Welcome to the first part of a series of occasional posts meant to help us think about some of the most common areas humans value through the lens of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Today we will be focusing on the ACT value area of Partnership. No matter which of the 35 or more terms that you use to describe your most intimate relationship types and dynamics, it is worth asking ourselves some important questions from time to time to assess the status of those relationships and, if they need a tune-up, how.

ACT starts by asking some foundational questions. Setting aside the most fundamental question of what kind of partner you want, one might ask themselves “what kind of partner do you want to be?” You might also ask what are the qualities that would describe a relationship you want to be a part of.

To that end, Catherine Pearson at the New York Times recently interviewed therapists and relationship researchers who shared 6 additional questions that can bring couples closer after the relationship has been up and running for a while. You can read the full article at https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/10/well/family/marriage-midlife-counseling.html, the questions are summarized below.

1. What is our next chapter? Orna Guralnik, a Manhattan-based clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst who stars in the Showtime documentary series “Couples Therapy,” encourages her clients to consider their plans for the third chapter of their relationships (when the marriage is neither fresh and new, nor consumed by domestic demands). It’s a conversation she sees many couples having organically, particularly those in their 50s and 60s whose children have left home. “Where are they going to turn that attention?” she often asks. “And how is that going to inflect the couple?” Galena Rhoades, a psychologist and research professor at the University of Denver, has advised clients to ask one another: “What are our big hopes and dreams?”
2. What are we modeling for our children or other couples? What do we want others to learn from our relationship? How might that shape their own relationships? For instance, maybe you want to make it clear that relationships take work, Dr. Rhoades said, so you talk to your children about how you handle conflict. Perhaps it’s emphasizing the importance of date nights and prioritizing coupledom.
3. How do I contribute to any problems we have or are currently facing? This kind of self-reflection is easier said than done, admitted Adam R. Fisher, a psychologist and sex therapist based in Salt Lake City. But by midlife, most of us have learned something about ourselves and our relationships. Dr. Fisher said that taking time to reflect on the type of partner they want to be — regardless of what their partner does or doesn’t do — ultimately gives his clients a greater sense of agency within their relationships.
4. What skills have we developed? By the time couples reach middle age, many have fallen into decades-long communication patterns, some better than others, said Jeffrey Chernin, a marriage and family therapist based in Los Angeles and the author of “Achieving Intimacy.” So he often encourages partners to think about the positive communication skills they have developed. “You want to fortify those,” he said. Advertisement SKIP ADVERTISEMENT Maybe you’re both good at listening without interrupting, for example. Maybe you are pros at apologizing. Simply acknowledging some of those strengths can be a useful bonding exercise, Mr. Chernin said. “Let’s strengthen what’s going well,” he said, “not just address what needs to be improved.
5. Is this relationship worth it? With experience, most people come to understand that no one gets everything they want from one person, said Terrence Real, a family therapist and author of “Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.” Which is why middle age can be a good time to have what he calls a “relational reckoning.” “A relational reckoning is a question,” he explained, “and the question is: Am I getting enough in this relationship to make grieving what I don’t get OK with me?”
6. Should we get outside help? It is important to approach the questions above with a sense of curiosity and openness, said Tiana Frazier, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Texas. Try to stay present and avoid becoming defensive, she said, and “if the conversation becomes overwhelming, it’s OK to take a break.” Couples who are contemplating whether they want to stay together — or perhaps to radically change the structure of their relationship — may want to engage professional help. Discernment counseling is an option for couples who are pondering big changes, Ms. Hershman said. Depending on your circumstances, you might consider a specific form of counseling, like sex therapy, or individual therapy if your partner is reluctant to join you.

“Hidden Brain” is a podcast that explores the unconscious patterns that drive human behavior and questions that lie at the heart of our complex and changing world. Hosted by Shankar Vedantam, NPR’s social science correspondent, former reporter and columnist at The Washington Post, and columnist, and wrote the Department of Human Behavior column for the Post, and fellow at the Nieman Foundation for Journalism at Harvard University, the series transforms what are sometimes dry, academic research topics into compelling stories that offer a total and complete escape.

Recently, Vedantam explored a topic the hits close to home for many of us: time as a limited resource. As Shankar puts it: “many of us feel like there aren’t enough hours in the day. We struggle to make time for all the competing demands at work and at home, and inevitably feel like we’re letting someone down. But what if there were a way to reclaim our time and, as a result, get more joy out of our lives? This week, psychologist Cassie Mogilner Holmes explains how we’ve fallen victim to the illusion of time scarcity, and what we can do to spend our time more wisely.”

If this is something you can identify with be sure to listen to the full episode at https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/taking-control-of-your-time/.

Marielle Segarra hosts the show Life Kit on NPR and Philadelphia native, recently revisited the topic of forest bathing. For those unfamiliar with this, it is the act of spending time in the forest in what the Japanese call shinrin-yoku, a term originating in the 1980s that means “bathing in the forest atmosphere.” Qing Li, a researcher on this topic and a professor at Nippon Medical School in Tokyo, says that “This is not exercise or hiking or jogging, it is simply being in nature, connecting with it through our sense of sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch.”

Not only is “forest bathing” a magical way to explore nature, decades of research has shown that it’s good for your health. It can boost your immune system, lower blood pressure and help with depression. It can also reduce the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline and turn down the dial on your body’s fight-or-flight response.

You can read Segarra’s full piece at https://www.npr.org/2023/08/22/1195337204/a-guide-to-forest-bathing, and a starters guided is offered below.

1. Find a location where you’re surrounded by trees – The ideal place to forest bathe is well, in a forest. But if you live far away from one or don’t have the means to get there, any place that has a lot of trees and quiet spaces will do.

2. Set aside a good chunk of time – To reap the ultimate rewards of shinrin-yoku, plan to spend two to six hours in the woods, says Li. A 2019 study published in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health found that walking just 15 minutes through the woods can help relieve stress and anxiety.

3. Aim to reduce heart rate – Your forest bathing session is a good time to sit or walk or do some gentle yoga or tai chi. It’s not the time to squeeze in your hardcore cardio for the week.

4. Breathe in the scents of the forest – Many of the benefits of shinrin-yoku come when we inhale the chemicals that trees release into the air, called phytoncides, says Li. They can reduce our stress hormones and increase our levels of white-blood cells known as natural killer cells, according to his research. In one study from 2009, his team ordered special concentrated essential oils made from Japanese cypress trees and then pumped them into the hotel rooms of test subjects using a diffuser. The people staying in those rooms saw about 40 to 50% of the health benefits as those who did a forest bathing session.

5. Bolster your forest bath with meditation – When you get to the forest or the park, walk a little bit and then find a spot that speaks to you. Now sit down, says Evans, and try this exercise. “Inhale for a count of one, two and then exhale for double the length of time, so it’s one, two, three, four. Then keep that going.” “When the exhale is slower than the inhale, it sends a physiological message to your body that says: ‘I’m safe. I can relax. It’s OK,’ ” he adds.

Vacations often find ourselves behaving the way we would want to behave everyday were it not for our mountains of responsibilities and the toll they take. We slow day, have more in-depth conversations with loved ones, move more, eat better, and engage in activities that bring us joy. And there is research suggesting connections between vacations and lower stress, a healthier heart rate and increased creativity, the benefits of which can last for weeks after the vacation is over!

But how do we keep the good vibes going? Dr. Sarah Pressman, a professor of psychological science at the University of California, has a few suggestions:

Do a “mini version” of your favorite thing: The first step, Dr. Pressman said, is to reflect on your vacation: What did you love doing the most? Was it family dinners with great conversations? Was it daily naps? Then, she said, “try to find a mini version of that.” If you loved biking on vacation, she said, start with a weekly bike ride.

Get outside: Some people spend more time outdoors on their vacations, and the research is robust that green spaces provide health benefits galore. If you miss being outside, aim for “snackable bits of nature” near your home, e.g go to a park for a few minutes or hang a bird feeder just outside your door.

Engage your senses: If certain scents, tastes or sounds lifted your spirits on vacation, try to replicate them at home. Cook a meal that you loved on vacation or play some local music that you heard.

Display a memento: Don’t discount the value of souvenirs. They can have a lasting effect on our happiness. In fact, research has found that items with high sentimental value can bring us sustained happiness.

The folks over at Calm recently wrote a post discussing how to spot the signs of a bad mental health day and what to do about.

“Feeling down is the mental health version of having a cold,” they say.

“We all get a cold (mental or physical) sometimes. It could be more serious (depression or flu) but it’s still a bummer. And most of us try to force
ourselves to push through it.

Some of the symptoms of a mental health cold include:

• Wanting to stay in bed more than usual
• Small tasks feel overwhelming
• General mood is “ugh”
• You can’t imagine feeling better

So the next time you feel down,
take care of yourself like you’d nurse a cold:

• Rest & hydrate.
• Listen to your body’s needs.
• Let your heavy feelings flow through (and eventually) out of you.”

Need something to get you started getting unstuck? Check out the RAIN Mindfulness Practice.

Kweku Smith, PhD, is a former Milwaukee Bucks team psychologist and is now experiencing his first Olympics and Paralympics as a Team USA mental health care provider. While he and his colleagues are on call 24/7 throughout the Games for crises big and small, Smith encourages his patient athletes to check in for well visits when their mental health is in a good place. He recommends the general public take charge of their mental well-being the same way.

“I tell people, seek out services before you need it. That way, you have a person who can get a baseline on what’s average for you,” Smith says. “If they see things slowly deteriorating, they can pull a mirror to you to say, hey, let’s try these things. Or, unfortunately, if a trauma or tragedy happens, you have a professional as a part of your team who can be there.”

Smith adds, “Look at mental health just as you do your physical health—as we get a yearly physical, as we go to the eye doctor, as we go to the dentist on a regular basis. We don’t go every day. Sometimes you go on an as-needed basis until something happens, and then maybe you do a few more.”

Read more about Smith, his contributions to Team USA, and discover more tips to take care of your mental health at https://fortune.com/well/article/mental-health-wellness-paris-2024-olympics/

Some days it may feel like literally every area of our life is faltering. There is too much work, we are fighting with our partners, we can’t lose those last 5 pounds, and the current geopolitical situation is…bad. And through this many folks might encourage is to simply shift our focus to more pleasant things, but what if it is OK to not be happy and optimistic sometimes?

Recently the content curators at Mellowed published an article entitled “It’s Ok Not To Be Happy… Sometimes” that examines why uncomfortable emotions like sadness and anxiety can sometimes hit is out of the blue and stick around longer than we would like, and also what we can do about it. In addition to their recommendations, today might be a good day to review our archived piece “Mindfulness for Difficult Emotions.”

The list of things we dread is almost endless: the Sunday scaries, climate change, deadlines, the holidays, simple errands, you name it.

So how can we feel better when we’re expecting the worst? We’ve been exploring this theme in a miniseries in Season 2 of More Than a Feeling, a podcast on emotions from the meditation and mindfulness platform Ten Percent Happier. And we’ve learned that dread isn’t all that bad.

It turns out there are some benefits in starting an open conversation about the things that worry us. “The purpose of dread is to help prepare you,” says psychologist Ali Mattu. “It’s to help you think about what might happen. It’s to help you take actions that you can right now.”

We talked to researchers, art therapists and death doulas to find out how to dread better.

1. Rewrite your dread

We often struggle to talk about dread because it can feel so heavy. Poet and clinical psychologist Hala Alyan has a suggestion: Write down the things you’re concerned about.

Exercise: She shares a journal prompt to help you emotionally distance yourself from your dread: “Write yourself a letter from your Dread’s point of view. The letter should answer the following questions: What are you hoping to achieve? How do you think it’s going? What is your intention?”

2. Draw your dread

What happens when we express our dread without words? Art therapist Naomi Cohen-Thompson and meditation teacher and writer Jeff Warren explain why reframing our attitudes toward dread nonverbally can help us accept what scares us.

Exercise: Draw how you are feeling inside; then “take note of how you feel when you look at your drawing,” according to Ten Percent Happier’s website. “If it amuses you, you could even try sticking it up on the wall near your work space, or by the bathroom mirror, to help it feel welcome, instead of like an enemy you want to reject.”

3. Find the joy in dreading … death

Fear of death may be the ultimate type of dread we face, but clinical psychologist Rachel Menzies and death doula Alua Arthur say that facing death can be a joyful exercise. They make a compelling case for why remembering we will die — instead of trying to forget — can help us accept the inevitable.

Exercise: “At some point in the next 24 [hours], wherever you are — in your home, or out on a walk — take 3-5 minutes to pause. … Then, take a look around you. … Look at — and name — the things that are either dying or have died,” according to Ten Percent Happier. That includes the wood on your desk or the kitchen light bulb that just blew out.

4. Schedule your dread

This is how my dread works: I dread something. I try to avoid thinking about it. I fail. Before I know it, I’ve spent an entire day stuck in an endless loop of worry. Mattu says to carve out “worry time” to keep dread from becoming too overwhelming.

Exercise: “Block off about ten minutes,” says Mattu. “Then, simply sit with the running list of things you’re dreading. … When the timer dings, you can leave dread behind, knowing that there will be more time to address it later.”

5. Notice your surroundings

After speaking with More Than a Feeling listeners, it became clear that one of the biggest issues they’re worried about right now is the state of our planet. Therapist Patty Adams helped me understand how connecting to the environment can help us build emotional resilience — so that even if we feel discouraged by “eco-dread,” as it’s called, we don’t stay there for too long.

Exercise: “This evening, some time around sunset, stop what you’re doing, and step outside,” according to Ten Percent Happier. “Take time to notice things around you: the quality of the light, the color it makes on your skin or the other structures or living things around you. … When you turn around to go back in, does a little bit of that evening glow follow you back in?”

We hope everyone’s summer is off to a fantastic start! While everyone is enjoying the (sometimes too) warm weather we want to be sure you keep an eye on your wellness at the same time. As such, we offer these 21 tips from the folks at wellsteps.com. Check them out below, and click through to their site for the full details!

1. Have fun (or just relax) in the sun 2. … But don’t forget your sunscreen 3. Stay hydrated 4. Adopt a daily stretching routine 5. Go for daily walks 6. Fire up healthy grilling recipes 7. Do a digital detox

8. Bike to work 9. Try a new sport or activity 10. Meditate daily 11. Watch the sunrise and sunset 12. Participate in 5K or OCR races 13. Take a summer class 14. Read summer books

15. Have a reunion 16. Practice grounding techniques 17. Start a garden 18. Summer savings 19. Travel 20. Volunteer 21. Get your ZZZ’s

As we continue to observe Pride Month we are invited to continue to understand the relationship between Pride and mental health, and what we can do about it. As such, Mental Health America has put together a useful guide on this issue. The full resource can be found at https://mhanational.org/lgbtq/pride, and a summary is provided below. We encourage everyone to continue to explore these resources to promote equality and good mental health for all.

“Pride Month is a time for LGBTQ+ folks to gather and celebrate their freedom to live authentically. The LGBTQ+ community deserves affirmed, safe, supported, joyful, and mentally healthy lives. Anti-trans legislation, hate-based crimes, and discrimination shouldn’t overshadow Pride, but they can’t be ignored. We hope those struggling with their identity or living in unsupportive environments find these resources helpful to living a life of well-being and resilience.”

Exploring and affirming your gender

Affirming your loved one’s gender exploration and identity

Providing gender-affirming mental health care

Gender-nonconforming people are three to six times more likely to be on the autism spectrum. There are also higher rates of ADHD among gender-nonconforming people. Identifying as neuroqueer means that a person sees their neurodivergent and queer identities as interacting with each other.

The term “neurodivergent” has been gaining popularity recently. It often refers to people who have ADHD and/or are on the autism spectrum. There is a strong connection between LGBTQ+ identities and neurodivergent identities.

Please take some time today to explore the below resources from Mental Health America discussing challenges faced as neuroqueer individuals as well as how to find and give support. https://mhanational.org/neuroqueer

From: https://www.who.int/activities/improving-lgbtqi-health-and-well–being-with-consideration-for-sogiesc which contains a wide variety of resources to aid us in better educating ourselves and helping others.

“LGBTIQ+ health refers to the physical, mental, and emotional well-being of people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex or queer (LGBTIQ+). The plus sign represents the vast diversity of people in terms of sexual orientation, gender identity, expression and sex characteristics (SOGIESC). The LGBTIQ+ acronym is dynamic and can vary depending on the region or country, highlighting the multitude of LGBTIQ+ communities across cultures. 

While recognizing the diversity of LGBTIQ+ people, evidence suggests some common experiences affecting their health and well-being. They are less likely to access health services and engage with healthcare workers due to stigma and discrimination, resulting in adverse physical and mental health outcomes.  They can also experience human rights violations including violence, torture, criminalization, involuntary medical procedures and discrimination. In addition, they can face denial of care, discriminatory attitudes and inappropriate pathologizing in healthcare settings based on their SOGIESC. 

WHO’s support to countries is founded on the fundamental human rights principle that all persons should have access to health services without discrimination. The adoption of the 2030 Agenda for Sustainable Development and its pledge to “leave no one behind”, based on the normative framework of international human rights law, has reinforced the need to understand and improve the health and well-being of LGBTIQ+ people. WHO develops guidelines, provides technical support and conducts research to help countries develop and strengthen inclusive health systems and policies for the health and well-being of all people, regardless of SOGIESC.”

Pride Month is a month dedicated to the celebration and commemoration of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) pride that began after the Stonewall riots, a series of gay liberation protests in 1969. As we observe Pride this year, here is a reminder from the Trevor Project of what it means to be an Ally and promote wellness in the community all year long.

From https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/guide/allyship-in-action/

Educate Yourself

We should never stop learning, because education can help save lives. It’s important to educate yourself, so that the burden of education isn’t on the LGBTQ+ people you want to be an ally to. Luckily, there are a lot of resources that can help you know more about the LGBTQ+ community.

Support LGBTQ+ Young People

• Be a safe space when discussing difficult topics and utilize empathetic listening practices such as reflecting language, validating experiences, staying present, being non-judgemental and expressing care, concern and encouragement.
• Use colleagues’ pronouns correctly and consistently. Model sharing pronouns in meetings, in email signatures, and on web platforms.

Advocate for LGBTQ+ People

Through advocacy at all levels of government, public education, and litigation we leverage our expertise and cutting-edge research to advance protective policies, increase public support, and create the world each LGBTQ+ young person deserves. This includes efforts to…

• Protect LGBTQ+ young people from the dangerous practice of conversion “therapy.”
• Ensure trans and nonbinary young people can access the care they need and live as their authentic selves.
• Create safe and affirming school environments.
• Ensure the nation’s 988 Lifeline is able to adequately and competently support LGBTQ+ young people in crisis.

Be a Visible Ally When Working With LGBTQ+ Young People

• Introduce yourself with your name and pronouns. Invite others to do the same.
• If you’re able, decorate your space with items that signify allyship. This could be a pronoun button, a flag, or a poster of an LGBTQ+ film or artist.
• Do not tolerate bullying or harassment in your space at all. If bullying
  or harassment happens, enact consequences and hold the person causing harm accountable.
• Talk positively about LGBTQ+ people. Even in instances where it’s not appropriate to share their identity, this can show allyship. Always condemn acts of erasure if you’re able.
• Encourage visual cues of allyship, such as ‘safe space’ stickers or rainbow flags.

Memorial Day is considered the unofficial beginning of summer here in the United States, and with that in the rearview many are considering their plans for the next few months. But whether you will be staying at work or headed to the shore it is important to let the sunshine in! See below for 8 benefits of catching some rays from our friends over at Calm.

1. Vitamin D synthesis: When our skin is exposed to sunlight, it creates vitamin D, a crucial nutrient that helps the body absorb calcium and phosphorus. This is vital for building and maintaining strong bones and teeth. Vitamin D also supports the immune system in protecting against illnesses and infections.

2. Regulation of sleep cycles: Sunlight influences our body’s internal clock, which controls when we feel awake and when we feel sleepy. Natural light exposure during the day helps regulate the production of melatonin, the hormone responsible for sleep. Aligning our sleep-wake cycles with natural sunlight can help improve the quality of our sleep and can make it easier to wake up feeling refreshed.

3. Lower blood pressure: Sunlight on the skin can stimulate the production of nitric oxide. This can widen blood vessels, helping reduce blood pressure. Lower blood pressure can decrease the risk of heart attacks and strokes, and contribute to overall cardiovascular health.

4. Immune system boost: Beyond vitamin D production, sunlight can help increase white blood cell count, helping defend the body against infections. More exposure to sunlight might mean a potentially better-prepared immune system to fight off illness.

5. Mood enhancement: Sunlight may directly influence mood by increasing the production of the neurotransmitter serotonin. Often called the “feel-good” chemical, it can contribute to feelings of happiness and wellbeing. Regular exposure to sunlight can help elevate your mood, reduce feelings of sadness, and increase overall emotional stability.

6. Reduction in stress levels: Sunlight can have a calming effect by helping regulate stress hormones, like cortisol, making it easier to relax. This soothing effect of natural light can make day-to-day challenges more manageable and improve mental clarity and focus.

7. Relieving symptoms of anxiety and depression: The boost in serotonin may help reduce anxiety by bringing a sense of calm. For those affected by seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which is a type of depression related to changes in seasons, sunlight can help counteract the symptoms that come with the decrease in natural light during the darker months.

8. Improved sleep quality: Sunlight helps regulate melatonin, the sleep hormone, which can help you fall asleep more easily and can enhance sleep quality.

According to a recent survey published by Oracle, seventy-eight percent of those polled said they would pay a premium for true happiness if it were possible. Given that doing so is not possible, positive psychology researcher Stephanie Harrison took time to consider other ways of moving toward happiness. One undepreciated way, she found, is through serving others.

In her recent book, “New Happy“, she shared that she thinks “the secret to happiness is using who you are to help other people, and to do that, you have to discover who you are, who you really are, away from the conditioning that we’ve been given by our society.”

Here are some quick tips to get started. To learn more visit https://www.cnbc.com/2024/05/16/this-is-the-secret-to-happiness-from-a-happiness-researcher.html

• Send a note to a loved one letting them know how much you appreciate them
• Write a nice email to someone praising their work
• Call a friend you haven’t heard from in a while
• Give a call to a store or business that you enjoy and thank them
• Smile at a stranger
• Speak up about a cause that holds value to you

The topic of resiliency was popular pre-COVID and, in the last four years, has become a necessary concept to understand and promote.

Recently, Ashton Jackson at CNBC reviewed the work of Penn’s Adam Grant on the subject.

Everyone experiences unexpected hardships. You can bounce back and learn from them with an important soft skill: resilience.

The more mentally resilient you are, the more quickly you can recover from challenges or persist in the face of them, according to Wharton psychologist Adam Grant. The trait helps you take smarter risks, beat burnout at work and live a happier life. Without it, you can more easily get stuck on your problems and fall into a negative mental state.

Building resilience takes time, but finding ways to foster wellness, healthy thinking and connection with others can help you strengthen your adaptability and mental flexibility, according to the American Psychological Association.

Here are three habits that can help you become highly resilient, experts say:

Tend and befriend

If your typical response to stress is to get away from it or shut down, you’re not alone. But resilience is all about finding ways through life’s stressors and learning from them, and creating social connections can help.

“We all know about fight-or-flight — the stress response that can occur when we encounter a perceived threat,” executive coach and author Jason Shen wrote for CNBC Make It in March. “But social scientists have uncovered a different and equally important stress response called ‘tend-and-befriend,’” which involves seeking contact with others when you’re facing a tough situation.

To cultivate this response, Shen recommends trying these activities:

• Schedule chats with friends or family to discuss the stressful situation, or simply boost your mood.
• Join a support group where you can discuss your problems, in depth, with people who might be experiencing similar circumstances.
• Give someone a hug. The action boosts “happy” chemicals like oxytocin and endorphins, which can help calm you down in the face of stress.

Take a digital break

Content on TikTok, Instagram and Facebook can be a nice distraction. It can also cause mental health-related challenges like anxiety, depression, low self-esteem and increased isolation or loneliness.

