how many things you say ‘yes’ to in one period of time. Give yourself permission to say ‘no thank you’ to things that deplete you or don’t serve you,” Dr. Chanoff says.

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Make small moments count: choose what makes you feel at peace. For example, have a cup of tea, or simply lay a blanket or mat on the floor at home or work and lie on your back. Don’t look at your phone or email. “You want to tell your body to take a break. It helps you reset and back away when stress draws you in,” Dr. Chanoff explains.

2. Commit to better health

A strong body helps balance the stressful situations that have caused your burnout. The basic recipe for good health includes:

  • Exercise. Moderate intensity exercise, the kind that works the heart and lungs, releases important chemicals that help regulate mood, sleep, and many body systems. Aim for at least 150 minutes of exercise per week, which amounts to about 22 minutes a day. Start with just a few minutes a day if it’s all you can do. It doesn’t have to be fancy. “It can be any movement that brings you joy, like dancing, yoga, or brisk walking,” Dr. Chanoff suggests.
  • A good diet. Eating lots of junk food (typically full of sugar, salt, and unhealthy saturated fat) fuels chronic stress, fatigue, depression, and anxiety. Choose more unprocessed foods such as vegetables, fruits, whole grains, legumes, lean proteins (fish or poultry), and unsaturated fats (such as avocados or olive oil). If time is an issue, Chanoff suggests batch-cooking simple, healthy foods you can have several days of the week. (Lentil or bean soup is a good one-pot meal. Throw in as many vegetables as you can.)
  • Sleep. Insufficient sleep affects overall health, concentration, and mood. Try to sleep seven to nine hours per night. “It helps to wind down an hour or two before you fall asleep. And practice good sleep hygiene: turn off your phone, keep your room cool and dark, and go to sleep and wake up at the same time each day,” Dr. Chanoff advises.

3. Surround yourself with comfort

Hygge (pronounced HOO-ga) is the Danish concept of cozy comfort that brings happiness and contentment. Folks in Denmark know a thing or two about finding sunshine in cold dark months.

To practice hygge, surround yourself with people, activities, and things that make you feel cozy, loved, happy, or content. Go simple: spend time with your favorite people, add a small vase of flowers to your space, don fuzzy slippers once home, eat a treasured comfort food, or listen to a favorite song.

More ideas to try:

  • Light a candle.
  • Get under a heated blanket.
  • Frame a photo of a happy time.
  • Have breakfast in bed.
  • Use pretty table linens.
  • Indulge in art (check out various works at museums online).
  • Stand still outside to listen to the sounds of nature.
  • Curl up in a cozy chair.
  • Window-shop in your favorite store.
  • Wear a soft sweater that feels good on your skin.
  • Use a silk or satin pillowcase on your bed pillow.
  • Take a warm bath.
  • Get an oil diffuser with a scent that reminds you of a place you love, like the beach or a pine forest.