fizur-philip@cooperhealth.edu – Page 21 – Compassion & Resiliency Experience (C.A.R.E.) Program

Feel Good Friday: A Good Deed a Day

This is an excerpt from the article “Romania activist urges people to do something good every day.” Read the full piece at APNews.com.

A gentle hero to many in Romania, Valeriu Nicolae says that, at heart, he is more like former NBA star Michael Jordan — highly competitive and eager to improve in what he does best. In Nicolae’s case that is helping others.

The Romanian rights activist has earned praise for his tireless campaign to improve the lives of the Balkan country’s poorest and least privileged residents, particularly children. This is a daunting task in the country of 19 million where hundreds of thousands of children lack basics and are unable to attend school.

Nicolae told The Associated Press that for society to change, individuals should, too. He also thinks it should become mandatory for politicians to help someone before they take public office.

“It should be the basics: do good things for others!” he said. “Even a tiny bit of good for someone around you, and no bad at all.”

Since starting in 2007, Nicolae’s humanitarian organization Casa Buna, or Good House, has taken upon itself to support and supervise 315 children.

Learn more about Nicolae’s work, and get ideas about how you can follow his lead, at APNews.com.

The Important Role of Art in the Time of COVID

This is an excerpt of the article “What Art Does for Us, And Why We Should Support It”, read the full piece at the New York Times

Recently, art critic Jason Farago made suggestions regarding what the Biden administration can do to provide relief for the arts, a sector that has been hit especially hard during the pandemic. He argues that the country is in urgent need of Aristotelian catharsis — of art, music, drama and the emotions they summon, saying “You go to the theater, you listen to a symphony, you look at a painting, you watch a ballet. You laugh, you cry. You feel pity, fear. You see in others’ lives a reflection of your own. And the catharsis comes: a cleansing, a clarity, a feeling of relief and understanding that you carry with you out of the theater or the concert hall. Art, music, drama — here is a point worth recalling in a pandemic — are instruments of psychic and social health.”

Farago advises Biden to create a new Works Progress Administration-style program treating artists as essential workers, and to make it easier for artists to receive unemployment benefits, among other recommendations.

We’re all waiting for things to open up so we can resume what we think of as normal life. Considering what that will take is daunting, but it makes the promise of going to a play, hearing live music or standing awed before a painting that much more exciting to anticipate.

When was the last time you had a strong emotional response to a play or film? The last time a book or painting freed you from “the feeling that there’s only one way to live, or only one way to go about your day,” as the writer Ben Lerner put it?

This is an excerpt of the article “What Art Does for Us, And Why We Should Support It”, read the full piece at the New York Times

Mindfulness Monday: Back to Basics – Breathing

We are now many months into the Mindfulness Monday series, and have experienced a variety of mindfulness exercises. But as any long term practitioner will tell you, no matter how long you engage in mindfulness, revisiting the basics will always be needed to keep you skills shape. As such, this week will be our first return the basics, starting with the most fundamental element, breathing. This week, our exercise is lead by John Davisi.

Feel Good Friday: 100 Dolls

This story is published by APNews.com, more information and media resources are available there.

In the wake of a massive explosion that devastated Beirut, 93-year-old Yolande Labaki sought a way to help bring healing to the Lebanese capital.

The internationally recognized painter’s solution was to make dolls — 100 of them, distributed to children traumatized or otherwise affected by the destruction.

Her inspiration was another Lebanese tragedy, etched in her memory: the look on the face of one of her grandchildren, then about 3, when his home was damaged during the country’s 1975-1990 civil war.

“He saw all his toys on the ground amid the rubble and asked me: ‘Who broke my toys?’ His eyes were filled with tears,” she said.

So when a huge stockpile of ammonium nitrate stored at the Beirut port ignited and blew up on Aug. 4 — killing more than 200 people, injuring thousands and leaving a swath of the city in ruins — Labaki thought of the children, and how “they, too, must be asking who broke their toys.”