To build resilience, take a digital break every now and then, says University of Pennsylvania humanities professor Justin McDaniel — otherwise known as the teacher of Penn’s “monk class.”

McDaniel spent almost a year living like a monk, and found that limiting digital use can help you clear your head and make you more available for meaningful, in-person connection — both of which can help you strengthen your resilience.

“I always tell my students that the difference in a lot of things in life is dealing with 30 seconds of discomfort,” McDaniel told Make It last year. “What if you got in an elevator or onto the subway with someone else and didn’t immediately pull out your phone?”

Help other people

Doing acts of service for other people, like volunteering, can help you build mental resilience and find community, the Mayo Clinic noted in a blog post last year.

Reflecting on the experience afterward can show you the impact of your work and help you maintain motivation, according to Grant. His advice is simple: Keep a journal of your contributions to others.

Grant found the journaling approach to be effective after conducting a study with two groups of employees. One wrote about what they were grateful for every day, and the other wrote about three ways they helped others each day.

“Attending to gratitude made people happier. It certainly made them more satisfied with their jobs. It didn’t affect their resilience, though,” Grant told Make It in 2017. “What really boosted resilience was focusing not on contributions received from other people, but rather, contributions given to other people.”

This week’s DD comes to us via Jennifer Garefino, Operational Excellence Specialist, in honor of National Nurses Week.

Let’s start with a question: How much does a nurse walk during their shift?

According to recent data, an average 12-hour day shift will require a nurse to walk about 5 miles. The authors of this article suggest that nurses walk much more than many other professions, and because of this, nurses will be able to reach their fit goals and stay healthier because of the increased amount of exercise they receive on the job, at least in this one regard. But what else going into nursing wellness? Read more at NurseToghether.com!

According to a recent paper, “The number of individuals experiencing mental disorders (e.g., anxiety and depression) has significantly risen in recent years. Therefore, it is essential to seek prevention and treatment strategies for mental disorders. Several gut microbiota, especially Firmicutes and Bacteroidetes, are demonstrated to affect mental health through microbiota–gut–brain axis, and the gut microbiota dysbiosis can be related to mental disorders, such as anxiety, depression, and other mental disorders. On the other hand, dietary components, including probiotics (e.g., Lactobacillus and Bifidobacterium), prebiotics (e.g., dietary fiber and alpha-lactalbumin), synbiotics, postbiotics (e.g., short-chain fatty acids), dairy products, spices (e.g., Zanthoxylum bungeanum, curcumin, and capsaicin), fruits, vegetables, medicinal herbs, and so on, could exert protective effects against mental disorders by enhancing beneficial gut microbiota while suppressing harmful ones.”

So what do we do about this? The folks over at the blog “Well+Good” recommend 9 areas you can focus on, perhaps one area per week over the next few months, to attend to the importance of guy health. Full details are at https://www.wellandgood.com/how-to-improve-gut-health/, but the list boils down to this: Eat more plants, add fiber wherever you can, try fermented foods like miso or sauerkraut, reduce processed food intake, drink plenty of water, and avoid unnecessary antibiotics. Check the article above for specific tips on how, or consult with your doctors at your next appointment.

Science says grab a handful of soil or hike a muddy trail, it can benefit everything from your mood to your microbiome!

Holly Burns at the New York Times recently provided a summary of these findings in her article “A Little Bit of Dirt Is Good for You.” She interviewed Christopher A. Lowry, a professor of integrative physiology at the University of Colorado Boulder, and his recommendations are below.

• Embrace the dirt while you move. Activities like mountain biking, camping and hiking are easy ways to come into contact with a diverse microbial ecosystem, Dr. Lowry said. “I think we underestimate how much exposure we get from simply being outside.”
  
  
• Plant or pick something. Gardening has long been associated with reduced depression, anxiety and stress, and it calls for plenty of time spent working in the dirt. When people ask him how to get started, Leigh Johnstone, a gardener and mental health advocate in Southampton, England, who goes by “The Beardy Gardener” to his 21,000 Instagram followers, asks them one question: “Well, what do you like to eat?” Tomatoes are one of the easiest things to grow, said Mr. Johnstone, because they need very little maintenance and can be planted in a pot or hanging basket on a balcony. He also suggested strawberries and herbs like basil, mint or chives.
  
  
• Do like the kids do. Jill Dreves, the founder of Wild Bear Nature Center in Nederland, Colo., has a simple recipe for getting dirty: Make a mud pie. She suggested throwing something similar to a sip and paint event: Ask everyone to bring an old cake pan and get creative with mud. “Bring out some rocks and beads to press into them, collect some pretty leaves, press your hands or feet in,” said Ms. Dreves, who has organized mud pie parties with her staff. “We save that kind of thing for little kids, but really, as adults, we need to be doing more of it.” If you have actual kids to entertain, build a fairy garden, Ms. Yurich said. Gather leaves and moss to create a miniature, magical landscape, using sticks to construct huts, bark for the floor and stones for seating. Mr. Johnstone and his 2-year-old daughter like making bug hotels, which encourage insects to shelter inside. They also make seed bombs, which you can assemble any time of year, then store until spring or autumn to throw around the yard, Mr. Johnstone said. “A lot of people still have this nervousness around touching soil,” he said. But for him, “it makes me happy.”

Research suggests that clutter can affect our wellbeing broadly, being associated with anxiety, poor sleep, and inability to focus. It can also make us less productive, triggering coping and avoidance strategies that make us more likely to snack on junk and watch TV shows (including ones about other people decluttering their lives). More globally, clutter can influence our cognition, emotions and subsequent behaviors, including our relationships with others.

So what can be done about this? Jancee Dunn at the New York Times Well Blog suggests three projects you can likely accomplish when you get home tonight and that may move you closer to a sense of wellbeing.

Let go of mystery chargers and cords: According to Melissa Dilkes Pateras, an organizing expert and author of “A Dirty Guide to a Clean Home,” Many of us have a dusty box or bag of mystery cords, chargers, remote controls and reusable batteries. We have no idea what they’re for, but we’re afraid to throw them out. It’s time to dump out the container, said Pateras, who is known to her 1.6 million TikTok followers as the “Laundry Lesbian.” Separate the chargers, batteries and phones into piles. “Think about all of the things in your house that have cords or chargers, and go through and try them,” she said. If nothing fits, she said, out they go. “You don’t need your Razr flip phone charger,” she said. To drop off electronic waste, contact your city’s sanitation department or search on sites such as Call2Recycle, Earth911 or GreenCitizen. Stores like Best Buy offer electronics recycling programs. And if someday you find that you truly need that discarded cord, Kennedy said, a replacement is usually easy to find.

Clear the clutter out of your car: Kennedy has found that even the most committed neatnik may have a different attitude when it comes to their car. “Some people will say, ‘My car is my one place where I can just do whatever, it’s my nest space. So I’ve got wrappers all over. I’ve got bills. I’ve got my requisition for blood work.’” To start, Kennedy said, bring a garbage bag, wet wipes, glass cleaner and a dry cloth out to the car. Check the doors, the cup holder, the center console, the glove compartment, under the front seats, the back pockets of the car seats and the trunk. Throw away anything that’s outdated or doesn’t belong, said Kennedy, such as old paperwork or fast food toys your kids played with for two seconds. “There’s a joke in the organizing community that we keep donations in our car that you mean to drop off, and then we leave them in there for a year,” Kennedy said. If you keep reusable shopping bags in your trunk, Pateras said, “the rule of thumb is to have as many as you use for your biggest grocery shopping trip.” And if you haven’t used something in the past few months, and if it’s not for an emergency, Kennedy said, return it to its proper place in the house. (A first aid kit can stay in the car, Kennedy said, but out-of-season sports equipment doesn’t need to join you year-round.)

Dig out from under the kitchen sink: Shira Gill, organizing expert and author of “Minimalista,” calls this area a “shove-and-pile zone.” “Even if you’re the only one that sees it,” she said, “clear it out as a treat for yourself.” First, Pateras said, pull out every single thing under the sink. Then wipe off the surfaces, and get rid of expired products and worn-out items like sponges and cracked rubber gloves. Toss specialty cleaning products that you haven’t used in at least a year, like that curdled grout cleaner, Gill said. (The American Cleaning Institute provides instructions for safe disposal). Gill also puts her dishwasher pods in a container like a Mason jar, she said, “which takes up less room and looks nicer.” Kennedy recommends getting a caddy for your cleaning products. Stock it with multipurpose cleaners, which will lighten your load, and some microfiber towels, she said. I finally chipped out the loaf under my sink, and now that area is clear and tidy (and dry). My new motto: No shoving, no piling.

We’ve all heard the age-old wisdom that “it is better to give than to receive” from parents or spiritual teachings. Psychologist Adam Grant extends this idea to suggest that a culture of giving can lead to higher productivity, morale, and efficiency.

According to his research, generosity fosters a sense of community and trust, encouraging collaboration and support among team members. This environment enables individuals to flourish, as they feel valued and supported. To foster a culture of generosity, leaders need to step up and lead by example. They need to create an environment where generosity is recognized and rewarded and where employees feel safe giving without fear of being exploited.

Grant coined the term “otherish” giving, which refers to offering help to those you choose to, and which ultimately benefits you by lifting your spirits. Economists describe this feeling as the “warm glow” of giving, while psychologists call it the “helper’s high.” Neuroscience also indicates that when we engage in these acts of giving, our brain’s reward and meaning centers are activated, which emit pleasure and purpose signals as we act for the benefit of others. The bottom line? The social connection tied to giving–whether to a person in need in your community or organization or a grassroots charity close to your heart–gives the giver the greatest psychological benefit and boost of happiness.

You can read the full article and learn more about Grant’s work at https://www.inc.com/marcel-schwantes/adam-grant-says-your-overall-happiness-comes-down-to-1-word.html

Robert H. Shmerling, MD is the senior faculty editor at Harvard Health Publishing; and member of the editorial advisory board at Harvard Health Publishing. He recently published a piece entitled “How well do you worry about your health?” in which he describes how many of us worry about our health, yet a lot of what we focus on poses little risk.

Dr. Shmerling says “it’s impossible (and ill-advised) to never worry about your health” and asks id we are worrying about the right things. Below is a summary of his comparisons which lead him to his advice: “try not to focus too much on health risks that are unlikely to affect you,” he says. “Instead, think about common causes of poor health. Then take measures to reduce your risk. Moving more and adding healthy foods to your meals is a great start.

And in case you’re curious, the average number of annual deaths due to quicksand is zero in the US!

Spring has sprung, and in many cultures this is looked at as a time of renewal. While those renewal efforts are often physical, we can also use this period as a reminder to renew our overall wellbeing. Enter Calm’s recent article “10 ways to (re)find joy in life.” Read the full article, or just scan the list below and choose one to try to work on for the next week or two!

1. Explore new hobbies and activities: Broaden your horizons by trying new things. This can add excitement to your life and help you discover new passions. Make a list of activities you’ve always wanted to try and take the first step towards trying one this week.💙 Take some time to find out what activities bring you happiness and joy. We recommend beginning with the Discovering Happiness series by Shawn Achor, which dives into habits and activities that are destined to make you feel happier.
2. Prioritize a healthy diet: What you eat affects your mood. Focus on balanced, nutritious meals that fuel your body and mind. A simple first step could be including more fruits and vegetables in your diet and staying hydrated with water or herbal tea.💙 Change your life by prioritizing what you eat and learn about the importance of a healthy diet in The 4 Pillars of Health series. Remember that food is used for both fuel and fun, and incorporating treats into a healthy lifestyle can ramp up those happiness levels, too.
3. Practice self-care: Taking care of yourself is crucial. This means getting enough rest, managing stress, and doing things that make you feel good. Set aside a few minutes each day for relaxation or a favorite activity.💙 Discover the tools of self-care and create a nourishing practice of reflection and rest in the Radical Self-Care series. 
4. Stay active: Exercise releases brain chemicals thought to boost your mood. Start with short, enjoyable physical activities that fit into your daily routine, like a daily walk or some stretching exercises. Bonus points for noticing how you feel after the workout and writing it down in a journal to motivate yourself in the future.💙 Lace up your sneakers and head out for a 30-minute Mindful Run (or walk) with Mel Mah and tune into the world around you. 
5. Build positive relationships: Positive interactions with friends and family can greatly enhance your happiness, so surround yourself with people who uplift you. Reach out to a friend or family member for a chat or a get-together this week.💙 Practicing Empathy can have positive effects on your own happiness, as well as the happiness of those around you. Give it a try and witness how your connections can blossom.
6. Connect with nature: Spending time in nature can be calming and rejuvenating. Whether it’s a walk in the park, gardening, or just sitting outside, try to spend some time outdoors every day.💙 If you can’t get outside, you can mentally escape to a more tranquil place with a soundscape like High Sierra Lake or Forest Ambience. 
7. Cultivate patience: Finding happiness is a journey. Be patient with yourself as you explore what brings you joy, and understand that happiness can ebb and flow. Acknowledge your feelings and know that it’s okay to have ups and downs.💙 Follow along in this guided meditation with Tamara Levitt on how to cultivate and practice Patience.
8. Reach out for social support: Speaking about your feelings and experiences can be therapeutic, so talk to friends or family members. Consider joining a local support group to boost your social circle.
9. Perform acts of kindness: Doing something nice for others can boost your own happiness. Try giving a compliment, volunteering, or helping a neighbor this week, and notice how it makes you feel.💙 Learn how to perform Random Acts of Kindness, which are scientifically proven to increase happiness for both the giver and receiver. 
10. Seek professional help when necessary: It’s important to recognize when you need additional support and to seek it out. Whether it’s talking to a healthcare professional, joining a support group, or simply confiding in a trusted friend, reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Jancee Dunn has been writing about health and science for more than 20 years, and currently published the Well newsletter for The New York Times, a weekly update on personal health and fitness. Recently, she covered a secret to well-being that may surprise you. You can read the full article here, and below is a summary and some thoughts on how you can adopt her findings into your life.

In short, experts say that toddlers — full of energy, curiosity and laughter — have a lot to teach adults! She interviewed Dr. Hasan Merali, an associate professor of pediatrics at McMaster University and a pediatric emergency room physician, who shares the following:

Try positive self-talk.

Young children tend to coach themselves out loud, a practice known as private speech (such as this popular clip from a 4-year-old snowboarder).

Toddlers aren’t shy about self-talk, Dr. Merali said, and you shouldn’t be, either. Research suggests that for adults, positive self-talk can help with problem-solving, learning, confidence and managing your emotions. I told Dr. Merali I tend to speak harshly to myself, but would try to sub in phrases like “You can do it” instead.

Take any opportunity to move.

Two-year-olds are active for almost five hours a day, according to a review of 24 studies. They move joyfully and instinctively, Dr. Merali said.

Adults can look for ways to move more, even if it’s just for a minute. Take a quick walk around the block, or schedule a meeting on foot rather than sitting down. If you’re home alone, do what Kelly McGonigal, a health psychologist at Stanford University, has called “full-body karaoke,” singing and moving to your favorite song. Brief bursts of activity have been shown to increase longevity if they add up to 10 minutes per day. Standing up for three minutes every half-hour can help control your blood sugar, too. You can also find ways to be around young kids, “a happiness that is unmatched,” Dr. Merali said. (The nonprofit Generations United features a national database of intergenerational programs and activities.)

Ask questions.

Young kids are not afraid to pose questions, Dr. Merali said. One study found that they asked an average of 107 questions an hour. (This will not surprise their parents.)

I have written a few children’s books, and my favorite part of library readings was question time: “Have you ever been to the moon?” “Can you turn into a cheetah?”

Adults have been socialized to hold back our questions because we’re often worried about what other people think, Dr. Merali said. But asking questions not only helps us to gain information, it’s also an important way to build relationships, he said.

Fix your sleep schedule.

Toddlers thrive on routine, and having a schedule with consistent sleep and waking times will help you, too, said Alberto Ramos, a sleep neurologist and researcher with the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine. If your schedule permits, and if you have the urge, napping also has a host of benefits, including sharper thinking and reaction times and improved memory. As long as you’re not dealing with insomnia, which can be worsened by napping, Dr. Ramos recommended a short nap — 20 to 30 minutes maximum — in the early afternoon.

Look for opportunities to laugh.

Toddlers “see the world as a comedy club,” Dr. Merali writes. One study found that young children laugh six times as much as adults. But we can seek ways to build playfulness and humor into our day. Listen to a comedy podcast or trade silly texts with someone, Dr. Merali said. Research shows you laugh more when you are with friends, so make time for them, he said. “I get a daily dad joke mailed to me,” Dr. Merali told me. “And during my lunch break, I watch videos.”

What does he watch? “Funny toddler videos,” he said. Of course.

Adapted from Calm.com, read the full article there.

In small doses, stress can motivate you to meet deadlines and achieve goals at work. However, when work-related stress becomes chronic, it can lead to mental health problems like anxiety and depression, and physical health problems such as heart disease and high blood pressure.

Recognizing the signs of work stress

• Emotional symptoms: These may include irritability, frustration, anxiety, depression, or low morale.
• Physical symptoms: Signs of stress include headaches, muscle tension, fatigue, and sleep disturbances.
• Behavioral symptoms: Increased absenteeism, reduced productivity, and withdrawal from work-related activities are a few examples.

What to Do About It

1. Identify your stressors

Observe and reflect on when and why you feel stressed to help you see patterns and develop strategies to cope.

• Keep a stress diary: Record the moments when you feel stressed. Note the situation, your thoughts, how you reacted, and what could have been done differently. 
• Analyze your diary: Look for recurring themes in your diary. Are there specific tasks, times of day, or interactions that consistently cause stress?

2. Ask for help

Seeking support is a sign of strength, not a weakness.

• Talk to your supervisor: If workload or a specific task is a source of stress, discuss it with your manager. They may offer solutions or adjustments to your workload.
• Seek support from colleagues: Talking about stressors with a trusted colleague can provide relief. They might also offer practical advice or assistance.
• Consider professional help: If work stress is severely impacting your life, seek advice from a mental health professional.

3. Practice mindfulness and meditation

Mindfulness and meditation can help you stay centered and calm.

• Start with short sessions: Begin with a few minutes of meditation or a mindfulness practice daily. Use guided sessions if you’re a beginner.
• Incorporate mindfulness into your day: Try to be fully present in whatever you’re doing, whether it’s eating lunch or attending a meeting, to help yourself stay present and reduce feelings of stress and overwhelm.

4. Establish boundaries

Establishing clear boundaries between work and personal life is important for stress management.

• Set work hours: Define clear start and end times for your workday. Avoid checking emails or taking work calls outside these hours.
• Create physical or virtual boundaries: Designate a specific area for work and avoid using it for personal activities to help separate work from relaxation time.

5. Take breaks

Regular breaks, even short micro-breaks can help clear your mind, improve focus, and reduce stress.

• Step away from your desk: Take short breaks throughout the day to walk around, stretch, or do a quick relaxation exercise.
• Use breaks wisely: Rejuvenate yourself with a few minutes of deep breathing or a brief walk outside.

6. Commit to work-life balance

Ensuring a healthy balance between work and your personal life is essential for reducing stress.

• Prioritize non-work activities: Make time for hobbies, exercise, and spending time with loved ones. 
• Learn to disconnect: Physically and mentally disconnect from work after hours. Turning off notifications or setting limits on work-related activities in the evening.

People have the right to ask the question and favors of you, and you have the right to say no.

Some of us are taught early on that saying no to requests from those around us are acts of violation of the relationship but are actually nothing of the sort. It is our right and also our responsibility to draw my own boundaries, rather than expect another person to draw them for me. Author Leslie Jamison learnt this lesson over many years and recently wrote about the art of saying no.

She created a “Notebook of Noes.” On every page, she wrote down an opportunity she had decided to decline: a speaking gig, a magazine commission, an invitation from a friend. Then she drew a line across the page. Underneath, she wrote what saying no had made room for: more time with her partner. More time at home. More time to write. More time to call her mother and ask about her day, and tell her about hers.

What she wound up writing was the story of learning to live a different way. She realized that each time she uttered the word, the world continued just as it always had. The people she had been anxious about disappointing? They were OK. The fear of losing something for good? It often came back, or something else did.

More than anything, however, the Notebook of Noes helped her see absence as a form of presence — instead of lamenting the ghost limb of what she wasn’t doing, she could acknowledge that every refusal was making it more possible to do something else.

Read her full article her, and start your Notebook of Noes today!

While we know poor sleep can be associated with depression, anxiety, and other mental health concerns we often feel powerless to do anything about this. Christina Caron as a writer on the New York Times Well desk where she aims to share expert advice and reputable research in a useful and empathetic, helping others to live better lives. And, while she often write about depression, anxiety and other mental health problems, she also likes to focus on solutions.

In a recent piece she shared that Americans are chronically sleep deprived: one-third of adults in the United States say they get less than 7 hours a night. Teenagers fare even worse: About 70 percent of high school students don’t get enough sleep on school nights. She also shared that an analysis of 19 studies found that while sleep deprivation worsened a person’s ability to think clearly or perform certain tasks, it had a greater negative effect on mood. And when the National Sleep Foundation conducted a survey in 2022, half of those who said they slept less than 7 hours each weekday also reported having depressive symptoms. Some research even indicates that addressing insomnia may help prevent postpartum depression and anxiety. So what do we do about it?

Ms. Caron says “We’ve all heard how important it is to practice good sleep hygiene, employing the daily habits that promote healthy sleep. And it’s important to speak with your doctor, in order to rule out any physical problems that need to be addressed, like a thyroid disorder or restless legs syndrome. But this is only part of the solution. Conditions like anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder and bipolar disorder can make it harder to sleep, which can then exacerbate the symptoms of mental illness, which in turn makes it harder to sleep well.”

But what else is there? In addition she came across “Say Goodnight to Insomnia” by Gregg D. Jacobs. The book, which uses C.B.T.-I. techniques, helped Emily to reframe the way she thought about sleep. She began writing down her negative thoughts in a journal and then changing them to positive ones. For example: “What if I’m never able to fall asleep again?” would become “Your body is made to sleep. If you don’t get enough rest one night, you will eventually.” These exercises helped her stop catastrophizing.

It may also be helpful to check out some apps with empirical support for efficacy in treating sleep and mood issues, specifically CBT-i Coach.

Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love. But for many, the holiday can be stressful, especially for singles, those mourning lost love, or anyone who may be unhappy with the status of their relationship. One way to cope with this is to shift the love you offer this Valentine’s Dat from others back to yourself! The folks over at Embark Behavioral Health offer these 5 tips for shifting the focus back to you today:

1. Celebrate your most important relationship – the one you have with yourself! The relationship you have with yourself will be your longest relationship in life, so it’s important to treat yourself well. If you are not spending Valentine’s Day with a significant other, plan your own night. Think about what reenergizes you. Take a bath, spend some time with a good book or plan your own at-home spa night. Buy yourself chocolates or flowers. Valentine’s Day is a time to feel loved, so show yourself how much you love you.

2. Invest in all your relationships. Valentine’s Day is a day for love, but not just romantic love. Send Valentine’s Day cards to your family and friends, small gifts of love to your nieces and nephews, or maybe bake cookies for a neighbor. Make the day a day of gratitude where the people in your life feel your appreciation.

3. Practice mindfulness. Meditation and mindfulness can be found in a variety of forms. Find a mindfulness app or a free podcast, turn down the lines, and focus your attention on your breath and your emotions. If sitting quietly and journeying through meditation does not sound helpful, consider coloring in a calming book or writing a journal entry. Doing this regularly has been shown to reduce feelings of anxiety and stress and can help you cope if emotions become too strong.

4. Seek support if necessary. If you are really struggling this Valentine’s Day, speak to a trusted family member, friend or therapist, and get the help you need. If you consider harming yourself or others, contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for immediate support by calling, texting, or chatting 988.

5. Turn off social media. You love to see your family and friends happy, but consider avoiding social media for the days leading up to Valentine’s Day. It can be difficult to see others having something you want and turning off social media will give you time to focus on what’s really important this holiday. Always remember that a person’s social media page is often their “highlight reel,” never showing the full story, and usually finding the best parts of their life to show the world.

Launched in 2017, Girl Scouts of Greater New York’s Troop 6000 is a first-of-its-kind program designed to serve families living in temporary housing in the New York City shelter system.

Each week, Girl Scouts meet in shelters across the city to take part in activities that help them make new friends, earn badges, and learn to see themselves as leaders. All fees, uniforms, trips, and program materials are provided at no cost.

As a permanent fixture of the program, we also established the Troop 6000 Transition Initiative, which supports Girl Scouts and their families as they transition to permanent housing. The average stay for a family in a city shelter is 18 months. Remaining connected to the community and opportunities introduced to them through Troop 6000 can help facilitate a successful transition for girls and young people, and it is essential they continue to receive the financial support that allows them to do so.

For Troop 6000 members, not only does Girl Scouting mean fun, it means consistency and community – a network of supportive peers and adults who, even if they’ve never met before, have similar experiences and are part of the same club.

If you want to support this, and do not have a local troop to buy from, or need an ethically driven reasons to buy even more, you can buy cookies to support Troop 6000 at https://digitalcookie.girlscouts.org/scout/sixk347668/

To learn more about Troop 6000’s expansion to serve recent immigrant and asylum-seeking families, click here.

This post will be published on the last day of January. Statistically speaking, many of us have already had to rethink or abandon our resolution for the new year. But is there another way of thinking about this?

Christina Caron, a writer, clinical researcher, and ethicist publishing at the New York Times, recently authored a piece examining why we get stuck and describing 5 ways we can try to get unstuck from common traps that can impede progress toward our goals. You can read her full article at NYTimes.com and these 5 tips are summarized below.

Do a ‘friction audit’: The friction audit is one way organizations weed out areas of inefficiency. Individuals can apply the same principles to their own lives by identifying the things that create obstacles and add complications or stress, Dr. Alter said. To get started, try asking: Am I repeating certain patterns that are unhelpful? Are there certain things I do regularly that I don’t enjoy? The next step is to either trim away or smooth out each friction point. Say you dread your commute but feel powerless to change it. Dr. Alter suggested asking yourself: “What’s the part that makes it most unappealing?” What specific changes can you make to address the problem? Will it help to listen to a great podcast or audiobook? If you drive, can you start a car pool with other co-workers? Is there a way to work from home more often?

Reframe negative thoughts: Maybe you engage in “catastrophizing,” or thinking the worst will happen. Or maybe you are overly harsh with yourself and have a case of “the shoulds,” as in: “I should have gotten more done at work,” even when you accomplished a good amount. Persistent thoughts like these can create stress and interfere with your goals, said Judy Ho, a clinical neuropsychologist and associate professor at Pepperdine University. Try to reframe your thinking, Dr. Ho suggested. For example, instead of “I’m going to fail at this project,” you can think, “I’m going to do the best I can, and if I’m struggling I will ask for help.” Finally, she said, aim to evaluate your thoughts objectively: “I’m having this thought. What’s the evidence for it? And what’s the evidence against it?”

Try ‘futurecasting’: “Imagine a future life where you are unstuck,” said Sarah Sarkis, a clinical psychologist and executive coach in Boston. What does it look like? How do you feel? Then think about the specific steps that would help you work toward that vision. Write those steps down — ideally by hand. This helps us commit to them, Dr. Sarkis said. And don’t wait until you feel “ready,” she added. Do at least one step each day if you can — but be kind to yourself if you cannot. If you skip a day or two, just start again tomorrow. “Paint the future that you’re seeking,” Dr. Sarkis said. “Map a plan to get there.”

Share your goal: Telling other people about your plans can also be helpful. Adam Cheyer, the co-creator of Siri and the vice president of A.I. Experience at Airbnb, has said that this was crucial to his success. “Just the force of putting the words into the world now makes you believe — makes you commit,” he told an audience at the University of California, Berkeley. The added benefit is that people may want to help you out. “Somehow, the universe will help you achieve this goal,” he said. “It’s been a huge, huge tool for me.”

Do something meaningful: Spending time on activities that align with your values “moves you forward if you feel stuck in completely unrelated domains of your life,” Dr. Alter said. When he was feeling unmotivated early in his teaching career, he came across a poster at his gym — a group was looking for volunteers to help raise money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society by running in the New York City Marathon. It felt almost like fate, he said; one of his friends had died from leukemia years earlier. While training, he ended up making several friends. “I felt like a more productive person and it gave me confidence to tackle other areas of my life,” he said. “We need meaning more than ever when we’re feeling stuck.”

Matthew Solan is the Executive Editor of Harvard Men’s Health Watch, and Howard E. LeWine, MD is the Chief Medical Editor for Harvard Health Publishing. They recently collaborated on a piece for Harvard Health Publishing examining how mindfulness practices and similar interventions such as yoga may help people with diabetes control blood sugar. The pair cite a recent analysis of multiple studies, published in the Journal of Integrative and Complementary Medicine, that suggests how and why these might help.

The findings suggest that “those who participated in any of the mind-body activities for any length of time lowered their levels of hemoglobin A1C, a key marker for diabetes. On average, A1C levels dropped by 0.84%. This is similar to the effect of taking metformin (Glucophage), a first-line medication for treating type 2 diabetes, according to the researchers. A1C levels are determined by a blood test that shows a person’s average blood sugar levels over the past two to three months. Levels below 5.7% are deemed normal, levels from 5.7% to less than 6.5% are considered prediabetes, and levels 6.5% and higher are in the diabetes range.”

They suggest that one’s ” “ability to reduce stress may play a big part. “Yoga and other mindfulness practices elicit a relaxation response — the opposite of the stress response,” says Dr. Shalu Ramchandani, a health coach and internist at the Harvard-affiliated Benson-Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine at Massachusetts General Hospital. “A relaxation response can lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol. This improves insulin resistance and keeps blood sugar levels in check, thus lowering A1C levels.” A relaxation response can help people with diabetes in other ways, such as by improving blood flow and lowering blood pressure, which protects against heart attacks and strokes.

You can read the full article at https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/a-mindful-way-to-help-manage-type-2-diabetes-202302062885

Marielle Segarra is a reporter and the host of NPR’s Life Kit, the award-winning podcast and radio show that shares trustworthy, nonjudgmental tips that help listeners navigate their lives. Ms. Segarra recently published an article looking at popular myths about sleep many of us believe and why we should think twice about them! You can read the full article at https://www.npr.org/2024/01/09/1196978496/debunking-popular-myths-about-sleep and have a look at some of the debunked items below.

MYTH 1: It doesn’t matter what time of day you sleep – “Unfortunately, the time of day does matter,” says Robbin. Our circadian rhythm — the internal circuitry that guides the secretion of the essential sleep hormone melatonin — is “significantly influenced by natural sunlight in our environment.” When the sun comes up and we go outside, that sunshine “stops the floodgates of melatonin and switches the ‘on’ phase of our circadian rhythm,” she says. “Conversely, going into a dark environment is what allows for the secretion of melatonin,” she adds.

MYTH 2: One night of sleep deprivation will have lasting effects – Your sleep isn’t going to be perfect every night, says Robbins. “Every now and then we might struggle. If we experience some stress during the day, our sleep suffers that night.” Sleep deprivation, or lack of sleep for at least 24 hours, can lead to short-term adverse effects such as a lapse in attention or an increase in resting blood pressure, write Robbins and her colleagues in their research paper. But they likely resolve with recovery sleep. So if you have an off night, don’t beat yourself up about it, says Robbins. Instead, try to get back on track with your normal sleep schedule as soon as possible.

MYTH 3: Being able to fall asleep anytime, anywhere is a good thing – “It’s a myth that a good sleeper would be able to hit the pillow and fall asleep right away,” says Robbins. “This is because sleep is a process.” It takes a well-rested, healthy person about 15 to 20 minutes or maybe a little bit longer to fall asleep, she adds. If you’re able to fall asleep immediately, it may be a sign of a chronically sleep-deprived state, write Robbins and her colleagues in their study. “If you were starved for food and sat down at any opportunity to eat a huge meal and ate voraciously, that would probably be a sign you’re not getting enough nutrition. It’s the same thing with sleep.”

MYTH 4: You can survive on less than 5 hours of sleep – Some people brag about needing only a few hours of sleep at night. That may come from the notion in our high-performing society that “well-rested people are lazy,” says Robbins — “which is a myth.” The reality is that adults need about 7 to 9 hours of sleep a night, she says. “That’s where we see the most optimal health [outcomes]: improved heart health, longevity and brain health into our older years.” Sleeping less than 7 hours a night can result in weight gain, obesity, diabetes and hypertension, according to a statement from the American Academy of Sleep Medicine and Sleep Research Society. It’s also associated with impaired immune function, impaired performance and increased errors — like “sending an email to the wrong person or entering incorrect numbers in a spreadsheet,” says Robbins. So if you can, try to hit that goal of sleeping 7 to 9 hours as many nights of the week as possible, she adds. You’ll know that you’ve hit your sweet spot when you “wake up feeling refreshed, have energy throughout the day and are not reaching for coffee or energy drinks in the afternoon.”

MYTH 5: Watching TV is a good way to relax before bedtime – Some people like to wind down before bed by watching TV. But that’s not a good idea, says Robbins. “You’re starting to associate your bed with things other than sleep.” Watching a show on a device that emits heat, like a laptop positioned on your stomach, can also deter your ability to fall asleep. “Keep the body cool as you approach bedtime,” she says. Your bedroom should ideally be under 70 degrees. Hotter temperatures can lead to “tossing and turning, sleep disruption and more nightmares.” In addition, watching upsetting programs like the nightly news could cause the stress hormone cortisol to spike in your body and “hinder your ability to power down,” she says. But if watching 20 or 30 minutes of a comforting TV show like Friends or Seinfeld is a big part of your sleep routine and helps you relax before bed, then “carry on,” she adds. If your sleep routine “isn’t broken, don’t worry about fixing it.”

Read more debunked myths at https://www.npr.org/2024/01/09/1196978496/debunking-popular-myths-about-sleep

Jancee Dunn is the columnist for The New York Times and who writes extensively on, among other things, wellness. As part of a series she called the 6-Day Energy Challenge, Ms. Dunn shared a few tips to light up the year ahead. You can read the full story at nytimes.com, or have a look at her 6 tips below:

1. Reframe bedtime as the beginning of the next day.

Julie Morgenstern, a productivity consultant and the author of “Time Management from the Inside Out,” said that when we consider sleep to be the last thing we do at night, we’re more likely to push it off — staying up to scroll TikTok or finish our to-do lists. Instead, she suggests thinking of a prompt bedtime as a way to get a head start on the upcoming day. Reframing rest as a new beginning rather than the tail end of the day can inspire better sleep habits, she said.

2. Try monotasking and time-blocking.

Most of us multitask throughout the day, said Cassie Holmes, a professor at U.C.L.A.’s Anderson School of Management and the author of “Happier Hour.” It’s not unusual to be sitting in a Zoom meeting while ordering groceries online and texting.

But this is not only exhausting, it’s also counterproductive, said Dr. Aditi Nerurkar, a physician at Harvard Medical School and author of the forthcoming book “The 5 Resets.” Human brains are wired to do one thing at a time, she added.

Instead, try time-blocking, said Dr. Holmes, in which you schedule uninterrupted time on your calendar for one task.

If you’re most productive in the morning, block that time to do your most important work, she suggested. And grouping similar activities avoids “transition costs,” the mental energy that we use when moving between different kinds of tasks, Dr. Holmes said. (For example, she told me that she does all of her household chores at one time — on Wednesday evening after her kids are in bed.)

3. Set digital boundaries.

We all know instinctively that constantly checking our phones can siphon our energy, so it’s important to put limits on the habit, said Cal Newport, an associate professor of computer science at Georgetown University and author of the upcoming book “Slow Productivity.”

He advised keeping your phone plugged in at a fixed location when you’re home in the evening, such as on a table in the hallway or in the kitchen. Then “if you need to look something up, or call someone, or check in on text messages, you have to go to where your phone is to do so,” he said.

If you want to listen to podcasts or audiobooks while doing chores, he added, use wireless earphones. “In this way, you are still able to get benefits from your phone,” he said, “but it is not with you as a constant companion. You cannot turn to it at the slightest moment of boredom.”

Immediately jumping to answer every text or phone call from a loved one can lead to burnout, added Nedra Tawwab, a psychotherapist and author of “Set Boundaries, Find Peace.” If you can, let the call go to voice mail. Leave the text unread. “You have the right to be unavailable,” she said.

Making New Year’s resolutions is a yearly tradition for many people. Yet, some of us fall short of reaching our goals. Below are seven tips to help you make and stick to your New Year’s resolutions. By following these suggestions, UC Davis Health experts say you can set yourself up for success.

1. Be picky about your resolutions

We may want to lose weight, eat more vegetables, volunteer more, quit smoking and spend more time with family. But experts say that’s too many goals to set for a New Year’s resolution. Pick one, maybe two things you’d like to focus on and go all in. This sets you up to achieve specific goals instead of feeling like a failure for hitting none of them.

2. Plan your resolution

It’s best to plan for your goal. Think through how you want to accomplish your resolution and how long it might take to reach your goal. For example, if your resolution is to quit smoking, research how long it takes an average person to kick the habit and the possible setbacks to expect. Proper planning will help ensure you can see it through to the end.

3. Set very specific goals

Many of us will set a New Year’s resolution like “exercise more.” But what does that really mean? Instead, you should be detailed in your resolution. It could be “exercise 30 minutes daily.” This gives you a measurable goal to reach each day that you can check off your list. It will help you feel more accomplished.

4. Don’t take on too much

Start small. Avoid setting an overly high expectation of yourself. If you’d like to lose weight, pick a small but realistic weight loss goal. Maybe that’s 10 pounds in two months. Once you reach that goal, you can think about losing another 5-8 pounds. Setting small goals can help you achieve big results.

5. Choose a new resolution

Avoid picking a goal that you’ve tried in the past but failed. You may set yourself up to fall into the same pitfalls that stopped you previously. Instead, pick something different where you can set up a better path to success. Or maybe you can modify a previous goal if that’s something you still want to accomplish.

6. Identify accountability partners for support

Lean on people – whether it’s a friend to keep your exercise resolution on track, or a spouse to help with healthier eating habits. We function better with community around us, motivating and reminding us why we chose that New Year’s resolution in the first place.

7. Give your resolution time to become a habit

New routines don’t just become habit overnight. A 2009 study found that on average, it takes 66 days to form a new habit. Be patient with yourself. If you have minor setbacks or don’t hit your goal one week, pick it back up the next week. Just keep working at your goal and eventually it can become second nature.

For many of us our relationship with the holidays can be complicated. At times it can be a joyful experience, at other times very sad, and much of the time some combination of complex emotions based on holidays passed. Recently Dr. Jill Suttie took some time to reflect on these challenges and what we can do to combat the holiday blues. You can read her full piece at https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/a_few_small_ways_to_fight_the_holiday_blues, and below are 5 quick tips to get you started.  

Add small, pleasant activities to your life. Making time every day to do something that brings you a little joy—whether that’s grabbing coffee at the local café, talking to a friend, quilting, or watching a sunset—can help balance the difficulties of the holidays with more positive experiences.

Move your body—even if it’s just a little. Exercise of any kind—walking, biking, weightlifting, dancing—is proven to be mood-boosting and is important for overall health, too.

Try meditating or practicing self-compassion. Making yourself more aware of your feelings and thoughts and learning to accept them (rather than just pushing them away) can help some people manage their moods. And, in the midst of your suffering, it can be good to remember that others feel this way, too, and to offer yourself kindness.

Connect with other people. Sometimes, we just need to stop avoiding social interactions and start connecting with people—friends, family, neighbors, colleagues, even strangers. Try calling an old friend, asking a colleague to coffee, waving at your neighbor, or greeting your local grocer or mail carrier. These small interactions can make you happier.

Give thanks for small blessings. Try starting a gratitude journal, where you write down a few small things you feel grateful for every day. Don’t try to be grateful for things you’re not happy about, though—you don’t have to paint a smiley face on difficult things. But look for the small, good things in your life—like a delicious cup of coffee, your pet’s soft fur, a beautiful winter sky, or your child’s goofy grin—and say thanks to yourself for those small blessings.

Francesca Coltrera, editor of the Harvard Health Blog, recently sat down with Wynne Armand, MD, associate director of the MGH Center for the Environment and Health and assistant professor at Harvard Medical School, to discuss the issues of environmental wellness and how to promote it this season. You can read the full article at the Harvard Health Blog, and their tips are summarized here below:

• Channel the 5 Rs:Refuse, reduce, reuse, repurpose, and only then recycle. Say no to excess. Comic sections from print newspapers or beautiful images from last year’s calendars or magazines make great envelopes and gift wrap. If you’re choosing clothes, consider buying upcycled clothing or at resale shops, as appropriate.
• Beware of greenwashing: Eco-consciousness is big business, and the benefits of what you buy may be questionable. If you have a small lawn that needs infrequent maintenance, says Dr. Armand, keeping a trusty (albeit gas-fueled) mower could be a better choice for the planet than buying an electric mower, when factoring in upstream costs of natural resources and the carbon footprint required to manufacture and ship the new — and toss out the not-so-old. (Alternatively, maybe it’s time to replant that lawn with wildflowers and vegetables?)
• Skip what’s not needed: A new backpack crafted from water bottles? Another sweater to add to a closetful? If there’s no apparent need, think twice about purchases.
• Double down on experiences and connection: Think concert tickets, museum passes, or energetic options like rock-climbing gym passes and outdoor skills classes. “Gifts of experience are great, especially for people who already have all they need. If you buy for two or try a skills swap you also get to enjoy that time together,” says Dr. Armand.

Around the globe, about 1 in 4 adults says they’re lonely. And the consequences of long-term social disconnection can be dire — everything from an increased risk of heart attacks to dementia and premature death.

But social isolation isn’t new or uncommon. And pangs of loneliness aren’t catastrophic. In fact, they’re nearly universal. What’s critical is how people respond to these feelings when they arise.

You can read the full story at NPR.org, but here are 5 tips to try to combat any loneliness you may be experiencing. 

1. Be curious: It’s easier to connect with people if you have shared interests or experiences, so start paying attention to what’s on your mind. What are you thinking about? What motivates you? What excites you? Nobel says knowing yourself can be a first step to bonding with others. “I think connecting authentically with other people is best done — and perhaps only done — if you have some kind of authentic connection with yourself,” Nobel says. If you know what’s meaningful or fun for you, it may lead you to an activity or creative outlet that connects you to people who share your interests.

2. Make something: “When we say make something, people immediately say, ‘Well, I’m not Picasso. I don’t know how to do a fancy painting,'” Nobel says. And, of course, you’re not! But the opportunities for creative expression are endless. “Do a doodle [or] a dance move,” Nobel suggests. Resurrect your grandma’s pie recipe, plant an herb garden, try a textile art. “Make something that puts your thoughts and feelings and vision about who you are and what matters into a tangible artifact that then can express those thoughts and feelings to others,” he says.

3. Take a risk by having conversations: “Share something about yourself,” Nobel says. “It doesn’t have to be the biggest, darkest secret of your life, but just something you think other people might find interesting and compelling, and see where it goes.” Even if you’re nervous about being judged or dismissed, putting yourself out there requires a bit of a risk, and it’s the first step to authentic connection. If you’ve made something — say your doodle or dance move or pie — this can be a catalyst to sharing. Simply explaining what you’ve made may make it easier to open up about who you are.

4. Find a group that matches your interests: Whether it’s volunteering for a cause you believe in or playing frisbee or Scrabble, try to find others who share your interests. And if you follow your natural curiosities, you may find something new. In his book, Nobel describes an online group that has a quirky shared interest: a fascination with brown bears in Alaska, which led to Fat Bear Week. “Share your thoughts and feelings in creative ways with other people who have that interest,” he says. And, hopefully, in those interactions you can begin to reveal yourself and share the unique things that matter to you. “Then, other people recognize that, share their story in return, and it’s like an electric circuit is connected,” he says.

5. Other people’s loneliness matters too: Loneliness can spiral. If the pangs of loneliness go unaddressed, people can end up in a world of hurt. “If you see someone who’s experiencing loneliness, tolerate the risk of asking them how they’re doing,” Nobel says. Be kind. Be willing to share something about your own experiences of loneliness, and take that risk. “Other people’s loneliness makes us lonely too,” he says.

Many of us will be observing a variety of holidays in the coming month. This often means gatherings and, even amongst the closest families and friend groups, some tension as popular yet uncomfortable topics arise.

With that, we offer some advice via Heidi Godman, Executive Editor of the Harvard Health Letter.

1. Recognize Vulnerability Factors: Some things predispose us to arguing. Common factors include financial worries that are more pronounced at the holidays, colder and darker climates, tracking modified work and school schedules, painful memories and reminders of loss, as well as behavioral factors like alcohol consumption. Gillis recommends recognizing your vulnerabilities and mitigating what you can while working toward coping with things beyond your control through regular self-care.
2. Plan Ahead: Gillis offers three ways to prepare ahead of time if arguments are possible. These include:
   • Set a time limit: If you’re hosting the event, let your guests know in advance what time the festivities will end.
   • Ask for help: To help you rein in reactivity, ask someone you trust to give you a sign if a conversation appears to be risky or escalating.
   • Schedule breaks: Think about when and how you’ll be able to take breaks during a gathering. This gives you an opportunity to check in with your emotions.
   • Prepare words of deflection: If you know loved ones might ask questions that will lead to conflict, have a prepared answer and practice it. “Make a statement acknowledging the person’s feelings and letting them know it’s best for the topic to change,” Gillis says. He suggests using a version of the following statement. “I appreciate your thoughts, but let’s talk about something we agree on or share.”
3. Learn to De-escalate:
   • Don’t take the bait: Don’t answer nosy questions if you don’t want to. “Change the subject. Move the focus back onto the other person and ask how they’re doing,” Gillis says. And if someone asks a loaded question (such as, “I suppose you voted for that candidate?”), use humor if appropriate (“Let’s talk about the Bruins instead”) and change the subject or the activity.
   • Adjust your mindset: “We have to accept that there are perspectives we don’t like and that engaging in conflict isn’t likely to change anyone’s perspective,” Gillis says. “You can choose not to participate in an unhealthy conversation.”
   • Respond with kindness: “If someone is angry with you, that suggests they really care what you think. Remember that and try to maintain a compassionate stance and response,” Gillis advises.
   • Remember why you’re there: The goal of the gathering is celebrating, not solving painful or controversial issues. “It’s the holiday. It doesn’t have to be the day when everyone puts their cards on the table to work out problems,” Gillis says. “Make it festive and enjoyable so you can feel that you created a pleasant holiday memory together.”

Ruchira Roy Chowdhury is a former business journalist turned health and wellness writer, meditation teacher, Ayurveda practitioner, and Art of Living volunteer. Like many, she extoles the importance of offering gratitude as part of wellness. She shares that “Practicing gratitude—not just on a particular day, but as often as we can—is said to have phenomenal benefits for our body, mind, and spirit. For example, research studies link gratitude with fewer signs of heart disease and demonstrate research that practicing gratitude can reduce stress levels, get feel-good hormones flowing, lower anxiety levels, activate parts of the brain associated with pleasure, and aid in good emotional and mental health.”

Below you will find her 10 recommended activities for this Thanksgiving, and you can read her full article at https://artoflivingretreatcenter.org/blog/10-gratitude-activities-to-do-this-thanksgiving/.

Perform Five Random Acts of Kindness

Studies suggest that kind people have 23% lower cortisol (stress hormone) release and age slower than the average population. Engaging in kindness also produces feel-good hormones like oxytocin and endorphins that reduce pain, help you live longer, activate the brain’s pleasure and reward centers, and make you as happy as the receiver of the kindness, if not more.

Sometimes when the pressures of our daily grind take over, we might find it challenging to engage in all these activities. But as a group or a family, you may find it easier to execute, fun, and emotionally rewarding. Performing these random acts may also encourage the introverts in the family to participate and enjoy activities they would never think of doing on their own! These do not have to be elaborate, but they must be spontaneous for these activities to be fun and meaningful. Some of these activities could include

• Volunteer at a shelter
• Check with a shelter about their immediate needs and organize the material for them
• Pay for the person behind you—a coffee or a meal
• Shovel snow for a neighbor
• Make time with elders who live alone. Invite them over for a meal and a fun evening. Ask them about their life stories and let them share their happiest memories.