Labaki gave herself a challenge, and a deadline.

“I said: ‘God, if you give me the power, I will make 100 of these by Christmas,’” she recalled.

And thus began a monthslong labor of love.

Getting the doll’s face just right — she wanted to make sure it wouldn’t scare the children — was difficult. The great-grandmother painstakingly embroidered features using a sewing machine, stuffed fabric with cotton and tailored tiny dresses. And then non-governmental organizations helped distribute the dolls.

Two went to the daughters of Beirut resident Georges Chlawuit. The blast blew out windows at the family home, he said.

“At least she thought of these poor kids after what has happened in the explosion,” he said. “May God keep her and give her good health. If it weren’t for how the Lebanese people came together, we wouldn’t have been able to stand back on our feet again.”

His daughters, he said, have been sleeping with their new dolls.

Labaki’s reward: photos with the beaming faces of girls who received her dolls.

“It’s a gift for me more so than it is for the children,” she said.

This story is published by APNews.com, more information and media resources are available there.

Coping with Societal Stressors

This is a summary of the article “What to do about that pit in your stomach in this terrifying American moment” from USAToday.com.

If you’re scared and anxious, you’re not alone.

Maybe you’re afraid about what happened last week, what will happen today, or maybe you’re afraid because you’re playing the tape even further forward.

There does not seem to be a single word to describe what we are experiencing.

“This is an unprecedented moment and people have every right to feel the way that they’re feeling, but we have to take care of ourselves even when things are bad,” said Vaile Wright, senior director of health care innovation at the American Psychological Association. “It’s about focusing on what’s in your control – your thoughts, your feelings, your behavior – and it’s about doing a check-in with yourself and asking, ‘how am I doing and how can I assert some control in a situation that feels out of control?'”

How to Cope During Turmoil

Focus on what you can control Anita Kanti, author of “Behaving Bravely: How to Mindshift Life’s Challenges.”	This moment offers both uncertainty and opportunity to continue to navigate a new normal in which we recognize how tenuous it all is. How tenuous it always was. The only certainty we have is around our own attitudes and behaviors. This perspective, can help us not feel disempowered with outward chaos.
Look at the Big Picture Afton Kapuscinski, director of the Psychological Services Center at Syracuse University˜	Watching the chaos on TV, the chilling images on loop, it’s easy to catastrophize, in those moments it can be helpful to look at the big picture. The justifiable emotions we feel can leave us paralyzed or overwhelmed and contribute to hopelessness and mental health difficulty at a time when we are already dealing with so many challenges as a nation. We feel stuck. A pitfall that often increases the likelihood of being ‘stuck’ is failing to look at the full picture and focusing more narrowly on a single event or series of upsetting events. There is a way to acknowledge the magnitude of this moment while also taking into account other data points that suggest things like our democracy are still functioning – courts have found our election processes are fair and counts are accurate, and most lawmakers desire to uphold the will of the people. “If you are struggling emotionally today, try to ‘zoom out’ and see if you are neglecting any important hopeful, positive indicators,” she said.
Take a Break Vaile Wright, senior director of health care innovation at the American Psychological Association	When stressful situations begin to impact basic functioning, it’s important to enforce limits. If you’re having a visceral reaction to watching or reading the news – that pit in your stomach, for example – consider shutting down. Take a walk. Read a book. “You should take breaks from watching the news, especially now because what we’re seeing are the same images over and over again,” Wright said. “Even if you feel you’re going to learn something new, you’re probably not. This includes social media too.” Also be mindful of activities you engage in right before bed. If you want to check the news one more time, make sure to give yourself at least an hour to calm down.
Ground Yourself Mary Alvord, a licensed psychologist in Rockville, Maryland	This will look different for everyone. It can be breath work, holding your breath in for a full count and letting it out for a full count. It can be dinner with family, a watch party with friends, or a phone call to someone you know will make your feelings a priority. Reach for what centers and de-stresses you. “You need to calm down, so that you can come back and have some perspective,” Alvord said.
Practice gratitude Afton Kapuscinski, director of the Psychological Services Center at Syracuse University	This may seem counterintuitive in the midst of multiple national crises, but research indicates gratitude practice improves well-being in the face of adversity and distress. “Examine your life and context at micro and macro levels and identify what is going well rather than what is going wrong,” she said. “Gratitude is not about minimizing tragic or difficult events, rather, it is about elevating and enjoying the positive ones.”