Cook a Meal, Feed the Needy

In this, each person in the family can prepare one dish, not more, to feed at least ten people. Play music while you cook. Designate the responsibilities of getting vegetables, spices, paper plates, containers, organizing knives, chopping boards, and wrapping foils among the members. This makes every person feel involved.

Then, load up all the food in a car, and take it to a street corner where you may find people who could use a sumptuous meal. Spend time with them, sing, dance, and share a meal. Let this not be a once-a-year activity. As they say, if it makes you happy, keep doing it.

Create a Gratitude Board

The task here is simple. As family members go about their day, they must write down five things/people/situations they are grateful for on colorful paper and stick it on the gratitude board (this can be made out of cardboard, poster board, or using the family bulletin board). This board can stay up throughout the year—a sweet reminder of how abundant and fulfilled our lives are, even when we don’t feel it.

A Day of Giving Joy

Let’s make these activities slightly more interesting. The idea is to bring a smile to the face of a certain number of people—each person can decide what that number is for them. You can do anything—dance, sing, perform, write a poem, or share a compliment. Nurturing positivity in the environment is much like being in the perfume business; the fragrances, the joy, and the happiness of uplifting someone invariably rub off on you. As you get together for dinner, share what you did and, more importantly, how you felt. Just remembering the feeling of having done something nice for a stranger can bring a sense of gratitude.

Share Your Gratitude Story

Don’t take this process lightly—it can fill you with strength, positivity, and gratefulness. It will bring everyone closer and strengthen your bonds with each other. During this process, you may feel emotional or vulnerable. Let the emotions flow out. Know this is your safe space. Build a safe space for everyone to share openly, wholeheartedly, and without judgment.

Every person will have 5–10 minutes to think of one or more stories/incidents/blessings they received this year that they are grateful for. Remember, this is not about sharing a gratitude list. Here, the idea is to pick a story/incident and flesh out all the details about how it transpired—everything that went behind receiving it and how you feel about having it now.

Consciously reliving a pleasant memory replicates the neural activity as if it were happening in the present, which can reproduce the positive feelings associated with the incident.

Have a Gratitude Bowl

You can purchase a bowl for the occasion or use a bowl handed down from parents or grandparents. Next, everyone will drop in an object they are grateful for or an object that represents something they are thankful for. It could be a key chain, a wedding ring, a book, a pen—anything that is special and makes you feel grateful. Then, at dinner, share why this object is special to you. What makes you grateful for it?

One Thing I Did Not Notice

Email or DM people for one thing they are grateful for that they took for granted. The responses could be the sunrise—a good night’s sleep, a co-worker who always has their back, or a spouse who cooks like magic! You can also help out with generic prompts to make it easier.

Pay a Compliment

Write the names of everyone attending Thanksgiving dinner on pieces of paper and put them into a bowl. Each person picks a name and as you go around the table, you will compliment the person whose name you choose.

You must mention one or more qualities you like in this person and share why you are grateful for them. Then, if you wish, you can go and hug this person. This activity may seem time-consuming, but it will leave everyone feeling appreciated, loved, and grateful for each other.

Say a Prayer

While we spend time with people we love, we often forget the power of faith that has sometimes helped us brave the wildest storms of life. So before starting dinner, try a few minutes of silence.

Use this time to think of all the blessings life has offered and in the heart of silence, share a quiet prayer of gratitude to the divine or any other power you believe in. Gurudev says gratitude is a powerful magnet to bring in more of what we have. The more abundant and generous we feel, the more reasons we attract to feel that way into our lives. This can also be a poignant time to remember the lives and contributions of people who are no longer with us and whom we miss every day. We can pray for their onward journey, wishing them peace, love, and freedom.

Watch a Film Together

And finally, as you end the day, dim the lights and watch a classic heart-warmer like It’s A Wonderful Life, Life is Beautiful, Freedom Writers, Pursuit of Happiness, Bambi, the Kung Fu Panda series, Inside Out with your family—holding them closer than ever.

Whether you participate in various activities or do nothing but spend time with each other, whatever you do and wherever you are, do not miss a chance to be grateful in life.

The below is an excerpt from NPR’s wellness blog. Read the full piece at https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/11/06/1210507968/thai-chi-word-games-cognition-mentally-sharp-meditation-motion

There’s plenty of evidence that exercise can help protect our bodies and brains. And as we age, daily movement doesn’t need to be super intense. In fact, a new study finds tai chi, a slow-moving form of martial arts, can help slow cognitive decline and protect against dementia.

The study found that people who practiced a simplified form of tai chi called Tai Ji Quan twice a week for about six months improved their score by 1.5 points. This increase may not sound like a lot, but study author Dr. Elizabeth Eckstrom says “you’ve basically given yourself three extra years” of staving off decline. The study is published in Annals of Internal Medicine.

Her theory on why tai chi is effective is that it combines the memorization of the movements, known as forms, almost like a dance choreography. “So, you’re getting the physical activity, plus the memory piece,” she says.

Cooper recently relaunched one of it’s physical activity initiatives, now known as the Cooper Climbers Club (formerly the Zenith Climb Challenge). You can read full details at https://wellness.cooperhealth.org/ccc/, but in brief its goal is to connect all Cooper team members to climb as many stairs as they can in a month – getting healthy together!

But getting our steps in every day can sometimes be challenging. To that end, Jennifer Garefino, Cooper Operational Excellence Specialist and CCC founding member, recently passed along the following article outlining how to try to get steps in, as well as scientifically backed benefits of doing so. More details available below and at ABCNews.com.

Many people fear a long life span, e.g.  living to be 100, due to possible loneliness, poor health, and solitudeI. Peter Attia, physician and best-selling author, acknowledges that many of those fears are valid and so he believes in maximizing what he calls “health span” instead. Attia’s focus is on addressing “the Four Horsemen of Chronic Disease” — cardiovascular disease, cancer, cognitive diseases (such as Alzheimer’s) and metabolic diseases (such as Type 2 diabetes). Below are some guidelines he provides for achieving this, and you can read the full article at https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2023/10/13/peter-attia-longevity-advice/.

First, Be Specific: the greater the specificity with which you train for your physical goals, the more likely you are to achieve them. Attia asks patients to think specifically about what they want to be able to do when they are in their 80s or older, and to start training for that when they are in their 40s or 50s or 60s, setting milestones along the way. For example, if you want to lift your great-grandchild when you’re 80, you need to, in your 50s, 60s, and 70s, focus on hip flexibility and abdominal and spinal stability that will sustain you to be able to pick up at 30 pound weight at that age. 

Second, Focus on Moving: Attia says “If you’re starting from zero, just getting to 90 minutes a week of exercise will result in a 15 percent reduction in all-cause mortality [including the Four Horsemen]. That’s dramatic. I mean, we don’t have drugs that can reduce 15 percent all-cause mortality across the board. And the good news is it’s not just like this abstract thing of “we’re adding a couple of years to your life.” No, no. You’re going to feel better in three months.”

Life Kit is a podcast produced by NPR. They believe everyone needs a little help being a human. From sleep to saving money to parenting and more, they talk to the experts to get the best advice out there. Recently, three of their contributors, Becky Harlan, Sylvie Douglis, and Andee Tagle asked professional advice-givers the question “What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?” Below are their answers, but feel free to read the full article at https://www.npr.org/2023/02/19/1157287474/best-life-advice-tips

• ‘There’s more than one way to do something’ – I remember scrubbing a pan when I was maybe 8 or 9 years old. There was something stuck on the pan that wouldn’t come off, and I just kept scrubbing it. My dad stopped me, grabbed a fork and just scraped it off. And he looked at me and said, “Jody, there’s more than one way to do something.” From that moment on, I’ve been looking at every problem in my life like how can I do this a different way? — Jody Adewale, clinical psychologist.
• ‘The hate will come at the same rate as the love’ – The best advice I ever received was that the hate will come at the same rate as the love. There will always be people who are so dissatisfied with themselves that they have to project that onto other people. And instead of trying to focus on the negativity, I tend to try to put more energy into the people and the things that are showing me love, support and good energy. — Kiaundra Jackson, marriage and family therapist
• ‘Do smaller loads of laundry’ – I used to work at a small grocery store, and before moving away to college, I asked the store manager, “What’s the No. 1 thing that I need to know about going away to college?” And he said, “Do smaller loads of laundry. Your clothes will come out cleaner.” — Shaun Galanos, a relationship coach and host of The Love Drive podcast
• ‘Being vulnerable means taking off our armor’ – I was talking with my therapist about how I didn’t mind being vulnerable as long as I knew the other person would be warm, that they wouldn’t judge and all of that. And she said, “that’s not vulnerable. Being vulnerable means taking off our armor and going in not knowing how we’ll be received, but putting ourselves out there a little bit anyway.” — Tania Israel, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara
• ‘Go where the energy goes’ – The best piece of advice I ever received was “Go where the energy goes.” What has good vibes? What makes you feel good about yourself? Where is that good energy? Head in that direction. — Betty Who, pop star and the host of the reality dating series, “The One That Got Away”
• ‘It’s not all about you’ – The best piece of advice I was given was, “Shanita, it’s not all about you.” When I’m in a situation where a tough decision has to be made and it feels personal, I remind myself it’s not all about me, and that I’m one piece of a bigger universe that’s at play right now. — Shanita Williams, career coach and the author of Feedback Mentality
• Expect yourself to change – We all change every five years or so. More or less, we have to expect ourselves to change, and we have to expect people in our lives to change. That little piece of advice has given me a lot of space for room and for growth. — Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, a financial therapist and host of the Mind Money Balance podcast
• ‘When people show you who they are, believe them’ – When people show you who they are, believe them. Far too often, I have seen us try to recreate who we want people to be, only to later find out they are exactly what they’ve been demonstrating. — Nedra Glover Tawwab, licensed therapist and the author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace.
• Pace out your self-improvement – Don’t be so overly involved with your self-improvement. Accept the gifts and abilities that you have, and don’t spend so much time trying to develop new ones that you sacrifice your gifts. Be yourself. — David Defoe, a psychotherapist who specializes in depression, anxiety and grief
• It’s OK to say ‘I don’t know’ – Something I’ve benefited a lot from is telling yourself, “I don’t know. And that’s exactly where I should be when I take that first step.” I’m as ready as I ever will be. I’m going to do it, and I’ll know more after. — Becky Kennedy, clinical psychologist and author of Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

Racing thoughts at bedtime can be a real sleep disruptor, leading to intermittent wakefulness throughout the night but luckily there are ways to clear your head before you lay it down on your pillow.

Recently, the folks at Calm looked at why this happens. Common causes include Life stressors: Whether it’s stress from work, family, or financial situations, daytime worries have a habit of reappearing at night. Anxiety and panic disorders: For some, these continuous thoughts might be a symptom of a bigger issue, like an anxiety disorder. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): OCD might cause recurring, unwanted thoughts. Caffeine: That afternoon coffee might be the reason you’re awake at night. Caffeine can stay in the system for hours, preventing your brain from relaxing for sleep. Fear of sleeplessness: If you’re worried about not getting enough sleep, this sleep anxiety can make you hyper-aware, with thoughts zooming around your alert brain. Over time, this cycle can lead to insomnia.

Want to learn more about what to about it? Check out Calm’s full article and practices at https://blog.calm.com/blog/racing-thoughts-at-night

Bots and corporations excluded, there are 4.9 billion social media users globally, meaning 60.49% of the global population use social media. That is unsurprising given that there are nitch networks for just about everyone in addition the the giants like Facebook and Twitter (now X). But what is social media usage doing for our wellness? It may differ by generation and, in some regards, we are not entirely sure.

Take adolescents as an example. The New York Times recently summarized the state of the science for this group and, yes, social media is of concern because the rapidly developing adolescent brain may be uniquely vulnerable to what the platforms have to offer. But the science is not nearly as settled as some of the most dire headlines would make it seem. Biologically, during adolescence, neuronal signals do not always travel through the brain rapidly enough to help kids regulate their emotions and impulses as mylnation continues to occur, and likewise, the prefrontal cortex, responsible for tasks like weighing, consequences and planning is still maturing. But extant researcher has yet to show any kind of consistent causal connection between social media use and poor mental health outcomes is difficult as a function of their unique needs or biological vulnerabilities. So why are mental health-related E.R. visits are up, and why is anxiety skyrocketing as social media bombards kids with unrealistic academic and health messages, dangerous and deadly challenges, and disinformation? As ever, the message is complicated.

Like many things, social media is not inherently good or bad. Rather, the changes happening in adolescents’ brains may make them particularly drawn to these platforms and more susceptible to the potential pitfalls. When tweens start obsessing about their social lives — talking endlessly about their peers and who sits at the “popular table” — that is a sign that they are maturing normally. But now, adolescents are experiencing those changes in an online world that is creating the opportunity for reward and social feedback incessantly, almost 24/7. And that’s a combination to be concerned about for teens.

The moral of the story? It is important to talk to our children early and often about the function that social media is playing in their lives but not just emphasizing the negatives. Encourage them to build meaningful connections, but also encourage them to diversify how they are connecting on and offline. How do we promote teen wellness in the digital age? Here are some tips offered by Children’s Hospital of Orange County:

• Encourage teens to be involved in a variety of free-time activities, like spending time with friends, joining clubs or after-school activities, and exercising.
• Encourage your teen to be physically active every day and get enough sleep.
• Turn off all screens during meals and at least an hour before bedtime.
• Keep devices with screens out of your teen’s bedroom after bedtime and don’t allow a TV in your teen’s bedroom.
• Spend time together with your teen watching TV, playing games or going online. Use this time as a chance to talk and learn together.
• Teach your teen about safe Internet and social media use. Make sure they know the dangers of sharing private information online, cyberbullying or sexting.
• Set a good example. Turn off TVs and other screens when not in use. Don’t leave screens on in the background. Turn off or mute your phone when you’re not using it and during family times, like meals.

Coffee is everywhere at Cooper and society at large. In Starbucks, break rooms, public spaces, the delicious drink has been ubiquitous throughout human history. But how much is too much? Coffee is linked with lots of health benefits, but there are some risks to consider from the caffeine it contains.

Alice Callahan at the New York Times recently wrote a piece exploring the pros and cons of coffee consumption.

Most adults can safely consume 400 milligrams of caffeine — or the amount in about four eight-ounce cups of brewed coffee or six espresso shots — per day, according to the Food and Drug Administration. If you’re pregnant, the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends no more than 200 milligrams.

“Overall, coffee does more good than bad,” said Rob van Dam, a professor of exercise and nutrition sciences at the Milken Institute School of Public Health at George Washington University. But between your breakfast brew, lunchtime latte and afternoon espresso, is it possible to have too much? And if so, how can you tell?

Having too much caffeine can cause a racing heart, jitteriness, anxiousness, nausea or trouble sleeping, said Jennifer Temple, a professor of exercise and nutrition sciences at the University at Buffalo. It can also lead to headaches, acid reflux and, at high enough doses, even tremors or vomiting, said Dr. Adrienne Hughes, a medical toxicologist and an assistant professor of emergency medicine at Oregon Health and Science University.

Caffeine overdoses typically result from taking in too much caffeine from concentrated forms, such as powders or supplements, in a short period of time, she said. And in most cases, you would need to consume at least 10,000 milligrams of caffeine — or the equivalent of about 50 to 100 cups of coffee, depending on the strength — for it to be potentially fatal, Dr. Hughes said.

That said, if you’re prone to abnormal heart rhythms, or if you notice palpitations after having caffeine, you may be more sensitive to its effects and should not consume more than you’re used to, or ingest large doses from concentrated sources, like supplements or energy shots, Dr. Hughes said. And having too much caffeine while pregnant is associated with an increased risk of miscarriage, Dr. van Dam said.

At the end of the day, “you just kind of have to listen to your body,” Dr. Temple said. “If you’re starting to feel nauseous or jittery or anxious, maybe cut back,” she said. “If it’s affecting your sleep, cut back.”

Read the full article at https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/26/well/eat/coffee-benefits-caffeine-risks.html

Jancee Dunn is the Well columnist for the New York Times and, for over two decades, has written about health for a variety of publications in addition to being a New York Times bestselling author of nine books. Recently she turned her attention to a common problem: how to stop thinking about work all the time. Rumination is a common issue, whether our focus is on work, relational problems, geopolitics, or anything else under the sun. Her full article can be read at https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/21/well/mind/work-stress-burnout-strategies.html and some tips for battling this phenomenon are listed below:

Keep a Journal – Experts suggest keeping a “rumination journal” to record the hours they devote to chewing over work issues each week. This can help orient you to how much time you are really dedicated to ruminating, which one can think of as hours as overtime for which you’re not getting paid.

Set Guardrails – Establish a clear line when your workday ends, and be strict about maintaining it. Ritualize your transition from job to home by changing your clothes, putting on music or taking a walk. Doing so not only erects a psychological boundary but it can also make us more likely to use that time to rest or connect with people in real life. Keep in mind that technology “empowers rumination” so if possible turn off your notifications for email and workplace messaging apps after a certain hour; if you must check them, do so at a designated time. And set a timer, so you don’t spend the rest of the night responding to messages.

Turn Ruminative Thoughts into Productive Ones – There’s evidence that ruminating about work during leisure time can affect our emotional well-being, but thinking about creative solutions to problems does not. So when you’re stewing ask yourself: “Is there something I can do about this situation? And if so, what?” Frame specific concerns as problems to be solved. Are you brooding that a new hire is performing better than you? Ask yourself what that person is doing well, and what he or she is not doing that you are.

Learn the Difference Between Unplugging and Recharging – Unplugging at the end of the day will not stop rumination, but recharging will. A recharging activity leaves you feeling energized mentally, and pleased with yourself for doing it. That can include activities like working out, crafting or meditation.

Distract Yourself – Distraction techniques have been shown to break the rumination cycle. If you can’t find a way to solve an issue doing something that requires focus, such as a crossword puzzle or a word game, can help. Or, if it’s the middle of the night, try a memory exercise, like naming every teacher you can remember from kindergarten on up.

Martinus Evans is a fitness influencer and the founder of the radically inclusive Slow AF Run Club. He calls himself proudly slow and has taken great pride in proving wrong the people who have underestimated him. Told by his doctors to lose weight or die, Martinus Evans decided to do something no one thought his body was capable of – run a marathon. His new book empowers would-be-runners to lace up, no matter what their size.

Since a doctor’s appointment over a decade ago where he was confronted with this, Evans has founded the Slow AF Run Club, a community of over 10,000 members worldwide, has been featured by the likes of The New York Times and Men’s Health and has even appeared on the cover of Runner’s World US. With 84K followers on Instagram – @300poundsandrunning – he’s become a voice for ‘back-of-the-packer’”, encouraging and empowering those who perhaps thought that running wasn’t really for them and campaigning around issues related to size-inclusivity.

Read more about Martinus’ inspirational story at https://www.runnersworld.com/uk/health/weight-loss/a44282905/martinus-evans/

Many of us have a near-constant internal monologue running in our head. Sometimes the content is as dull as listening to someone read the dictionary, other times it is joyful or entertaining, but all too often the content contains harsh criticisms toward ourselves. As Ethan Kross noted in a recent interview with NPR’s Life Kit this kind of negative self-talk can get in the way of creating strong relationships with ourselves and others. Researchers of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) have studied this phenomenon for some time, and much of CBT focuses on techniques such as Socratic questioning to begin to address this. In the above linked article, Kross and others summarize several of this techniques in six tips for quieting that harsh critic, summarized below.

• Get Perspective – Assessing a situation from different angles can help you avoid the unproductive thought loop that can prevent our ability to move on. Try coming up with as many different explanations for something that is bothering you, regardless of how unlikely they initially feel, then way the evidence for and against each.
• Be Your Own Best Friend – The next time you’re tempted to disparage your looks or criticize your decision-making, ask yourself: would I talk this way to my best friend? If not, practice using the same kind and gentle language that we use with the people we love, because we’re also people who we hopefully love, right?
• SIFT – The acronym SIFT (source, impact, frequency and trends), developed by research scientist Mike Caulfield, can help you figure out whether you should listen to feedback from others or just ignore it. Say someone calls you out for poor email communication. Did that criticism come from someone you trust and value? Is it demanding a big change or a minor tweak to your behavior? Is this something you’ve heard from other people? And have you heard this from different communities in your life, or just at work? Consider these points before deciding to act.
• Focus – The mind is a tricky thing. It can lead us to fixate, for example, on one bad aspect of a year-end review from a manager instead of their positive feedback. This is called “negativity bias,” says Yale psychology professor Woo-kyoung Ahn, and it illustrates our propensity to weigh negative events a lot more heavily than an equal amount of positive events. This “thinking error,” she says, is dangerous because it can lead us to make the wrong choices. Find out how to counteract this bias here.
• Talk It Out – If someone you love is causing you distress, don’t be afraid to communicate with them about it, says psychologist Adia Gooden. It may help clear up any assumptions you may have and offer new perspectives about the incident. For example, instead of jumping to conclusions if your partner is always on their phone at dinnertime, you might say to them: “Because you’re always on your phone, I feel like you don’t think I’m worthy of your attention,” says Gooden. “And they might say, ‘Oh, shoot, I didn’t mean to be on my phone. Or, you know, I’ve been kind of frustrated with you and I didn’t know how to bring it up. So I’ve been looking at my phone instead of making eye contact. Let’s talk.”
• Focus on Growth – Instead of defining yourself by your failures or limitations, consider every loss as part of your learning process. This idea, developed by psychologist Carol Dweck, is called a “growth mindset,” and it can help bolster that internal dialogue when you’ve taken an L and can’t stop kicking yourself about it. Let’s say you lose a round of pool. Those with a fixed mindset, she says, think that talent and intelligence are static: I give up, I’ll never get good at this! Growth-minded people believe that effort can lead to mastery: Hey! I’m getting a lot better at putting some power behind the ball! It’s all about finding the right perspective.

Matthieu Ricard is an ordained Buddhist monk and an internationally best-selling author of books about altruism, animal rights, happiness and wisdom. Recently, he was interviewed by David Marchese at the New York Times interviewed him. While you can read the full piece at here, within the article Ricard shares some rules for a fulfilled life, however one of the most meaning exchanges between Ricard and Marchese is summarized here after Marchese asks if Ricard, a peaceful monk, ever feels despair:

Marchese: “Your response to my question about despair was, “There’s no point,” which suggests that you’re making conscious choices about your feelings — whether to follow them or not — based on their perceived value. That’s not something everyone is able to do. Short of also becoming a Buddhist monk, how might other people start developing the ability to control their emotions like you can?”

Ricard: “Emotions are just like any characteristic of our mental landscape: They can change. We can become more familiar with their process; we can catch them early. It’s like when you see a pickpocket in a room: Aha, be careful. Twenty-five hundred years of contemplative science and 40 years of neuroplasticity — everything tells you we can change. You were not born knowing how to write your columns. You know it’s the fruit of your efforts. So why would major human qualities be engraved in stone from the start? That would be a total exception to every other skill we have. That’s why I like the idea of Richard Davidson’s that happiness is a skill. It can be deeper, more present in your mental landscape. We deal with our mind from morning to evening, but we spend very little attention on improving the way we translate outer conditions, good or bad, into happiness or misery. And it’s crucial, because that’s what determines our day-to-day experience of the world!”

Maureen Salamon is the Executive Editor at Harvard Women’s Health Watch. She recently penned a piece looking at the importance of validation. As she writes, validation is fundamental to a type of talk therapy called dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which is geared toward people who experience emotions very intensely. Many people use some aspects of validation in everyday communications with family members, friends, and colleagues, but usually fall short, Jordan-Arthur says. As she said, people “jump into problem-solving, saying something validating, but then immediately tell the person what they should have done or what they should do next,” she says. “They don’t let that validation sink in. It’s like putting on anti-itch cream and then immediately washing it off.”

So how can you offer good validation? Salamon suggests starting with the following for validating another person:

• Give them your full attention.
• Make eye contact and nod appropriately, saying “uh huh” while showing your interest.
• Reflect what you’ve heard by restating their message, such as, “It sounds like you feel worse about this situation today than yesterday.”
• Verbalize the unspoken, such as, “I hear that you feel you can’t get anything done because of this obstacle,” or “It sounds like you’re frustrated.”
• Give it time to work! Be sure to let the validation sink in before attempting to problem- solve.

Validation is an approach that can help people feel heard and understood, validation is especially useful when navigating emotionally charged situations. Validating someone shows you understand their feelings and point of view, even when you disagree. It establishes trust, helping the other person feel supported and open to discussing solutions.

Ready to learn more? Read Salamon full article at Harvard Health Publishing.

Christina Caron is a reporter for the Well section at The New York Times, covering mental health and the intersection of culture and health care. Recently she wrote a pice discussing how cultivating a grateful outlook, and taking a few minutes a day to count our blessings, can reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, increase self-esteem, and improve life satisfaction. Noting that, she asked her readers to tell her how they practice gratitude, and curated the nearly 800 responses she. received. Some of the best are highlighted below, but be sure to read the whole list and her entire article at nytimes.com. Then ask yourself, which of these might you be able to apply today?

• Record it. More than 100 respondents said that they use journals or apps like Day One, Gratitude Plus and Flavors of Gratefulness to keep track of the good things in their lives. “The best thing my therapist taught me was to record my ‘win’ every day,” said Elizabeth Chan, 35, who lives in San Antonio. “Doing so helped me develop my optimism muscles, which had atrophied for decades.”
• Walk It. Deborah Rathbun, 66, from Sharon, Conn., goes on a walk several times a week, always focusing on the beauty that surrounds her: “the blue of the sky, the leafy green trees, how the flag is moving nobly in the breeze, a drizzle that’s badly needed for the gardens.” Next, she reflects on the last 24 hours and thinks about the “very small things that went well or I’m pleased about.” It might be a friendly or funny exchange with a cashier or the thoughtful text she finally sent to a friend.
• Give thanks as a group. Louise Miller, 52, from Boston, said she writes her gratitude list in a journal and then texts the list to a group of friends who also share theirs. “They almost always include something that inspires more gratitude in me — it’s contagious!” she said. Zach Ford, 33, a Brooklyn resident, said he has been following a near-daily gratitude practice since his first weeks of sobriety about six years ago. Each morning he shares his gratitude list in an email with a handful of others.

Research has shown it to help with everything from anxiety and depression to better sleep, lower stress levels and chronic pain relief. In a recent New York Times article, health and wellness writer Holly Burns reviewed why incorporating a mindfulness practice into your daily life can be beneficial, and how to get started.

She suggests starting small, with five minutes of breathing exercises to calm and focus the mind every morning. Not only will it “set the tone for the day,” said Dr. Eva Tsuda, a meditation instructor at the UMass Memorial Health Center for Mindfulness, but meditating earlier may make the practice easier to stick to.

Burns offers a few additional suggestions and things to consider as you get started. These include deciding on a specific, quiet place where you are unlikely to be interrupted. Once you do so, set a timer, again, for as little as 5 minutes and go in without expectations of “success.” Just noticing what that 5 minutes is like is a good start. If you need some place to rest your focus during these 5 minutes, see if you can simply describe your breath or what you are noticing via your 5 senses. A grounding exercise is a good place to start. You can read her full article at https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/21/well/mind/meditation-morning-practice.html. Or, if you are looking for some help getting started, try a different, brief exercise via any one of many playlists available on YouTube.

This year’s Pride Month spans from Thu, Jun 1, 2023 – Fri, Jun 30, 2023. Born out of the Stonewall riots, this is meant to be a time dedicated to celebrate and commemorate the ongoing work and legacy of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people everywhere. Year round, and especially this month, Pride Month is meant to both honor the movement for LGBT rights and celebrates LGBT culture. To that end, the wellness blog will focus this month on content relevant to promoting wellness in the LGBTA+ community, and we start with a story published by Margot Harris at NAMI entitled “Being Queer is Joyful,” which describes her coming out story, a discussion of privilege, and her hope the future. Please be sure to read this piece at https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/June-2023/Being-Queer-is-Joyful.

While it may seem like we just rang in the new year, the unofficial start of summer is slowly creeping up on us. And while you might not think Minneapolis when you think summer, the good folks at the University of Minnesota have put together some great tips for a season of wellness! These tips are summarized below, but be sure to check out their full summer of wellness site at https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/summer-wellbeing.

Explore new foods: Expand your palate by trying new recipes that include seasonal foods you can’t get year-round. You can visit local farmer’s markets for fresh ingredients, or harvest your own veggies at home. Take advantage of the long sunny evenings while they’re here and grill healthy options outside. [Learn More]

Exercise outdoors: If the weather is pleasant and you have the ability to get outside, do it. If you’re tired of going for a jog, think outside the box of a traditional workout. Mowing the lawn with a push mower, gardening, or swimming at a local pool are all great ways to move your body while soaking up some sunshine. [Learn More]

Get better rest: Long, sunny days may mean you stay up later than usual, and hot, sticky weather can also prevent you from falling into a deep slumber. Make your bedroom summer-friendly by keeping it cool with a fan or open window (experts recommend about 68 degrees Fahrenheit), hanging light-blocking curtains, and relaxing before bed by putting away your phone and reading a few pages of a new novel. [Learn More]

Catch up with loved ones: This summer, double your wellbeing by spending time with the people you care about while doing nature-based activities you can’t do during colder months, such as visiting a beach or eating dinner outside. Funnel your energy toward staying connected even when your schedules don’t match up—if you go out of town, send handwritten postcards to let friends know you are thinking of them. [Learn More]

Ease stress with mindfulness: Even if you go on vacation to a tropical destination, even if you plan on summer to be completely relaxing, there will undoubtedly be situations that cause stress. But that’s not a problem. Rather than putting an expectation on the season to bring a sense of calm, cultivate it yourself. Being in nature is one of the best ways to unwind from stress. Take a few minutes each day—maybe right when you wake up in the morning—to step outside and simply enjoy the outdoors as a child would. Drop thoughts of any plans for the day and simply notice the green of the grass and trees, the feeling of a breeze on your skin, and the sound of birds and other animals. [Learn More]

The New York Times’ Christina Caron recently published a piece reviewing advice given by the Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy, on how to build meaningful social connections in an increasingly lonely world.

Americans have become increasingly lonely and isolated, and this lack of social connection is having profound effects on our mental and physical health, the surgeon general warned in an advisory on Tuesday.

Advisories from America’s top doctor are typically reserved for public health challenges that require immediate attention. This is the first time one has been used to highlight the issue of loneliness.

More than half of Americans are lonely, according to a 2021 poll, which also found that young adults are almost twice as likely to report feeling lonely as those over age 65.

So what can one do? Dr. Murthy’s advice is summarized here, if you interested, learn more at https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/02/well/mind/loneliness-isolation-surgeon-general.html

Reconnect with people. To get started, take 15 minutes each day to contact a friend or a relative. Put a reminder in your calendar, if needed, so that it remains a priority. Your relationships cannot thrive unless they are nurtured.

Minimize distractions. How often have you caught yourself looking at your phone while someone is speaking with you? What about during meals? Do other people do this when speaking with you? For more satisfying quality time, put the devices down and give your full attention.

When people call, pick up the phone. Imagine your phone ringing. You see it’s a call from your best friend from college whom you haven’t caught up with in a long time. But instead of accepting the call, you decide not to answer. You tell yourself you’ll call back later when you have more time to chat.

Serve others. Studies show that volunteering can ease feelings of loneliness and broaden our social networks. Consider donating your time to an organization in your community, or offering to help your family, co-workers or friends.

Get help. Finally, tell someone if you are struggling with loneliness. It could be a relative, a friend, a counselor or a health care provider.

What does optimism do for us? In a study conducted by Ciro Conversano and colleagues at the University of Siena in Italy evidence was presented that of a strong relation between optimism wellbeing. Through the use of specific coping strategies, optimism influences both mental and physical well-being by the promotion of a healthy lifestyle as well as by adaptive behaviors and cognitive responses, is associated with greater flexibility, as well as problem-solving capacities.

So how do we cultivate optimism? Carmen Drahl at National Public Radio asked that very question to her readers and listeners. Below are some tips from everyday people on how they stay optimistic in trying times:

• Humor continues to be one of the things that gives me hope. No matter how hard life can get, there are always people who find a way to make things feel lighter. It could be as simple as silly viral animal videos or the more complex comedy that contextualizes our lives in the broader arc of history. Either way, we as humans tend to know when we need to break the tension and give ourselves a mental reset. –Eric Conrad, Washington, D.C. | 101 Good Clean Jokes
  
• I try to keep in mind how little control or influence I have to change the state of the country (and world) and let go of the feeling of responsibility. I do what I can and understand that change is slow. One of the greatest gifts of getting old is knowing how little power you have in the grand scheme of things. It relieves you of the feeling that you have to DO something and the frustration and anger that goes with it. –Mary Theresa McCarty, Halfmoon, N.Y.
  
• To remain optimistic I have to deliberately and regularly make room for my grief. If I acknowledge this weight I carry it can be a tool. It will still cripple me occasionally because burying a trans child is just that hard, but I can also fight for change if I bring my grief with me. – Carrie Black, Salt Lake City, Utah
  
• I am Buddhist and there is a meditation that helps me: You elect to feel hopelessness or lovelessness as a way of empathizing with others who feel these things. So when I feel hopeless or sad or overwhelmed, I can think, “I am going to fully let myself feel this because this is what hopelessness feels like, what millions of others have felt, going back millennia.” Ironically, framing it this way actually feels more connected, more human, more manageable. –Kristin Harriman, Sacramento, Calif.
  
• One of my favorite books is Garth Stein’s The Art of Racing in the Rain. I remind myself, as the book states, “The car goes where your eyes go.” It’s so important, especially as the news cycle is full of cruelty and suffering, for us to carefully choose what we read, listen to, pay attention to. The car, my brain, goes where my eyes go — so I need to keep looking at hopeful art and look for joy in the children I love and remind myself to keep watching for good things. I see more of them this way! -Naomi Krokowski, Berthoud, Colo.

• Doing something for someone else is my all time high — it always lifts me. –Dianne Oelberger, St George, Maine
  
• I read a single poem every morning. There is hope in the verse or between the lines, something else to drift on, beyond the headlines. –Mark Karason, Pittsburgh, Pa.
  
• Music in particular kickstarts me and really helps me articulate my feelings in both subconscious and conscious ways. I like to have active listening sessions throughout the day. But what helps me the most is listening to music in bed in the early morning before doing anything else. It puts my mind in a place of zen and allows me to be the best version of myself that day to radiate positive energy not only within, but to the surrounding world as well. –Sean Nguyen, Seattle, Wash.
  
• My favorite technique for getting happy is definitely playing loud techno music (or other very rhythmic dance songs), and freestyle dancing in my living room. –Robin McMillan, North Port, Fla.
  
• When I’m feeling stressed, I take a walk outside in the sun or in a green space like a park or a forest. Despite the noise in my head, the sounds of nature, including those of birds, wind and rain, comfort me. –Whayoung Cha, Seoul, South Korea
  
• Early spring walk under blooming cherry trees with daughter Analesa, beloved pup Rosko and warmth of the sun on my face. –Cassandra Zimmerman, Portland, Ore.
  
• The way I stay optimistic is waking up early to watch the sunrise and meditate on where I find light in the darkness. There are great things of beauty and peace in this world. –Michelle Middleton, Reno, Nev.
  
• For 30 years, I have volunteered with a nonprofit whose mission is to teach gardening to home gardeners throughout our community. I feel constantly renewed by the generosity and energy of the people I volunteer with. While I often feel overwhelmed by the magnitude and variety of troubles in our world, I am also mindful of the abundant blessings that fill my life. I cannot stop war or famine on a global scale, but I can teach a family how to grow food — and flowers. –Robbie Cranch, Fresno, Calif.
  
• I find my source of joy in nature. I salute the sun every morning and affirm the blessings of the five elements: the earth, space, sun, air and water. When I recognize that my body was born from these five elements, I feel a deep kinship with nature, our womb. I talk to the trees, recognizing their generosity and strength. –Pankaja Cauligi, Mysore, India

As we welcome in April we look forward to longer and warmer days, the blooming of our favorite plants, and the return of baseball. Nestled in there alongside those things is Autism Acceptance Month. There has been a shift of late from Autism Awareness to Autism Acceptance, and for good reason. As one advocate, who themselves are on the spectrum, shared “Awareness is focused on shortcomings or deficits. Acceptance is focused on what you’re good at and what can you do for yourself. Awareness means you can identify a neurodiversity. Acceptance means you’re able to talk to neurodiverse individuals and gain understanding and compassion.”

So as we move into AAM we wanted to highlight the unique ways in which we can promote wellness in the Autism community, today starting with sleep. Whether you are a member of the Cooper community with an Autism diagnosis or you care for someone with Autism keep in mind that navigating life gets a bit easier when we have good sleep! So here are some thoughts on promoting sleep-related wellness across the Autism Spectrum.

Researchers have extensively researched sleep and its influence on health, behavior and other areas of life for those with Autism. Many kids, teens, and adults with autism have problems sleeping which can be hard on the them and those with whom they live. Some have trouble falling and staying asleep, or wake up too early and have a hard time getting back to sleep.

Problems sleeping happen more often in the setting of the restricted and repetitive behaviors common in ASD, as well as secondary to anxiety, or sensory problems that are often common on the spectrum. Watching TV, videos, or playing on the computer, especially if the shows are very stimulating (highly humorous, intentionally frightening) can lead anyone, especially those living with ASD, to having more trouble sleeping. Fixing this usually starts with gathering data and trying some of the most common solutions related to the problem, whether you are experiencing this yourself or trying to help a loved one.

Sleep Resources

ATN/AIR-P Strategies to Improve Sleep in Children with Autism Parent Booklet and Quick Tips
This informational booklet is designed to provide parents with strategies to improve sleep in their child affected by autism spectrum disorders (ASD). The suggestions in this tool kit are based on both research and clinical experience of sleep experts.

ATN/AIR-P Sleep Strategies for Teens with Autism
Many teens with autism have difficulty with sleep, which can affect their daytime functioning, as well as that of their families. This tool kit is designed to provide parents with strategies to improve sleep in their teens affected by autism. It helps tackle the problems of falling asleep and staying asleep through the night. 

ATN/AIR-P Melatonin and Sleep Problems: A Guide for Parents
Melatonin is a common medicine your doctor or healthcare provider may suggest to help improve sleep. This tool kit is designed to provide you with information about melatonin and help you decide if trying melatonin is right for you child.

Download a one-page overview on sleep for quick tips you can use at home.

Establishing Good Sleep Hygiene

Carin Lamm, MD is Associate Clinical Professor of Pediatrics Diplomate American Academy of Sleep Medicine and Director Pediatric Sleep Disorders Center Columbia University Medical Center and shares the below regarding sleep and Autism:

1. Sleep environment: the bedroom should be dark, quiet and cool. As those with ASD might be particularly sensitive to noises and/or have sensory issues, the environment should be adapted to make sure one is as comfortable as possible.
   
2. Bedtime routine: the routine should be predictable, relatively short (20 – 30 minutes) and include relaxing activities such as reading or listening to quiet music. Avoid the use of electronics close to bedtime such as TV, computer, video games etc. that can be stimulating making it difficult for individuals to fall asleep.
   
3. Sleep\wake schedule: the schedule should be regular with not much of a difference between the weekday and weekend schedule.
   
4. Exercise: Daytime exercise can make it easier to fall asleep and those who exercise tend to have deeper sleep. Avoid exercising too close to bedtime as it can make it difficult to fall asleep.
   
5. Avoid caffeine particularly close to bedtime, which can be alerting making it difficult for people to fall asleep. Caffeine is found not only in coffee, but also in tea, chocolate and some sodas.
   
6. Naps – avoid them at all costs! While a good nap can be needed from time to time, over-reliance on this can perpetuate sleep problems.

It is important to address medical or psychiatric issues that potentially interfere with sleep. Medications might need adjustment if they affect sleep. If one suffers from a sleep disorder such as sleep apnea, sleep walking, sleep terrors, restless legs syndrome, they may need a referral to a sleep specialist. Some with persistent insomnia will need further behavioral or pharmacological treatment to improve their sleep.

In summary, although sleep problems are common those with ASD they often can be helped. Better sleep for these children can potentially improve their daytime functioning as well as the sleep of family members.

Hard to believe, but March has flown by and we are ready to welcome April and the renewal that comes with Spring! If you are looking for some help shaking off the last remaining blues that may have come with a long, dreary winter consider checking out calm.com’s April Calm Calendar. As they share on their site, “The Calm Calendar is an invitation to meet your life with presence and curiosity. Our daily prompts serve as encouragement to learn more about yourself and the world through the lens of mental health, mindfulness, and wellbeing. It’s not about getting it right, but rather checking in with yourself, deepening your awareness and supporting yourself through each step of your journey.”

Remember, growth comes one small step at a time. Ready for the first step, download the calendar below or at calm.com!

Recently, Becky Harlan, Sylvie Douglis, and Andee Tagle published a piece on “Life Kit”, NPR’s advice column where experts answer your most pressing and personal anonymous questions. The authors provided 10 indispensable pieces of advice to help shape habits that can directly contribute to improved wellness. These tips are offered below, and the full article can be read at https://www.npr.org/2023/02/19/1157287474/best-life-advice-tips

1. ‘There’s more than one way to do something’ – I remember scrubbing a pan when I was maybe 8 or 9 years old. There was something stuck on the pan that wouldn’t come off, and I just kept scrubbing it. My dad stopped me, grabbed a fork and just scraped it off. And he looked at me and said, “Jody, there’s more than one way to do something.” From that moment on, I’ve been looking at every problem in my life like how can I do this a different way? — Jody Adewale, clinical psychologist Sponsor Message
2. ‘The hate will come at the same rate as the love’ – The best advice I ever received was that the hate will come at the same rate as the love. There will always be people who are so dissatisfied with themselves that they have to project that onto other people. And instead of trying to focus on the negativity, I tend to try to put more energy into the people and the things that are showing me love, support and good energy. — Kiaundra Jackson, marriage and family therapist A behavioral scientist’s advice for changing your life LIFE KIT A behavioral scientist’s advice for changing your life
3. ‘Do smaller loads of laundry’ – I used to work at a small grocery store, and before moving away to college, I asked the store manager, “What’s the No. 1 thing that I need to know about going away to college?” And he said, “Do smaller loads of laundry. Your clothes will come out cleaner.” — Shaun Galanos, a relationship coach and host of The Love Drive podcast
4. ‘Being vulnerable means taking off our armor’ – I was talking with my therapist about how I didn’t mind being vulnerable as long as I knew the other person would be warm, that they wouldn’t judge and all of that. And she said, “that’s not vulnerable. Being vulnerable means taking off our armor and going in not knowing how we’ll be received, but putting ourselves out there a little bit anyway.” — Tania Israel, a professor of psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara Sponsor Message
5. ‘Go where the energy goes’ – The best piece of advice I ever received was “Go where the energy goes.” What has good vibes? What makes you feel good about yourself? Where is that good energy? Head in that direction. — Betty Who, pop star and the host of the reality dating series, “The One That Got Away” Need A Career Change? Here’s The Best Job Advice We’ve Heard On Life Kit LIFE KIT Need A Career Change? Here’s The Best Job Advice We’ve Heard On Life Kit
6. ‘It’s not all about you’ – The best piece of advice I was given was, “Shanita, it’s not all about you.” When I’m in a situation where a tough decision has to be made and it feels personal, I remind myself it’s not all about me, and that I’m one piece of a bigger universe that’s at play right now. — Shanita Williams, career coach and the author of Feedback Mentality
7. Expect yourself to change – We all change every five years or so. More or less, we have to expect ourselves to change, and we have to expect people in our lives to change. That little piece of advice has given me a lot of space for room and for growth. — Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, a financial therapist and host of the Mind Money Balance podcast Dear Life Kit: My husband is living under COVID lockdown. I’m ready to move on DEAR LIFE KIT Dear Life Kit: My husband is living under COVID lockdown. I’m ready to move on
8. ‘When people show you who they are, believe them’ – When people show you who they are, believe them. Far too often, I have seen us try to recreate who we want people to be, only to later find out they are exactly what they’ve been demonstrating. — Nedra Glover Tawwab, licensed therapist and the author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace
9. Pace out your self-improvement – Don’t be so overly involved with your self-improvement. Accept the gifts and abilities that you have, and don’t spend so much time trying to develop new ones that you sacrifice your gifts. Be yourself. — David Defoe, a psychotherapist who specializes in depression, anxiety and grief
10. It’s OK to say ‘I don’t know’ Something – I’ve benefited a lot from is telling yourself, “I don’t know. And that’s exactly where I should be when I take that first step.” I’m as ready as I ever will be. I’m going to do it, and I’ll know more after. — Becky Kennedy, clinical psychologist and author of Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

Dr. Sarah Pressman is an award winning Assistant Professor of Psychology and Social Behavior in the School of Social Ecology at the University of California, Irvine. Dr. Pressman’s work seeks to understand how positive emotions are beneficial for objective physical health and longevity. In her 2015 TED Talk, Dr. Pressman shares research from her lab about why doctors should care about happiness in their patients.

Recently, Rittu Sinha at Forbes penned an article that contrasts the difference between what we saw as a culture about women and wellness, and the types of attitudes we foster about this topic. She shared that “As the World Health Organization reminds us, “The health, well-being and needs of half the world’s population cannot be treated as an afterthought.” However, for most of my own life, I never took the time to figure out how feminism actually sat with me. It was only in the last decade I that came to the realization that although I am not inclined toward “femininity,” I am a feminist (these questionnaires helped me clarify my thinking). Where does feminism intersect with women’s health? In short, in every area—physical, mental, emotional, environmental, existential and spiritual, which are all places I champion. Many women even today put their health on a back burner for years of their life. When we’re in this space, we consider our own needs to be less important than those of others (spouses, partners, kids, parents).”

Read Rittu’s full article on the hows and whys of fixing inequities that limit women’s wellness at https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2022/10/25/how-and-why-women-can-and-should-prioritize-their-wellness/ 

Need help getting your random acts going? Here are six ideas to get your imagination going!

Bring treats to work

Next time you’re on the way to work, grab your coworkers some coffee or pastries. 

Show local businesses some love

It’s no secret that we love our local businesses. Next time you stop by your go-to spots, tip generously or write a positive review. You can also combine this and the previous, get you coffee and donuts from a local shop!

Plant native species

Add some green to your community by planting native species. Use the National Wildlife Federation’s Native Plant Finder to start your search.

Help our furry friends

Consider fostering or adopting a furry friend in need of a home, or volunteer at a local shelter, details available through Camden County. You can also donate monetarily or drop off blankets, toys, food, and supplies.

Volunteer with local organizations

Check out some local volunteer opportunities through Camden County at Volunteer Match.

Gift something just because

Whether it’s to recognize a teacher or just surprise someone special in your life, we suggest some gifts from local shops. Check out this directory here.

Feel free to read the full article at https://www.nytimes.com/2022/09/02/well/family/random-acts-of-kindness.html

New research shows small gestures matter even more than we may think.

In late August, Erin Alexander, 57, sat in the parking lot of a Target store in Fairfield, Calif., and wept. Her sister-in-law had recently died, and Ms. Alexander was having a hard day.

A barista working at the Starbucks inside the Target was too. The espresso machine had broken down and she was clearly stressed. Ms. Alexander — who’d stopped crying and gone inside for some caffeine — smiled, ordered an iced green tea, and told her to hang in there. After picking up her order, she noticed a message on the cup: “Erin,” the barista had scrawled next to a heart, “your soul is golden.”

“I’m not sure I even necessarily know what ‘your soul is golden’ means,” said Ms. Alexander, who laughed and cried while recalling the incident.

But the warmth of that small and unexpected gesture, from a stranger who had no inkling of what she was going through, moved her deeply.