This is a summary of the article “What to do about that pit in your stomach in this terrifying American moment” from USAToday.com.

Mindfulness Monday: Kindness

The events that took place January 6^th in our nation’s capital have left many of us even further shaken after an already difficult 10 months of pandemic related stress and racial turmoil. These events were fueled by fear and anger, two emotions that, while natural, can be very dangerous when left unchecked or, in an even worse case scenarios, exploited. The problem is not the emotions themselves, of course, but the behaviors that we choose in reaction to them. Unfortunately, bad actions on one part are likely to spark fear and anger on the part of others who, in turn, engage in unhelpful behaviors in the face of their own emotions and so on, and so forth, until everyone is hurting. So what do we do?

Sadly, there is no simple solution. The problems laid before us have existing throughout much of our history and have been looming larger with each passing year. To really see change will require intervention at every level of society but, as with most things, we can start with ourselves. Today’s mindfulness exercise, known in the mindfulness community as “Loving-Kindness” is meant to help with that. So let’s begin.

Feel Good Friday: A Helping Pedigree

Read the full story at APNews.com

When Marybeth Hearn was 10, she asked her parents if she could train a puppy to become a guide dog. It turned into a lifelong mission.

Over more than five decades, Hearn has raised 56 dogs to assist visually impaired people. But her legacy doesn’t end there — the longtime, recently retired high school teacher has inspired several family members and dozens of students to turn out many more.

When she approached her parents decades ago, prospects seemed unlikely. Her mom didn’t like dogs, and her dad secretly doubted she would be able to find a sponsor to pay for the cost of the training.

Back in 1962, Hearn was so determined, however, that she presented the project at a Lions Club and raised $2,500.

Two sons and a granddaughter have followed in Hearn’s footsteps, but her greatest impact has come from mentoring a generation of student trainers who since 1992 have worked with 170 dogs that ended up in a range of service posts. This tradition and the classes on which they are based have remained strong all these year.

Even after classes went virtual in March due to the coronavirus, the program continued and has since turned out 12 puppies.

Read the full story at APNews.com

SMART Goals for the New Year

With every new year comes a new opportunity to resolve to move ourselves closer to the person we want to be. Often times, though, we aim to high and set ourselves up for failure. The better bet is to set SMART goals.

S – Specific: Be specific about what you want to accomplish. Do not just say “I will lose weigh.” Rather, identifying one calorie rich part of your diet (soda, chocolate, chips) and set an intention to eliminate one serving per day for two weeks. If you succeed, build on that success, if it does not work out, let yourself be OK with it, learn from it, and adjust the goal. When setting these goals, it is often helpful to answer the Who, What, When, Why, and How that will need to happen to meet the goal.

M – Measurable: We all measure success differently. Chose a measure for your goal that makes sense. If you want to lose weight, perhaps the measure is one pound per week, perhaps it’s 100 less calories per day. If it is to sleep, perhaps it is one extra hour per night. But again, by specific and chose a measure that works for you.

A – Achievable: Resolving to lose 20 pounds in one month is likely to large a goal. Even under ideal conditions (which a pandemic is now), losing that much in the short a period of time is likely not realistic. More achievable would be 1 to 2 pounds per week, which is what is recommended as a safe pace.

R – Relevant: This is an easy one. If your goal is to lose weight, setting a sub-goal to increase professional attainment may be helpful, and a good goal, but has little to nothing to do with losing weight. Chose something that directly impacts weight, like food choices, meal schedules, or physical activity.