“Of course, I was still really sad,” Ms. Alexander said. “But that little thing made the rest of my day.”

New findings, published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology in August, corroborate just how powerful experiences like Ms. Alexander’s can be. Researchers found that people who perform a random act of kindness tend to underestimate how much the recipient will appreciate it. And they believe that miscalculation could hold many of us back from doing nice things for others more often.

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“We have this negativity bias when it comes to social connection. We just don’t think the positive impact of our behaviors is as positive as it is,” said Marisa Franco, a psychologist and author of “Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends,” who did not work on the recent research.

“With a study like this, I hope it will inspire more people to actually commit random acts of kindness,” she said.

Underestimating the power of small gestures

The recent study comprised eight small experiments that varied in design and participants. In one, for example, graduate students were asked to perform thoughtful acts of their own choosing, like giving a classmate a ride home from campus, baking cookies or buying someone a cup of coffee.

In another, researchers recruited 84 participants on two cold weekends at the ice skating rink at Maggie Daley Park in Chicago. They were given a hot chocolate from the snack kiosk and were told they could keep it or give it to a stranger as a deliberate act of kindness. The 75 participants who gave away their hot chocolate were asked to guess how “big” the act of kindness would feel to the recipient on a scale from 0 (very small) to 10 (very large), and to predict how the recipient would rate their mood (ranging from much more negative than normal to much more positive than normal) upon receiving the drink. The recipients were then asked to report how they actually felt using the same scales.

In that experiment — and across all others — the people doing the kind thing consistently underestimated how much it was actually appreciated, said one of the study’s authors, Amit Kumar, an assistant professor of marketing and psychology at the University of Texas, Austin.

“We believe these miscalibrated expectations matter for behavior,” he said. “Not knowing one’s positive impact can stand in the way of people engaging in these sorts of acts of kindness in daily life.”

Another experiment in the study was devised to help researchers better understand this tendency to underestimate the power of our own kind acts. In it, Dr. Kumar and his team recruited 200 participants in Maggie Daley Park. A control group of 50 participants received a cupcake simply for participating in the study and rated their mood. Another 50 people who did not receive a cupcake rated how they thought the receivers would feel after getting a cupcake.

A third group of 50 people were told they could give a cupcake away to strangers, and were asked to rate their own mood as well as how they believed the recipients would feel. Once again, the researchers found that those who got a cupcake as a result of a random act of kindness felt better than the person on the giving end thought they would.

Also, people who got a cupcake because of an act of kindness rated themselves higher on a happiness scale than those who got one simply for participating in the study, suggesting they got an emotional boost from the gesture, in addition to the cupcake itself.

“People tend to think that what they are giving is kind of little, maybe it’s relatively inconsequential,” Dr. Kumar said. “But recipients are less likely to think along those lines. They consider the gesture to be significantly more meaningful because they are also thinking about the fact that someone did something nice for them.”

How to show others you care

The notion that kindness can boost well-being is hardly new. Studies have shown that prosocial behavior — basically, voluntarily helping others — can help lower people’s daily stress levels, and that simple acts of connection, like texting a friend, mean more than many of us realize. But researchers who study kindness and friendship say they hope the new findings strengthen the scientific case for making these types of gestures more often.

“I have found that kindness can be a really hard sell,” said Tara Cousineau, a clinical psychologist, meditation teacher and author of “The Kindness Cure: How The Science of Compassion Can Heal Your Heart and Your World.” “People desire kindness yet often feel inconvenienced by the thought of being kind.”

Stress can also keep people from being kind to others, she said, as can the “little judgy voice” in people’s heads that causes them to question whether their gesture or gift will be misinterpreted, or whether it will make the recipient feel pressured to pay it back.

“When the kindness impulse arises,” Dr. Cousineau said, “we totally overthink it.”

But an act of kindness is unlikely to backfire, she said, and in some instances it can beget even more kindness. Jennifer Oldham, 36, who lost her 9-year-old daughter, Hallie, in July after a tree fell on the car she was in during a storm, recently created a Facebook group — Keeping Kindness for Hallie — that encourages participants to engage in random acts of kindness. People have bought groceries and baby formula for others in Hallie’s honor. They’ve donated school supplies and given hydrangeas to strangers.

“No small act goes unnoticed,” Ms. Oldham said. “It will help your own heart, maybe even more than the recipients.”

Sometimes, it is something much sillier. When Kimberly Britt, president of Phoenix College in Arizona, left for a week of vacation in July, her vice president of student affairs hid 60 rubber chickens in her office.

“She did it so I wouldn’t find them all immediately, and it did take me a while,” she said. “But it was meant to bring a smile to my day when I returned.”

It did, and has since inspired Dr. Britt to begin a random acts of kindness challenge on campus. They have recorded 200 acts of kindness so far: a teacher who went above and beyond to spend time with a student who was struggling emotionally, a staff member who brought food to the office, another who made coffee for all of their colleagues.

If you are not already in the habit of performing random kind acts — or if it does not come naturally to you — Dr. Franco said to start by thinking about what you like to do.

“It’s not about you being like, ‘Oh man, now I have to learn how to bake cookies in order to be nice,’” she said. “It’s about: What skills and talents do you already have? And how can you turn that into an offering for other people?”

Since 1949, the Mental Health Foundation has been the UK’s leading charity for everyone’s mental health. They take a public mental health approach to prevention, finding solutions for individuals, those at risk and for society, in order to improve everyone’s mental wellbeing. It is not surprising, then, that they have a thing or two to say about the benefits of kindness, and so we start Random Acts of Kindness Month by looking at their review of the health benefits of kindness. You can learn more at https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/about-us

The health benefits of kindness

• Helping others feels good – Research shows that acts of kindness are linked to increased feelings of well-being.  Helping others can also improve our support networks and encourage us to be more active.  This, in turn, can improve our self-esteem.  There is some evidence to suggest that when we help others, it can promote changes in the brain that are linked with happiness.
  
• It creates a sense of belonging and reduces isolation – Helping others is thought to be one of the ways that people create, maintain, and strengthen their social connections. For example, volunteering and helping others can help us feel a sense of belonging, make new friends, and connect with our communities.
  
• It helps to keep things in perspective – Many of us don’t realize the effect a different perspective can have on our outlook on life. There is some evidence that being aware of our own acts of kindness, as well as the things we are grateful for, can increase feelings of happiness, optimism and satisfaction. Doing good may also help us to have a more positive outlook on our own circumstances.
  
• It’s contagious – Acts of kindness can make the world a happier place for everyone. They can boost feelings of confidence, being in control, happiness and optimism. They may also encourage others to repeat the good deeds they’ve experienced themselves – contributing to a more positive community. 
  
• Helping others helps you – The benefits of helping others can last long after the act itself, for those who offer kindness, and those who benefit. This, in turn, can improve our self-esteem.

Harvard researchers recently published findings that suggest nurturing yourself in small ways can help ease burnout and exhaustion.

It’s hard to care about anything when you feel exhausted, burned out, or ragged around the edges. Your once-fiery enthusiasm may seem more like charred rubble due to overwhelming family responsibilities, a job that drains you, or financial struggles. Or maybe an illness, the uncertainty and disruptions of the age we live in, or a combination of factors has left you feeling as if you have precious little to give.

“What you’re experiencing is burnout. It’s real and it can lead to depression, anxiety, relationship damage, and an inability to function at home or at work,” says Dr. Marni Chanoff, an integrative psychiatrist with Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital.

Take heart: With time and effort, you can refill your cup, slowly adding back a bit of the energy and joie de vivre you’ve been missing. Here are three ways to start.

1. Carve out time for yourself

Taking time for yourself isn’t a luxury; it’s essential to self-care. “You need to slow down and give yourself the opportunity to rest and rejuvenate,” Dr. Chanoff says, “Schedule it if you have to, starting with 10 or 15 minutes, a couple of times a day.”

How can you reclaim precious minutes in an overly full schedule? “Look at your day, week, or month, and be discerning about how many things you say ‘yes’ to in one period of time. Give yourself permission to say ‘no thank you’ to things that deplete you or don’t serve you,” Dr. Chanoff says.

Protect yourself from the damage of chronic inflammation.

Science has proven that chronic, low-grade inflammation can turn into a silent killer that contributes to cardiovas­cular disease, cancer, type 2 diabetes and other conditions. Get simple tips to fight inflammation and stay healthy — from Harvard Medical School experts.LEARN MORE

View Protect yourself from the damage of chronic inflammation.

Make small moments count: choose what makes you feel at peace. For example, have a cup of tea, or simply lay a blanket or mat on the floor at home or work and lie on your back. Don’t look at your phone or email. “You want to tell your body to take a break. It helps you reset and back away when stress draws you in,” Dr. Chanoff explains.

2. Commit to better health

A strong body helps balance the stressful situations that have caused your burnout. The basic recipe for good health includes:

• Exercise. Moderate intensity exercise, the kind that works the heart and lungs, releases important chemicals that help regulate mood, sleep, and many body systems. Aim for at least 150 minutes of exercise per week, which amounts to about 22 minutes a day. Start with just a few minutes a day if it’s all you can do. It doesn’t have to be fancy. “It can be any movement that brings you joy, like dancing, yoga, or brisk walking,” Dr. Chanoff suggests.
• A good diet. Eating lots of junk food (typically full of sugar, salt, and unhealthy saturated fat) fuels chronic stress, fatigue, depression, and anxiety. Choose more unprocessed foods such as vegetables, fruits, whole grains, legumes, lean proteins (fish or poultry), and unsaturated fats (such as avocados or olive oil). If time is an issue, Chanoff suggests batch-cooking simple, healthy foods you can have several days of the week. (Lentil or bean soup is a good one-pot meal. Throw in as many vegetables as you can.)
• Sleep. Insufficient sleep affects overall health, concentration, and mood. Try to sleep seven to nine hours per night. “It helps to wind down an hour or two before you fall asleep. And practice good sleep hygiene: turn off your phone, keep your room cool and dark, and go to sleep and wake up at the same time each day,” Dr. Chanoff advises.

3. Surround yourself with comfort

Hygge (pronounced HOO-ga) is the Danish concept of cozy comfort that brings happiness and contentment. Folks in Denmark know a thing or two about finding sunshine in cold dark months.

To practice hygge, surround yourself with people, activities, and things that make you feel cozy, loved, happy, or content. Go simple: spend time with your favorite people, add a small vase of flowers to your space, don fuzzy slippers once home, eat a treasured comfort food, or listen to a favorite song.

More ideas to try:

• Light a candle.
• Get under a heated blanket.
• Frame a photo of a happy time.
• Have breakfast in bed.
• Use pretty table linens.
• Indulge in art (check out various works at museums online).
• Stand still outside to listen to the sounds of nature.
• Curl up in a cozy chair.
• Window-shop in your favorite store.
• Wear a soft sweater that feels good on your skin.
• Use a silk or satin pillowcase on your bed pillow.
• Take a warm bath.
• Get an oil diffuser with a scent that reminds you of a place you love, like the beach or a pine forest.

Pick one item from one section today and stick with it until you develop a new self-care habit. You might be surprised by how quickly things change!

Listen to the full story below, or read it at NPR.org.

Sending a text to a friend can bring a smile to your face. Now, research suggests it could also help bring long-term health benefits.

Psychiatrist Robert Waldinger and Psychologist Marc Schulz have spent decades studying what helps people thrive. Their research followed people through the decades, consulting with their parents and now their children, who are mostly of the baby boomer generation. They identified different kinds of happiness.

“We do like that sugar rush high, that ‘I’m having fun right now at this party’ kind of high. And then there’s the happiness that comes from feeling like, ‘I’m having a good life, a decent life, a meaningful life,” Waldinger explained. “We all want some of both, but some of us really prioritize one kind over the other kind.”

Their conclusion? Long term health and wellbeing comes down to one thing: investing in relationships with other people.

Waldinger emphasizes the importance of putting effort into friendships, saying that many valuable relationships can wither away from neglect. And even if you find yourself realizing that you may not have the connections you seek, today’s as good a day as any to start forming those bonds.

So if you’ve been prioritizing your well-being lately, and perhaps meaning to reach out to a friend, family member or loved one, it’s never too late to send a quick message and catch up.

For over 80 years, researchers at Harvard have studied what makes for a good life. They found one surefire, scientifically proven predictor of happiness: developing warmer relationships. A team of reporters on The Times’s health and wellness desk, Well, developed a self-paced challenge to help you do just that. Ready to start the new year right? Start below!

How Strong Are Your Relationships?

Relationships with friends, family, coworkers and even casual acquaintances play a crucial role in your well-being. Find out how robust your social ties are.

Day 1: Take Stock of Your Relationships

Today, you will identify the areas of your life in which you would like to be more connected.

Jan. 1, 2023

Day 2: The Secret Power of the 8-Minute Phone Call

Even a brief chat has measurable effects on our well-being.

Jan. 2, 2023

Day 3: Small Talk Has Big Benefits

Regular exchanges with your “weak ties” will bring you more happiness.

Jan. 3, 2023

Day 4: Why You Should Write a ‘Living Eulogy’

Happy people express their gratitude for others.

Jan. 4, 2023

Day 5: The Importance of Work Friends

People who are close to their colleagues are happier and more productive.

Jan. 5, 2023

Psychologist Angelica Attard has the following thoughts on resolutions headed into the new year: “The end of December represents a transition point. It is a time when people share their reflections on how the last year has gone, their joys and sorrows, and set resolutions in the hope that they will fare better in the new year. We hold on to a vision of a better year, a better us, a better future. New year, new start, new resolutions. The concept and implementation of resolutions can be hard for many to grapple with. If New Year’s resolutions do not work for you, I invite you to consider the idea of setting intentions and starting now.”

She suggests that, rather than resolutions, we consider setting intentions. Dr. Attard shares “Intentions are about who we want to be in the present moment and how we want to show up in our lives. Intentions are based on what our values are, i.e., what is important to us in different areas of our life, such as our physical health, mental health, career, hobbies, relationships with family, friends, partners, education. Intentions are different from goals because goals are about what we do. However, they are related because intentions give us a direction and will that empower us to set and achieve goals; to act and take decisions that honor the person we want to be based on what matters to us. This can enable us to live a meaningful life and have fulfilling relationships with others and ourselves in the present. Here are a few other points to consider regarding the traps that come with resolutions and how intentions can step in to help.”

You can read her full article at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/human-beings-being-human/202011/set-new-years-resolutions-or-live-intention-now. Below are some steps she outlines to begin the process of setting our intentions.

1. Set your intention at the start of the day (whilst you are still in bed and before the rush of the day begins).
2. Take a moment, slow down, and take a few deep breaths.
3. Check in with yourself. (How are you feeling? What thoughts are going through your mind?)
4. Check what you have planned for your day ahead.
5. Based on your state of mind and the plans for the day, think about what matters to you in how you face the day, what you need, what is going to help you. (Remember to think about this based on your values and what kind of person you want to be as you approach this day.)
6. Set your intention for the day using the language that works for you. Today I commit myself to… My intention is to approach the day with…
7. Write down your intention on paper or your phone or share it with another person. (This can make it feel more real.)
8. Set your mind, focus, and approach throughout the day towards this intention. (It is OK if you forget about your intention during the day. It is not really forgotten because your intentions are linked to your values and your values are always part of you.)
9. Find a moment to come back to your intention to reflect on how you lived by this. (The aim is not to judge yourself as good or bad or as having succeeded or failed. Rather, it is to acknowledge where you are at and learn about what you may want to carry forward to the next moment or to tomorrow.)

Not feeling particularly cheery this time of year? You’re not alone. Many find that the holidays bring as much stress as they do joy. But there are ways to ease through the season. To help make the most of your festivities, Neda Gould, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and director of the Johns Hopkins Mindfulness Program at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, shares some mindful tips. Those tips are below, and you can read the full article at https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/4-mindful-tips-to-destress-this-holiday-season

1. Accept Imperfection – Can good be good enough? “As we gear up for the holidays, we often set the bar impossibly high for ourselves and then feel upset when our celebrations don’t live up to expectations,” says Gould. Before you start preparing, acknowledge that things may not go exactly as planned. “It’s OK if it’s not perfect. Imperfection is healthy and normal. For some of us, it might just take a little practice,” reminds Gould.
2. Don’t Lose Sight of What Really Counts – With long lines and nasty traffic, the holidays can get hectic. When overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle, ask yourself: Where does this fit in the grand scheme of things? If you’re frustrated by the long grocery line you’re standing in, remember that it is just a long grocery line — nothing more. Don’t let it spoil your afternoon. Can I use this moment of frustration as an opportunity to reflect? While the cashier rings up the customers ahead of you, take inventory of the good things that have happened today or the things you are grateful for. Even if this moment seems stressful, can I find a way to make it pleasant? Connect with someone else in line with a compliment or kind gesture, or notice what’s around you with fresh eyes and an open mind.
3. Respond with Kindness You can’t change how others act during the stresses of the holiday season, but you can change how you respond to situations: “Whenever I encounter a difficult person, I tell myself, ‘this person is suffering, and that’s why they’re acting this way.’ It softens my frustration, helps me be more compassionate and reminds me that it’s not personal,” says Gould. Keep in mind that the holidays are especially difficult for those who are alone. See if you can extend an act of kindness to those you know are without family and friends during this time of year. If things do get tense with someone, take a few deep breaths. “Those few breaths can shift things and give you new perspective,” says Gould.
4. Rethink Your Resolutions “Typical New Year’s resolutions set you up for failure,” warns Gould. If you want to better yourself in the New Year, follow these tips for success: Start small. Break your goal into tinier steps over the course of the year. If weight loss is your goal, it doesn’t have to be drastic. Try to eat more veggies during your first month and gradually cut back on sweets throughout the next, suggests Gould. Be kind to yourself. If you didn’t achieve last year’s resolution or stray from the path this time around, let it go. “We often contrive these stories (‘I’m never going to quit smoking!’) that only add to our distress,” says Gould. “With practice, we can notice this self-critic, let go of that negativity and pick our goals back up without the guilt or shame.”

Part of any good wellness initiative is finding ways to remind each other that there is still goodness in the world, even amongst all the difficult things. While coming into contact with these reminders does not fix the underlying bigger problems, the hope is that it gives us a little extra wherewithal to continue to work toward their resolution. To that end, today we share the story of Mr. Herman and his kids.

New Jersey school bus driver Herman Cruse noticed that a kindergartner seemed a little sad and out of sorts during one morning ride to Middle Township Elementary #1. “Bus drivers are the eyes and ears of students when they’re away from home,” said Cruse, 55, who drives students of all ages for Middle Township Public Schools in Cape May Court House, N.J. “We have an uncanny gift to discern what kids are feeling,” he said.

When Cruse asked the kindergartner what was wrong, he said the boy explained that he wasn’t able to complete his reading assignment because his parents were busy with his four siblings at home. It was hard to find one-on-one time to practice reading with his mom or dad, he told Cruse. Cruse said an idea popped into his mind. “I told him, ‘Listen, I have some free time, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to come to the school and read with you,’” he said.

Cruse received permission from the 6-year-old’s teacher, Alex Bakley, to show up at her kindergarten classroom the following week. When he walked in, he said the boy shouted, “Hey, that’s my bus driver!” Herman Cruse has driven a school bus for more than 30 years. He has spent the last nine years driving for Middle Township Public Schools. (Alex Bakley) “We went into a quiet corner and began reading together,” Cruse said. “It was a book called ‘I Like Lunch,’ about a boy who likes sandwiches, a boy who likes apples, a boy who likes cookies and a boy who likes milk. Put it all together and you have lunch.” “So he read to me, I read to him and we read together, and from there, it took on a life of its own,”

Cruse continued. “A second student wanted to read to me, then a third. All these kids were going to the teacher asking, ‘Can I read with Mr. Herman?’” A stranger called. He had photos of her family from the Holocaust era. Almost two years later, Cruse now volunteers to help Bakley’s 18 kindergarten students and another kindergarten class with reading two days a week, and on a third day, he tutors the school’s first- and second-graders. After dropping the kids off at school, of course

Read Mr. Herman’s full story and see pictures of him in action at https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/2022/12/07/bus-driver-reading-herman-cruse/

Occasionally this wellness blog will share information whose sole intent is to, rather motivate you to take action, just feel good. Today is such a post, and it comes to us via this Washington Post story about photographer David Suh. His goal is to elevate the everyday people through portraits. Suh has since created posing tutorial on TikTok and elsewhere. “His work and videos are built on his unshakable belief that you are camera-ready exactly as you are. ‘For me, everyone is inherently beautiful,’ he tells [the Post] over Zoom from a low-lit nook in his studio. ‘Just the fact that they exist is beautiful.’ All you need to look fantastic in photos, he insists, is some posing and picture-taking practice, plus — and he knows this is the hard part — genuine faith in your own innate beauty, as defined on your terms and no one else’s.”

Suh gives a combination of general and practical advice. He says “you build who you are, and because you feel more secure in your identity, to me, that is what is attractive.” And that, in turn, “applies to being attractive on film. When you get to express that … you get to represent yourself the way you want to.” But he has also built a library of practical guides. He posts a combination of useful how-tos and earnest affirmations. You can find him responding to a disabled trans man seeking guidance on how to pose with his walker; showing a woman how to take solo pictures (which built to an impassioned takedown of the way society tells women not to take up space); offering a posing guide that contrasts a “Shy Couple” with a “Power Couple.” He ends his practical-yet-playful lessons with a duck quack sound effect.

Want to learn more? Check Suh out at https://www.tiktok.com/@davidsuh/

Andee Tagle (she/her) is a reporter-producer for NPR’s Life Kit podcast. She recently posted an article discussing some key aspects of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Specifically the role of our automatic thoughts and the language we use to describe ourselves and our experiences. You can read the full article at https://www.npr.org/2022/11/04/1133860237/stop-hurting-your-own-feelings-tips-on-quashing-negative-self-talk and below is a brief summary to consider.

Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend In our episode on how to curb negative self-talk, psychologist Joy Harden Bradford says to be aware of the harmful things we might say to ourselves. So the next time you’re tempted to disparage your looks or criticize your decision-making, ask yourself: would I talk this way to my best friend? If not, practice “using the same kind and gentle language that we use with the people we love” on yourself, says Bradford. “Because we’re also people who we hopefully love, right?” Listen to the episode here.

‘SIFT’ through what people say about you The acronym SIFT (source, impact, frequency and trends), developed by research scientist Mike Caulfield, can help you figure out whether you should listen to feedback from others or just ignore it. Say someone calls you out for poor email communication. Did that criticism come from someone you trust and value? Is it demanding a big change or a minor tweak to your behavior? Is this something you’ve heard from other people? And have you heard this from different communities in your life, or just at work? Consider these points before deciding to act. Listen to the episode here.

Don’t forget that our brains have a tendency to focus on the negative The mind is a tricky thing. It can lead us to fixate, for example, on one bad aspect of a year-end review from a manager instead of their positive feedback. This is called “negativity bias,” says Yale psychology professor Woo-kyoung Ahn, and it illustrates our propensity to weigh negative events a lot more heavily than an equal amount of positive events. This “thinking error,” she says, is dangerous because it can lead us to make the wrong choices. Find out how to counteract this bias here.

Don’t dwell on something that bothers you — talk about it If someone you love is causing you distress, don’t be afraid to communicate with them about it, says psychologist Adia Gooden. It may help clear up any assumptions you may have and offer new perspectives about the incident. For example, instead of jumping to conclusions if your partner is always on their phone at dinnertime, you might say to them: “Because you’re always on your phone, I feel like you don’t think I’m worthy of your attention,” says Gooden. “And they might say, ‘Oh, shoot, I didn’t mean to be on my phone. Or, you know, I’ve been kind of frustrated with you and I didn’t know how to bring it up. So I’ve been looking at my phone instead of making eye contact. Let’s talk.” Listen to the episode here.

Adapt a ‘growth mindset’ Instead of defining yourself by your failures or limitations, consider every loss as part of your learning process. This idea, developed by psychologist Carol Dweck, is called a “growth mindset,” and it can help bolster that internal dialogue when you’ve taken an L and can’t stop kicking yourself about it. Let’s say you lose a round of pool. Those with a fixed mindset, she says, think that talent and intelligence are static: I give up, I’ll never get good at this! Growth-minded people believe that effort can lead to mastery: Hey! I’m getting a lot better at putting some power behind the ball! It’s all about finding the right perspective. Listen to the episode here.

Yup, it’s about that time again. The end of daylight saving is nigh. For many the extra hour of sleep as welcomed, but for most any change to routine, especially our sleep routine, can have a number of undesirable downstream effects. To that end, Holly Burns as the New York Times wellness blog has compiled a list of things to consider as we prepare for this year’s tradition. Some of this tips are below, you can read the full article at NYTimes.com.

• Try shifting your bedtime 30 minutes later a few days in advance, so that by Sunday, the time on the clock is closer to the time your body feels it is, said Jennifer Martin, a professor of medicine at the University of California, Los Angeles, and president of the board of directors for the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. That means, though, that you should also be sleeping 30 minutes later in the mornings, which isn’t feasible for everyone.
• Extra time in bed sounds glorious to some, but it can be hard if you struggle with insomnia, said Dr. Martin, because “the night basically just got an hour longer.” In that case, focus on keeping the time you spend in bed the same, rather than the time you fall asleep. So if you usually spend eight hours in bed — say, between 10:30 p.m. and 6:30 a.m. — go to bed an hour later on Saturday night, which may reduce your chances of lying awake during the night.
• Move your workout. It can be demoralizing to find that the pleasant afternoon stroll you’ve been accustomed to is now a gloomy trudge through the dark. Shifting your walk, run or bike ride to the morning means you’ll get a dose of direct morning light, which is important for regulating sleeping and waking habits. Your cortisol spikes, giving you energy, and your brain stops producing the sleep hormone melatonin.
• Eat with care. Aim to stick to your normal mealtimes once the clocks change — so if you were eating dinner at 6:30 p.m., keep eating at 6:30 p.m., said Hayley Wilkes, an integrative nutritionist in Chicago who works with clients to navigate potential disruptions to their eating habits. Prepare the week before by gradually shifting mealtimes forward 15 minutes, so your body gets used to eating a little later.
• Seek creative activities. In the days after we put the clocks back, it’s natural to feel sad that summer is over or frustrated that some activities aren’t an option anymore, Dr. Hill said. A Danish study of more than 185,000 people over 17 years found that the transition to standard time was associated with an 11 percent increase in depressive episodes. As it gets colder and darker, it may be tempting to indulge in nothing more mentally taxing than a Netflix binge, but sedentary behavior and media consumption are strongly associated with decreased life satisfaction and increased depression, said Dr. Hill. Instead, try to focus on “activities where you create rather than consume.”

Happiness, Joy, and Meaning are related, but ultimately separate, concepts.

• Happiness: to the pleasurable feelings that result from a situation, experience, or objects
• Joy: a state of mind that can be found even in times of grief or uncertainty.
• Meaning: Taking the opportunity to define our own purpose, and taking responsibility for ourselves and other human beings

Recently, Harvard physician Stephanie Collier, MD, MPH wrote a piece describing how one can find joy, or at least peace, during difficult times.

Dr. Collier hilights the distinction amongst joy, happiness, and meaning in that “We can work on cultivating joy independent of our circumstances. Winning the lottery may trigger (short-term) happiness; spending time engaging in meaningful activities may result in long-term joy.” This, then, gives us guidance on how to navigate times of tumult. She ultimately highlights that doing the work of finding joy can lead to a stronger immune system and decrease stress hormones, improve pain, and relieve depression, all helping us to live longer. Check our her tips for finding joy below, or read the full article at Harvard Health.

• Perform regular aerobic physical activity. Think of physical activity as releasing a bubble bath of neurotransmitters — and their effects linger long after the exercise is over.
• Dedicate yourself to others. Activities such as volunteering produce greater joy than focusing on oneself.
• Connect with your spiritual side. When we join with something larger than ourselves, we develop feelings of gratitude, compassion, and peace. Meditation is a powerful way to modify brain pathways to increase joy.
• Discover something new. As humans, we are hard-wired to experience joy when experiencing novelty. Developing a new pursuit can help us refocus our energy.
• Give yourself permission to take a few moments of pleasure, especially when you are feeling low. You can try NPR’s Joy Generator for a taste.
• Pay attention to the good. A joyous mindset can be developed, but takes practice. The three good things exercise helps you keep an eye out for the positives during the day.
• Conversely, limit negativity. Whether it’s gossipy coworkers, a toxic relationship with a family member, or a complaining friend, spending time around a negative mindset influences us directly. It’s okay to set limits.
• Focus your efforts on what brings meaning to your life (and don’t focus on money).
• Ask your doctor about whether your medications can affect your ability to experience pleasure, especially if you are taking antidepressants.

Living through a period in which there is so much that divides it is sometimes helpful to also attend to what we have in common, and what keeps us going. To that end, the New York Times’ Well Desk recently surveyed their readers and asked what their wellness “non-negotiables” are. Thousands of people shared practices that anchor and animate their days. You can read a few examples below or the full article at nytimes.com. But today perhaps ask yourself, what are your wellness non-negotiables? And can you share that with someone else? These might be ways to stay grounded, become healthier, or just a little bit happier.

“I use different plates for breakfast on the weekends. Rather than the grab-and-go-shovel-in-the-food weekday morning routine, my bright blue and yellow plates with bread, jams and fruit are a reminder to enjoy life, slow down and savor.”

“Every morning I walk around our town for what I call my Banana Walk. My wife dislikes the smell of bananas in the house, and I love her, so I take my banana and spend the next hour figuring out the universe, life, and while I’m at it, my work day.”

“Every morning — all year — my husband and I do a “bird sit,” a 20- to 60-minute phone-free time when we watch the birds from our patio. The first time I did this practice was at a weekend workshop; it was the first time in over 10 years that I’d been by myself, sitting quietly without my children and without my phone. I thought I was going to burst it felt so long. Now, the practice is just as important to my day as eating breakfast and getting to work. Our 7-year-old often joins us. In the winter, we get bundled in sleeping bags. We have a family of sharp shinned hawks we’ve been watching, and hummingbirds come so close we can hold them in our hands.”

“I used to read all the time when I was younger and wanted to get back into it. For the last few months, it’s become a non-negotiable for me to read for at least half an hour a day. It usually ends up being more than that, but on days when I’m exhausted or busy with other things, I cut it off at my mandatory 30 minutes. Since I started reading every day, I’ve become more productive overall. I feel like my imagination has improved since I’m watching less TV and spending less time scrolling on my phone. My mind is moving more, and I feel more present in my life.”

“Having tea with my 11-year-old son after school. He likes iced mint tea with some honey; I go for English Breakfast with a splash of soy milk. It’s our time to connect, joke around and chat about the day. It doesn’t have to last long — maybe 15 to 20 minutes. I cherish this mom-son teatime and look forward to it every school day!”

“At least once a day, I choose to savor a moment of joy. The occasion might be a taste of delicious food, a laugh with a loved one, finding a prize parking spot, discovering my next library book, catching a glimpse of the moon through my upstairs window. It’s amazing how these wonders multiply when I come to see them as ubiquitous gifts, not rare anomalies.”

Lesley Alderman is a Brooklyn-based psychotherapist who recently wrote a piece for the Washington Post describing what she feels is an unusually high degree of weariness in the people coming to her for therapy. She feels she has noticed a trend wherein those who had been concerned about national and world events and visibly frightened during the pandemic now seem exhausted. Related, she feels many are experiencing a deficit of optimism, and are overwhelmed about important issues that are beyond their control. Ms. Alderman has labeled this “hope fatigue” and feels it is, in least in part, due to the fact that humans were just not designed for this level of chronic threat to every aspect of our lives. To counter this, she offers the following practical advice to counter this problem. We encourage you to pick just one of these interventions to start, try implementing it over the next two weeks before trying another.

Take a break from the news. A total creak at first may be good, but when you come back, try reading the news just once a day, turn off alerts on your phone and, if possible, check social media sparingly.	Take care of yourself. Get back to basics: work toward sleeping and eating well, and getting exercise where you can. Otherwise, find ways to engage in life-affirming activities.
Focus on the present. Get in the habit of anchoring yourself in the here and now. Fretting about the future is not helpful.	Try a breathing exercise. Taking a few deep breaths — for instance, inhaling to the count of five and exhaling to the count of five — will help calm your sympathetic nervous system (the fight or flight response) and lower your anxiety.
Think about your victories. Remind yourself of what’s working well in your own life — whether it’s your job, friendships, or the uplifting array of houseplants you nurtured during the pandemic.	Be your own therapist. Ask yourself, what do I specifically feel hopeless about and why? Being able to put into words what’s getting you down can help you feel less flooded by emotions and better able to process the information rationally.
Take action. Worrying doesn’t help one’s mental health, but taking action does. Look around your community. Maybe your local playground would benefit from a basketball court, or your church or synagogue could sponsor a refugee family. When people engage in local issues, they have a renewed sense of optimism.	Join forces with a friend. Pick a cause. There are hundreds of nonprofits dedicated to addressing some of the most tenacious challenges on the planet. Donate money to an inspiring organization or volunteer.

What would it look like if we flipped the script on happiness? Rather than viewing it as the logical outcome of good things, could we look at happiness as the cause of good things? It is these questions and more that Dr. Ed Diener attempts to answer in his lecture “The New Science of Happiness.” Dr. Diener was a psychologist, professor, and author at the University of Utah and the University of Virginia as well as a senior scientist for the Gallup Organization. He is noted for his research over the past thirty years on happiness, including work on temperament and personality influences on well-being, theories of well-being, income and well-being, cultural influences on well-being, and the measurement of well-being. His body of work ha been cited over 257,000 times and remains impactful to this day. Check out his lecture below!

The following is summarized from the NPR article “How to have real fun — even when life’s got you down” which can be read in full at https://www.npr.org/2022/02/22/1082374139/how-to-have-fun-and-why-you-should

Catherine Price, author of “The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again,” defines fun as a time when you are able to embody a mix of three things: playfulness, connection and flow.

Playfulness – “I don’t mean you have to play a game. You don’t have to play make-believe, you have to do charades,” says Price. Playfulness is when you embrace a spirit of lightheartedness and freedom. It means letting go of the idea that you have to be perfect or to achieve something.

Connection – You feel a sense of connection with the activity that you’re doing. You feel a sense of connection with your physical body. Or, most likely, you feel a sense of connection with another person or group of people through a shared experience.

Flow – You know that thing where you’re totally immersed in something and can even lose track of time? That.

Price also offers a handy acronym to help bring more fun in your days: SPARK

S — make Space for fun! Put your phone down, or even set aside some time on your calendar to make sure you are really dedicating yourself to looking for fun.

P — Pursue passions. “You don’t need to put pressure on yourself and think ‘I’m going to become a professional snowboarder,'” Price says. Set the bar low! Look for things that interest you and let those guide you.

A — A is for attracting fun, which means having an open mind about when and where fun might appear. Price recommends an improv-style “yes, and” approach to having fun, where you look for fun as well as jump into other folks’ fun.

R — Rebellion! Price found in her research that a little bit of gentle rebellion was a good way to make fun happen. So, jump in a pool with your clothes on! Go roller skating in the middle of the night! Stepping out of what is expected of you can be a great way to seek out fun moments.

K — Keep at it! Like any new practice, the only way to really incorporate it into your life is to try it many times. So don’t give up if basket weaving doesn’t work for you — maybe it’ll be guitar or making zines or working in the community garden that becomes your next fun magnet!

Dani Blum is an associate writer for Well at The New York Times. the Philadelphia Inquirer, and Philadelphia magazine. She recently penned an article meant to help people distinguish between burn-out, depression, and what do to about each. You can read the full article “How Can I Tell if I’m Depressed or Burned Out?” at NYTimes.com.

Dani writes “Workers can become burned out when they feel like they don’t have control over their day-to-day lives, getting bogged down in the minutiae of their tasks. People who are burned out may feel depleted and cynical about their jobs; they can resent their assignments and co-workers. They might feel irritable and ineffective, like they just can’t get anything done. For people who interact with others in their jobs, like health care workers or people in the retail and service industries, they might start to lose empathy, thinking of patients or customers as just another number, or a rote task to complete. There are also a litany of physical symptoms that can come with the unending stress of burnout: insomnia, headaches, gastrointestinal issues.”

She goes on to write “The World Health Organization includes burnout in the International Classification of Diseases, its diagnostic manual, characterizing it as an “occupational phenomenon,” not a medical condition. Depression, however, is a clinical diagnosis. People with depression often experience anhedonia, the inability to enjoy activities they once treasured. “You can be reading a book you used to love and now you hate it,” said Dr. Jessi Gold, a psychiatrist at Washington University in St. Louis. “Or you love watching Bravo, but now it doesn’t make you laugh anymore.” With burnout, you might not have energy for your hobbies; with depression, you might not find them fun or pleasant at all, said Jeanette M. Bennett, an associate professor who studies the effects of stress on health at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte.”

A key differentiator is that burnout gets better when you step away from work, said Dr. Rebecca Brendel, president of the American Psychiatric Association. When you take vacation time, or a mental health day, you feel at least slightly recharged. Depression doesn’t go away if you change your circumstances. “There’s not that bounce-back effect,” she said. “It takes more than that.”

The authors recommend the following for burnout:

• Take a mental health day or a “sad day” off work, if you’re able to, can offer a reprieve from your symptoms.
• Consider a career change — which is easier said than done, Dr. Gold acknowledged. “Being able to say, ‘This is a bad workplace, that’s it, I quit,’ is a privilege beyond privilege,” she said.
• Turn off notifications from your work email or Slack at certain hours.
• If there’s one meeting you consistently dread, try to block off five or 10 minutes right after to do something that can help you relax,
• Accentuate the elements of your job that you find meaningful. Maybe that means mentoring a more junior colleague.
• Exercise can help relieve work-related tension, as can carving out even a few minutes to decompress — without your phone.

But depression is a different story and they recommend:

• Reach out to a mental health provider
• If you tell yourself you’re going on a five-minute walk, you’ll probably end up walking for longer than that, Dr. Gold said. “But it’s hard when you’re exhausted and sad to make yourself do anything.”
• Getting out of the house won’t alleviate all your symptoms, but any kind of movement can help you feel a bit better, she said.
• You can write down coping mechanisms that have been helpful for you — calling a friend, or going for a quick run — and keep the list on your desk or on your dresser for when you’ll need them.
• Pay attention to what works for you, Dr. Gold said. “If you don’t like mindfulness, don’t force it,” she said. “Do the things that actually help you feel better in the moments when you feel bad.”

Be sure to read the full article “How Can I Tell if I’m Depressed or Burned Out?” at NYTimes.com.

Recently, researchers Héctor García and Francesc Miralles have expanded their study of the Japanese concept of Ikigai, the rough translation of which is “the happiness of always being busy.” García and Miralles suggest every person has an Ikigai, and that it can be found through patient soul-searching. This generally involves finding balance between your passion, mission, profession, and vocation is the key. While the answer to your Ikigai may take time to uncover, here are 10 general rules to start you on your way:

1. Stay active and don’t retire. Once García and Miralles arrived in Okinawa, they were shocked to find out how many people simply do not retire — in fact, they even note the lack of a Japanese word for the concept. In order to do what you love for as long as you can, the authors suggest that you make it a priority to stay active in all stages of life.
2. Take it slow. “When you leave urgency behind, life and time take on new meaning,” the authors advise. So instead of rushing your daily tasks, try to savor and enjoy them for the sake of your Ikigai. ikigai book cover
3. Don’t fill your stomach. “Less is more when it comes to a long life. Eat a little less than your hunger demands.” According to García and Miralles, one of the most popular phrases in Japan is “Hara hachi bu,” which means something akin to “fill your belly to 80 percent.”
4. Surround yourself with good friends. “Friends are the best medicine, there for confiding, sharing stories, getting advice, having fun, dreaming… in other words, living.” Basically, it’s a great excuse to gather your girl squad for drinks more often. Hey, it’s for your health!
5. Get in shape for your next birthday. “The body you move through life needs a bit of gentle daily maintenance.” While the folks on the Japanese island of Okinawa do not perform rigorous exercise, they do regularly get up and move their muscles. Try setting an alarm on your phone every hour to remind yourself to get out of your office chair and move around.
6. Smile. “It’s a privilege to be in the here and now — and in a world so full of possibilities,” say García and Miralles. Do your best to stay positive no matter what life throws your way, lady.
7. Reconnect with nature. “Human beings are made to be part of the natural world. Return to it as often as you can,” the authors say. In other words, do your best to make time in your busy schedule to get back to nature, whether that’s a weekend hike with friends or a summer goal to bike to work once a week.
8. Give thanks. “Give thanks for everything that brightens your day and makes you feel lucky to be alive.” Whether it’s committing to writing in a gratitude journalor simply being more conscious of voicing your gratefulness to the Starbucks barista who saves your morning, do your best to give more thanks throughout the day. ADVERTISING
9. Live in the moment. We all have those moments where looking ahead at our busy schedule leaves us feeling mega overwhelmed and stressed. “Today is all we have,” the authors note. “Make it worth remembering.”
10. Find your Ikigai. “There is a passion inside you, a unique talent, that gives meaning to your days and drives you to share the best of yourself until the very end.” You heard it — go get ’em, lady!

A new paper suggests that it takes far less exercise than was previously thought to lower blood sugar after eating. While previous research focused on a 15-minute walking goal, a new meta-analysis from University of Limerick found that light walking after a meal, in increments of as little as two to five minutes, had a significant impact in moderating blood sugar levels. When participants went for a short walk, their blood sugar levels rose and fell more gradually which is a key goal in diabetes management. In a recent interview with the New York times Dr. Kershaw Patel, having review the research, said “Each small thing you do will have benefits, even if it is a small step.” Further proof that our journey through wellness does not need to be marked by successive big achievements, the small ones add up and set us up for success!

You can read the full study at https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s40279-022-01649-4

Author Lori Deschene runs the website tinybuddha.com. She shared that her site “is about reflecting on simple wisdom and learning new ways to apply it to our complex lives—complete with responsibilities, struggles, dreams, and relationships.” In one of her most recent posts she offers 10 suggestions on how weather the storms that will invariably come our way. They are as follows, but feel free to visit her post or download them in poster form!

1. You don’t have to feel guilty about feeling sad, bad, anxious, angry, or any other “negative” feeling. You’re not a “negative person.” You’re human.

2. You have a right to feel how you feel even if other people have it worse. Your pain is valid, regardless of what anyone else is going through.

3. You’re doing the best you can based on your life experiences, traumas, conditioning, beliefs, current challenges, and coping skills. As you learn new skills, you’ll cope better, but you may still struggle to apply what you’ve learned, and that’s okay. No one copes perfectly in an imperfect situation.

4. You don’t have to push yourself to be productive. It’s okay to rest or do the bare minimum when you’re struggling. This isn’t being lazy; it’s being kind to yourself—and you deserve it.

5. You’re not “falling behind.” It’s possible that you’re exactly where you need to be to learn, grow, and heal, meaning someday you might look back and consider this chapter a crucial part of your life journey.

6. You don’t have to please or impress anyone else, including yourself. Sometimes it’s enough just to live and make it through the day.

7. You don’t need to have anything figured out right now. You just need to take it one day at a time, trusting that you’ll find answers and solutions if you keep moving forward.

8. You are not alone, and you don’t have to pretend or hide. There are people who care and want to help—and because they’ve struggled too, they understand and would never judge you.

9. You won’t feel this way forever. Just as you’ve survived dark times before, you’ll eventually get past this and maybe even feel proud of yourself for how you made it through.

10. Nothing is guaranteed in the future, but you have the strength to handle whatever might be coming, and the capacity to make the best of it.

While music may not be an integral part of everyone’s life there is a growing body of evidence that playing that funky (or soulful, or rocking) music carries with it a number of benefits and can promote overall wellness.

As outlined by Lorrie Kubicek, MT-BC, contributor to the Harvard Health Blog, ongoing research suggests that music boosts our mood and well-being, and music therapy may help during treatments for certain health conditions. Some of these benefits include easing a transition to sleep with a soothing playlist, finding motivation for exercise by listening to upbeat dance music, aiding self-expression of emotions by singing, and connecting to others by attending a live musical performance.

In medicine, certified music therapists have helped patients by combing active and receptive interactions with music to decrease anxiety, shift patient mood, decrease pain perception during cancer or other medical treatment, increase expression and those living with dementia, and increase motivation among other benefits.

You can read the full article, “Can music improve our health and quality of life?” at https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/can-music-improve-our-health-and-quality-of-life-202207252786

Need some music in your life right now? Check out Barack Obama’s 2022 Summer Playlist!

A 2019 study by NYU and Stanford has recently resurfaced as companies begin to consider how to impact employee wellness beyond incentivizing and otherwise promoting healthy diet and exercise.

The results of the study suggest some benefit to Facebook use, but also highlights its addictive properties. More to the point, even after a four week “detox,” the participants spent substantial time on Facebook every day and needed to be paid large amounts of money to give up Facebook. The findings overall made clear the diverse ways in which Facebook can improve people’s lives, whether as a source of entertainment, a means to organize a charity or an activist group, or a vital social lifeline for those who are otherwise isolated.

But the results also make clear that the downsides are real. The authors found that the four week detox improved subjective well-being and substantially reduces post-experiment demand, suggesting that forces such as addiction and projection bias may cause people to use Facebook more than they otherwise would. They found that while deactivation makes people less informed, it also makes them less polarized by at least some measures, consistent with the concern that social media have played some role in the recent rise of polarization in the US.

Ready to change your relationship to social media? Try these tips from Michael LaNasa:

Limit Time

Apps like Moment or AppDetox will allow you to track and set alarms for time spent on social apps. Mindfulness and accountability are key to this approach.

When made aware of the time we spend chasing dopamine hits, it’s possible to snap out of the addiction. Coupled with keeping ourselves accountable and we can regain control.

Unfollow

Admit it, you likely follow people you don’t know because of the glamorous lifestyle they showcase. (I still have a few holdouts like this.) Remember, most of the social media is purposeful curation. No shame in it — but know that it’s intended to make you envious. The effect of envy or resentment can be detrimental.

Find some of the people or pages that draw your attention but give you little in return. Turn off notifications. Or unfollow them.

Reflect

This comes down to your own choice after all. Choose to be envious. Choose to let comparison ruin your general happiness and self-worth. But what if these aren’t the only paths?

Psychologist Leon Festinger hypothesized that we make comparisons as a way of evaluating ourselves. Some benefits include positive self-image and self-motivation. The downsides of social comparison are familiar: deep dissatisfaction, guilt, or remorse.

What if you choose to reel in that comparison to others? Recognize that the need for comparison should aim at your previous self, not others. Stop comparing and start competing with the person you once were; aim to be the best version of yourself. Not someone else.

Many people find value in journaling. One huge benefit of that exercise is the ability to reflect upon previous wins. Gratitude compounds and you’re reminded that you’re doing pretty well, in fact. Instead of observing others’ lives, observe your own.

988, the new number for the well known 24-hour hotline to assist callers experiencing a range of mental health emergencies, launches this Saturday, July 16.

Starting then anyone in the US who texts or calls 988 will be connected with a trained counselors who can help them cope with a mental health emergency and direct them to additional resources for mental health and substance use treatment.

Per the New York Times, the line will be referred to as the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, to emphasize that the service is for people experiencing a mental health crisis of any kind, not just those involving suicidal ideation.

“Anyone experiencing a mental health or substance use issue can call 988. Counselors on the other end of the hotline are trained in handling a wide range of mental health issues, including self-harm, addiction and suicidal ideation, said Hannah Wesolowski, chief advocacy officer at the National Alliance on Mental Illness. Ideally, when someone calls 988, they will first be connected to one of 200 local call centers, which can help connect them to community resources or dispatch emergency services if necessary. If those call centers are busy, the caller will be automatically directed to a national backup center.”

Need more info? Check out the 988 fact sheet at https://www.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/988-factsheet.pdf.

Strengthening Our Schools to Promote Resilience and Health Among LGBTQ Youth

Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning (LGBTQ) adolescents face well-documented health disparities in suicide risk, substance use, and sexual health. These disparities are known to stem, in part, from stigma directed toward LGBTQ youth in the form of minority stressors such as violence, discrimination, and harassment. Given the proportion of time that LGBTQ students spend in school, schools provide a critical context within which protective factors may be developed and leveraged to improve the health and wellbeing of these populations. This article provides a summary of key findings from a discussion among researchers, practitioners, and community members who participated in “The State of LGBTQ Youth Health and Wellbeing: Strengthening Schools and Families to Build Resilience,” a public symposium held in June 2017. We detail emerging science on and future priorities for school-based research with LGBTQ youth which were identified by attendees at this meeting, with a particular focus on intersectionality, supportive adults in schools, and in-school programs. We call for more school-based research on priority gaps such as how LGBTQ students’ intersecting identities affect their in-school experiences, how to design professional development programs that cultivate supportive educators, and how to leverage gay–straight alliances/gender and sexuality alliances as sites of health programming for LGBTQ students.

Read more at https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/full/10.1089/lgbt.2018.0109

While we have been observing Pride Month we want the momentum to last all year, every year. As such, this week we encourage you to check out The Human Rights Campaign “Won’t Hide My Pride” page. There are numerous resources here that contribute to wellness directly, but also directly by raising awareness of relevant issues and providing opportunity to get involved in promoting humans right for those in the LGBTQIA+ community. Resources include information now how to become involved in the HRC “Count Me In” campaign, aimed at building a grassroots army of support for the transgender & non-binary community; Pride greeting cards; an HRC staff curated Pride playlist, and countless resources for yourself and the whole family.

Visit https://www.hrc.org/campaigns/celebrate-pride-with-us for more details!

Pride Month is currently celebrated each year in the month of June to honor the 1969 Stonewall Uprising in Manhattan. While the Stonewall Uprising was a tipping point for the Gay Liberation Movement in the United States, there is still a long road to go toward equality. The treatment of those in the L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ community by our society historically and at presently has had a significant impact on wellness, and so to honor Pride Month we will be posting weekly content meant to promote wellness in this area.

As if often the case, the first step toward change is education. So for Week 01, check out Boston University’s comprehensive education library. If we want to promote wellness for all, it starts with understanding the issues pertinent to the L.G.B.T.Q.I.A.+ community, connecting with local and national organizations and initiatives, and re-assessing what it means to be truly inclusive and welcoming. You can do all of this at https://www.bumc.bu.edu/wellness/diversity/creating-diverse-environment/key-lgbt-health-resources/.

As Mental Health Awareness Month continues we want to assure everyone is checking in with themselves. While the names of many mental health diagnoses have made their way into our everyday vocabulary, not all of us have been given the opportunity to learn what they are and to what degree the are part of our lived experience. As such, this week we encourage you to have a look at the mental health screening tools offered by Mental Health America at https://screening.mhanational.org/screening-tools/. If you suspect you are living with one of these conditions, be sure to check out our resources page to get connected with a professional to discuss this further. Cooper employees and their families can take advantage of CareBridge, more information is available at https://wellness.cooperhealth.org/carebridge/. Everyone can also have a look at the PsychologyToday therapist locator at https://www.psychologytoday.com/us, which lets you filter by location, insurance status, and specific issues you would want to address in therapy.

Each May, the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services observes Mental Health Awareness Month. During this month, our featured posts will focus on promoting information about promoting and maintaining good mental health, as well as what to do when you are someone you love are struggling. This week, we are focusing on some basic facts about mental health as presented by Mental Health America (MHA).

With mental health entering more and more of our daily conversations, it’s critical that everyone has a solid foundation of knowledge about mental health.

• Addressing mental health symptoms early is critically important for overall health. From social determinants of health to genetics, many factors are in play when it comes to mental health conditions, but there are protective measures that can prevent mental health conditions from developing or keep symptoms from becoming severe.
• While 1 in 5 people will experience a mental illness during their lifetime, everyone faces challenges in life that can impact their mental health.
• About half of Americans will meet the criteria for a diagnosable mental health condition sometime in their life, with symptoms starting by age 24 for the majority of people.
• The average delay between symptom onset and treatment is 11 years, meaning a lot of people spend months or years facing mental health challenges before getting a diagnosis. It is never too early to seek treatment for your mental health. Intervening effectively during early stages can save lives and is critically important for people living with mental health conditions.
• Social, cultural, and historical factors often impact the mental health of communities that have traditionally been marginalized. These communities experience overt racism and bigotry far too often, which leads to a mental health burden that is deeper than what others may face.
• Life can be challenging, but every day shouldn’t feel hard or out of your control. If it does, one of the quickest and easiest ways to determine whether you are experiencing symptoms of a mental health condition is to take a mental health screening at mhascreening.org.
• The delays in treatment for mental health conditions are longer than for many other health conditions. Getting screened increases the chances of getting treatment. Mental Health America has free, anonymous, and scientifically validated mental health screens at mhascreening.org.
• Your screening results can be used to start a conversation with your primary care provider or a trusted friend or family member, and you can begin to plan a course of action for addressing your mental health.
• When facing a mental health concern or living with a mental health condition, it’s common to feel like no one understands what you’re going through. You aren’t alone – help is available, and recovery is possible.
• Starting July 16, 2022, call 988 for matters of mental health crisis. Calling 988 will connect you directly to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which is staffed by trained crisis counselors 24/7, 365 days a year.

One of the most consistent and powerful predictors of wellbeing is a sense of being connected to our fellow humans. That sense of connectedness was already fraying pre-COVID and, in may ways, has worsened since. But this is a solvable problem! The folks over at The Art of Health Living have created a list of 10 very different ways you can improve your sense of connectedness to your community today. These range from longer term commitments like volunteering, to things that may only take a half hour or so like donating blood.

Check out the full list in the article 10 WAYS TO GET INVOLVED IN YOUR COMMUNITY at https://artofhealthyliving.com/10-ways-to-get-involved-in-your-community/

Dr. Jacqueline Kerr left a 20 year career in academia back in 2018 and has since dedicated herself to helping to prevent burnout in others. She is a burnout survivor. She recently spoke at the annual meeting of the Society of Behavioral Medicine and presented on the 12 Stages of Burnout (below), how burnout happens, and how we can take a comprehensive approach to fixing it now and preventing it going forward.

Dr. Kerr’s behavior change approach considers the systems we are part of and empowers people to change themselves and to advocate for change in others. She is now applying her research to different settings; schools, senior centers, retirement communities, workplaces, neighborhoods, healthcare systems, and government agencies. She leverages her background as an implementation scientist to guide a collaborative approach to behavior change and to build quality improvement learning cycles into the process. Her approach now incorporates using mobile devices, software systems, mobile applications, and machine learning to maximize precision in solving complex personal and systematic problems.

Learn more about Dr. Kerr at https://www.drjacquelinekerr.com/

Science and business journalist Sara Harrison recently wrote a piece for Wired.com examining the recent increase in popularity of online happiness courses. The full article, “Online ‘Happiness’ Classes Might Work Better Than You Think“, can be read at https://www.wired.com/story/online-happiness-classes-might-work-better-than-you-think/. In a nutshell, she is told and settles into the conclusion that the concept of having unremitting happiness, while a good aspirational goal, is not sustainably achievable. More to the point, she quotes Science of Happiness professor Bruce Hood in concluding that to “register a positive emotion, you have to know what those less pleasant feelings are like you need to experience both sides of the coin.” They jointly suggest that improving our sense of well-being and satisfaction is possible and what will give us the greatest benefit.

You can consider taking a Science of Happiness course online, but for starters, consider taking a moment today to pick a target for well-being and satisfaction and set one small goal toward it.

Many of us avoid our dentists, and the mere thought of dental care can feel anxiety provoking for some – a perceived detriment to our mental health! All kidding aside, though, dentists can teach us a lot about how to manage mental health well, both proactively and reactively. David Kouba, attorney turned licensed clinical mental health counselor and active contributor to National Alliance on Mental Illness’s (NAMI) mental health blog, recently published an article outlining what dentistry can teach us about fostering healthy habits at an early age, preventative care throughout the lifespan, identifying and assisting at-risk individuals, modeling recovery, and decreasing stigma. You can read his article, entitled “What Mental Health Care Can Learn from Dental Health Care Strategies“, at https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/March-2022/What-Mental-Health-Care-Can-Learn-from-Dental-Health-Care-Strategies

Almost anywhere you turn these days you will find a reminder of how scary the world can be. This can be overwhelming for adults, a fact that predated the pandemic and that has certainly been underscored by it. But imagine how much more scary it is for the young people around us.

If you are noticing increased sadness or anxiety as the scary headlines pile up in the young people around you, or yourself for that matter, then have a look at the recent publication from Claire McCarthy, MD, pediatrician at Boston Children’s Hospital and Senior Faculty Editor at Harvard Health Publishing. In her article “Talking to children about tragedies and scary headlines in the news” she offers four simple things all adults can and should do to manage the distress of young people around us and ourselves. These are summarized below, and you can read her full article at https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/talking-to-children-about-tragedies-in-the-news-2017101012567

1. Tell them what happened, in simple terms. Be honest, but skip the gory details. Answer their questions just as simply and honestly. If you think — or know — that your child has already heard something, ask them what they’ve heard. That way you can correct any misinformation, and know not only what you need to explain but also what you may need to reassure them about.

2. Be mindful of the media that your child sees. The news can be very graphic, and because the media are as much in the business of gaining viewers as of delivering news, they tend to make things as dramatic as possible and play footage over and over again. When the planes flew into the Twin Towers on 9/11, my husband and I were glued to the television, not realizing that one of our daughters, who was 3 years old at the time, thought that planes were literally flying into buildings again and again. It wasn’t until she said, “Are those planes going to come here too?” that we shut off the TV and didn’t turn it back on again until all the children were in bed.

3. Make sure your child knows that you and others are always doing everything you can to keep them safe. Talk about some of the ways you keep them safe, ways that are relevant to the tragedy you are talking about. Make a safety plan as a family for things like extreme weather or getting separated. Help them think about what they might do if they are ever in a scary situation, and who they could turn to for help. Which leads me to the most important thing to do…

4. Look for the helpers. The wonderful Fred Rogers often talked about how when he saw scary things on the news, his mother would tell him to look for the helpers, because there are always people who are helping. That may be the best thing we can do as parents: help our children look for the helpers. In all of the recent tragedies, as in all tragedies, there were so many helpers and heroes. When we concentrate on those people, not only do we give our children hope, but we may empower them to one day be helpers too.

150 years before the publication of Tim Scanlon‘s “What We Owe to Each Other,” which outlines the basic tenants of the philosophical school of Contractualism, the term Ubuntu, long established in the oral traditions in the Nguni Bantu language, began to emerge in African writing. The term Ubuntu can be roughly translated as “humanity,” and philosophically emphasizes the significance of our community and shared humanity and teaches us that ‘A person is a person through others.’ While individualism appears to be running rampant globally, Ubuntu offers a counterpoint, and is the focus of the following BBC short film. Have a watch, and consider how you can step outside of yourself today.

Prioritizing wellness pre-COVID was hard. With ever changing schedules and the persistence of virtual alternatives to things we once did in person superimposed on top of the baseline chaos it is a wonder anyone has the chance to exercise. If you are thinking you want to ramp up your physical wellness, it may be best to start small with something like daily stretching routines.

Daily stretching can loosen up tight muscles, increase flexibility and range of motion, improve posture, reduce pain, lower your risk of injury, boost your circulation, relieve stress, and ease headaches.

Ready to jump in? Check out these 10 stretches to do every day!

Ikigai (pronounced ee-key-guy) is the Japanese concept that translate roughly to “a reason for being.” It’s made from two Japanese words: iki, meaning “life” and kai, meaning “effect, result, worth or benefit.” Combined: “a reason for living.” It’s the idea of seeking a purpose in everything you do in life. Hobbies, friendships, community and travel all add to your ikigai. This is relevant now more than ever and can help us be more intentionally in how we conduct ourselves in every aspect of our lives.

For the last few years, many of us have been putting one fire out after another. It is no wonder anxiety has become as prevalent as it has, at every turn there is something else threatening our health and wellness and so we have become keyed up to react automatically rather than respond intentionally. Ikigai can help us to address this.

Interested in learning more? Have a look at the brief roadmap to Ikigai below, then visit Elaine Mead’s article at https://darlingmagazine.org entitled “How the Japanese Concept of ‘Ikigai’ Can Help You Live More Intentionally.”

Annie Sneed at the New York Times recently published a piece exploring the findings and opinions of addictions psychiatrist Dr. Anna Lembke regarding our at times addictive relationships with our phones. Whether smartphone overuse constitutes a true addiction is still up for debate and, as with many things, when we feel the relationship is no longer healthy here are always ways to scale down. First we have to appreciate what drives the maladaptive relationship which, according to Lembke is Control (the behavior in questions s considered out of control or more present than it should be) Compulsion (being intensely mentally preoccupied with the behavior / performing it automatically); and Consequences (continued use in spite of negative social, physical and mental consequences). So what do we do with this?

• Take a ‘screen fast’: try  completely avoiding using all screens, not just phones, for anywhere from a few hours, to a do, to a month, whatever your life will allow. This is an especially helpful approach when going on vacation. Take note of which changes you observe in yourself during the fast, even if it lasts only an hour. If you like it, keep going!
  
  
• Set boundaries: Healthy boundaries are important in any relationship, including our relationship to technology. This is a less intense alternative to fasting, and might look like setting aside times of the day or days of the week when you don’t use your phone at all, such as before and after work, or on your lunch break (when many people are most tempted). It may also mean leaving your phone in the other room, keeping it out of your bedroom or putting everyone’s phone in a box outside of the kitchen during dinnertime.
  
  
• Make your smartphone less appealing: You can also make your phone less engaging. This might look like changing the screen to grayscale or turning off notifications, as well as uninstalling some of your more addicting apps (Wordle, we’re looking at you!) In addition you might periodically rearrange the apps on your phone so that they become harder to find and less likely to lure you into a mindless loop of checking and rechecking simply out of habit.

“The big question to ask yourself with screens is: ‘What else could I be doing right now? Is there something I could be doing that would be better for me?’” Dr. Alter said. “That’s important now more than ever because of how much time we’ve been forced to spend on screens during the pandemic.”

To read the full article, entitled “I’m Addicted to My Phone. How Can I Cut Back?” visit https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/08/well/live/smartphone-addiction-tips.html

Victor Wooten is an American bassist, songwriter, and record producer whose professional career spans nearly 40 years but who has been playing almost his entire life. In that time he has also formed his on record label, published his novel “The Music Lesson: A Spiritual Search for Growth Through Music” and earned five Grammy Awards along the way. How has he been so successful? He has treated music like any other language, which means maintaining a child-like mindset. This means, among other things, staying curious, being open to mistakes and learning from them, and simply learning by doing without judgement. Listen to Mr. Wooten in his own words in this TED-ED video.

What do you learn when you have lived for more than a century? What does it take to make it that long? These are some of the questions put to Cliff Crozier, John Denerley, and Emelia Tereza Harper, three centenarian. Their answers are beautiful and meaningful and, even in the difficulties, full of meaning and joy.

Fully half of U.S. workers are now experiencing burnout (feelings of exhaustion, ennui, and negativity toward one’s occupation, overall symptoms of depression and anxiety). The rise of remote work, mobile email, and other technologies has made it difficult to disconnect but doing so has become more important than ever. Creating rituals that help you disengage from work so you can fully savor your free time is key. Author Markham Heid reviews current research and offers recommendations which include:

• Finding and scheduling 30 minutes in the morning to write replies to E-mails that came in at the end of the previous day as you were preparing to wrap-up. Rather than just letting them linger, you have created a specific task for the next day and, in doing so, swapped out something your brain one categorize as n unfinished task for one that your brain can mark as “handled.”
• Knocking out simple, completable tasks at the end of the workday — and avoiding complicated ones — is another good way to psychologically disconnect.
• Don’t make checking (or worse, organizing) your inbox the last thing you do each day. “In terms of detachment, checking email is really a no-win scenario,” psychologist Brandon Smit says. “If there is nothing to attend to in your inbox, checking email was a small waste of time. If there is something urgent, a new task has now been activated in your mind, which will press for completion.”

You can read Markham Heid full article, “The Best Way to End Your Workday” at https://elemental.medium.com/the-best-way-to-end-your-workday-c91caf4677d5.

Looking for a novel approach to improving your wellness? Consider the healthy habit countdown challenge! Health behavior change is usually most successful when done gradually. Below you will find a countdown to guide you in that gradual change. In the coming weeks, consider focusing on one of these goals (steps, sleep, water intake, etc.) and only that goal for a period of two weeks. Once you have worked toward and maintained that goal, move on to the next. The order below will work for some, but if starting by upping your steps seems too much, and reducing electronic usage before bed is more feasible, start there. Reorder the list as needed, and then start your countdown to better health!

Whether it’s taking fruit to work or being polite to rude strangers there are countless ways to make your life better in the new year with little effort involved. The Guardian recently summarized this in their article “100 ways to slightly improve your life without really trying.” Below are the top 10, but check out the article for the full list at https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/01/marginal-gains-100-ways-to-improve-your-life-without-really-trying

• Exercise on a Monday night (nothing fun happens on a Monday night)
• On the fence about a purchase? Wait 72 hours before you buy it.
• Tip: the quickest supermarket queue is always behind the fullest cart (greeting, paying and packing take longer than you think).
• Bring fruit to work, bring fruit to bed!
• Consider going down to four days a week. It’s likely a disproportionate amount of your fifth day’s work is taxed anyway, so you’ll lose way less than a fifth of your take-home pay.
• Everyone has an emotional blind spot when they fight. Work out what yours is, and remember it.
• Plant spring bulbs, even if they’re just in a pot.
• Send a voice note instead of a text; they sound like personal mini podcasts.
• Keep a bird feeder by a window, ideally the kitchen. It’ll pass the time when you’re washing up.
• Always bring ice to house parties (there’s never enough).

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/jan/01/marginal-gains-100-ways-to-improve-your-life-without-really-trying

As we continue to round out the year we can acknowledge but the difficulties and challenges that we have faced individually and as a group, and also at the same time give some attention to the good things that have happened. To that end, the folks over at informationisbeautiful.net have put together an interactive graph of the most beautiful and inspirational news of the year. Whether you are interested in the environment, health, or community there were many good things. Check it out!

The folks over at The New York Times have provided many pieces of practical advice for getting and staying healthy this year. This week they provided a best-of their recommendations. Several are featured below; the full list is at NYTimes.com. Want a printable copy to inspire the office? Click here!

Jancee Dunn of the New York Times recently wrote: “Last winter, with the Covid-19 pandemic in full force, some families sat out the festivities, keeping celebrations with friends and family small or virtual. Some even admitted that the slower pace worked for them, said Thema Bryant, president-elect of the American Psychological Association and a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University. Now, with nearly 60 percent of the country fully vaccinated and restrictions loosened, all the things we took a pass on last year seem to be roaring back — and many are feeling uncomfortably out of practice when it comes to social situations. Not everyone, it turns out, is ready to party like it’s 2019.”

Whether you think you are completely ready for the holidays, are dreading it, Dunn offers the following advice that can help you get through the season. You can read her full article at, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Holiday Social Anxiety,” at NYTimes.com.

• Reflect on What You Missed (and Didn’t) During the Pandemic: We all only have so much social energy these days, so be sure to reflect on what you did and did not miss throughout the pandemic, and spend your social energy wisely only on those things that you truly missed.
• Leaving the House is a Win: If you have committed to leaving the house to socialize for even just a little you have already won. But be sure to prepare yourself before hand, have some tools to cope if you get overwhelmed during, and plan some self care afterward. For example, listen to music that matches you want to be in for the party before going, know where to sneak away to during the party to takes some deep breaths and reset and, when you get home, get right into your bedtime routine.
• Know the Difference Between Pre-Party Jitters and Anxiety: Nervousness before coming into a social setting is common, said Itai Danovitch, an associate professor and chair of the department of psychiatry and behavioral neurosciences at Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles. “But if you find that your anxiety is distressing and disproportionate and interferes with your daily living, and is preventing you from doing things that you would otherwise be doing, then that impact on function is an indicator that there’s a problem.” If this anxiety is persistent and recurs in multiple settings, Dr. Danovitch added, “it’s a good idea to be evaluated by a professional to determine if you have an anxiety disorder.”
• If You’ve Ventured Out, Be Present: Have a review of the wellness programs “Minute to Arrive” exercise and apply these principles as you get to your gathering, and keep them in mind if you need them throughout to stay present and focused on what is actually in front of you.

The period from late November through to the new year is marked by multiple secular and religious holidays. For many people these holidays can mean trying to balance multiple competing priorities, and ostensibly competing emotions. For those looking for some guidance on how to navigate this we can turn to the world of DBT, or Dialectical Behavioral Therapy.

In DBT, the term dialectical refers a synthesis or integration of opposites. Observing and reconciling these dialectics leads to relief of distress and overall improve wellbeing by helping people get unstuck from extreme positions, e.g. “either I host the perfect holiday dinner or I am a failure.”

The image below highlights a number of dialectics that people often get trapped in, especially during the holidays. Have a look, see which might hit home with you, and take a moment to consider how you can honor both sides of the dialectic today and going forward.

This week we continue to look at the topic was explored last week, resiliency. This week we specifically look what to do when you do not feel resilient, when you feel burn out, or when you just need a boost.

Karen Nimmo is a clinical psychologist and author from Aotearoa, New Zealand. She describes 7 ways to refill your tank when it feels empty. These methods are listed below, and you can read her full article at https://forge.medium.com/resilience-burnout-7-ways-to-cope-when-your-tank-is-empty-bf7cfa5320e1

1. Know when to quit the day.

I love this line from the young woman who was feeling she’d lost a chunk of her twenties. If you get to 3pm and absolutely nothing’s going right, take your foot off and quit the day. Curl up and have a cry if you need to. Know you’re not going to make your mark on anything today. Dump it in the way-too-hard-basket. And know that all feelings are temporary. Just because one day goes wrong doesn’t mean the next one will. Often, it’s quite the opposite. You can try again tomorrow.

2. Live in “day-tight compartments.”

One of the early founders of the self-help movement, Dale Carnegie had a strategy for reducing worry: “live inside day-tight compartments.” It’s a tidy way of saying take things one day at a time — to stay in the present, which is especially helpful during times of turmoil. Just live each day until bedtime.

3. Throw your heart over the bar.

One of the traps of feeling low is to do everything half-heartedly, which means you don’t enjoy anything much, you persistently feel like you’re going through the motions. So do fewer things. Or, better still, do one thing at a time. But whatever you do, bring all your focus to it. Do it with your whole heart. Your distracted mind will follow — at least for a little while.

4. Phone a friend.

Because it’s helpful for you to stay connected. But also just because someone, somewhere, may need a friendly ear. They may welcome a chat with you, they may benefit from it — and that confirms you as a good person. Bonus benefit: It takes you out of your own life (and head) into someone else’s.

5. Keep the routines but kill the to-do list.

Basic routines are helpful for framing your day. But 25 things on your to-do list? Seriously? Don’t do that, you’ll just end up transferring most of it to the next day and that’ll just make you feel bad. Be objective and real about your to-do list. Or throw the list out altogether and just do what you can.

6. Tiny, novelty projects

Routines help ground and steady us. But the downside is the sheer repetition of them. Humans are wired for novelty and stimulation. So we have to keep finding ways to spark our interest. Pick tiny, novelty projects that you can complete on the same day, or at least quickly. Cook a new dish, walk a new route, paint a picture, write a poem, put up a shelf, plant some seedlings. The rule is active — not passive, though. So finding a new TV show to stream doesn’t count. Aim for something that engages body as well as mind.

7. Remember to laugh.

There’s some really sad stuff going on in the world right now. And some shocking stuff, and some stuff to make you angry, all of which make it easy to lose your sense of humor — and feel guilty when you hang onto it. Even during suffering there are moments of weirdness, of fun, of joy. It’s a sign of emotional health that you can keep leaning into them.