T – Time-Bound: Human beings work best when there are deadlines. Set realistic deadlines for each small goal. When changing habits, usually two weeks is a good place to start. If you can make a change stick for two weeks straight, you are more likely to stick with it long term. But you know yourself best, perhaps you need a month. Whatever it is, set a deadline and stick to it. If you meet your goal, great, if not, learn why not, adjust, and try again.

Mindfulness Monday: Intentions for 2021

Many of us begin each new year by making resolutions, and for many with whom we have spoken recently, these goals are related to things that did not happen in 2020, but that they hope will happen in 2021 as we learn to better control and live with COVID-19.

While goals are good, mindfulness is often more focused on intentions. There is a difference between goals and intentions, and there is a time and place for each.

Goals, by their nature, take us out of the present moment, which runs contrary to the fundamental principle of mindfulness. This usually happens by creating a discrepancy between what we are experiencing now and what we would like to happen, and this discrepancy can lead to feelings that we are not good enough until the discrepancy is resolved.

Intentions on the other hands are centered in the present and, by their nature, suggest that at the moment you set the intention, you have accomplished what you set out to do, almost like an instant success. An intention cannot fail, because it happens right now, and thus does not lead to a discrepancy. For example, if you set an intention as you begin a mindfulness practice along the lines of “I will just start the exercise and see what happens” you invite curiosity and remain open to whatever you find, rather than setting an expectation.

Another difference is that Intentions are generally internal, and related to our state, whereas goals tend to be focused on something external, and involve many things outside of the self. When we focus on intentions, our satisfaction rests only on ourselves rather than being contingent on something outside of ourselves.

If 2020 has taught us anything, it is that things external to us are never guaranteed, and so practicing setting intentions may help leave us in a better place to maintain a sense of normalcy and consistency when the world around us becomes full of uncertainty. So, while it is good to have some goals for 2021, let us also begin the practice of setting intensions, which will be the focus of today’s exercise.

The Kindness Year in Review

To say that 2020 has been a difficult year would be a historical underestimate. The difficulties often take front and center, and yet amidst a pandemic, grappling with race in our country, and the countless other challenges this year has brought there have been just as many if not more acts of kindness. While we cannot ignore the bad, we must not lose sight of the good, and so today we share the Associated Press Top 10 Acts of Kindness of 2020, some highlights of some of the good things that have helped get through the bad.

THE TUTU GIRLS: Four young cancer survivors who met, became fast friends and supported each other while in treatment at a hospital in Florida four years ago didn’t let the pandemic keep them from their annual reunion. Known as the “tutu girls” for their matching outfits, the 6- and 7-year-olds held their meetup on Zoom. One of the moms got the idea for the dance costumes to raise awareness about childhood cancer, and a tradition was born.
A BIRTHDAY PARADE: A fire truck blared its sirens, police flashed lights on cruisers and dozens of families in a car parade honked horns, raised signs and yelled: “Happy birthday, Jessiah!” None of them knew 6-year-old Jessiah Lee, but they all showed up for the surprise drive-by birthday party in Arlington, Virginia, organized on social media and inspired by similar celebrations that have brought joy to many children and adults during the quarantine.
CLASSROOM ON WHEELS: When Guatemala’s schools in closed mid-March, teacher Gerardo Ixcoy invested his savings in a secondhand tricycle that he and his brother converted into a mobile classroom. Each day the 27-year-old set out pedaling among the cornfields of Santa Cruz del Quiché to bring socially distanced lessons to his sixth-graders’ homes and yards.
MAKING SWEET MUSIC: Members of the National Orchestra of France filmed themselves playing Ravel’s “Bolero” alone at home during lockdown. Then, like building a musical jigsaw puzzle, a sound engineer stitched together their individual clips into a seamless and rousing whole. Posted online, the performance helped the musicians keep in touch with each other and with the audiences they sorely missed.
NEWLYWEDS GIVING BACK: Darshana Kumara Wijenarayana and Pawani Rasanga spent months planning a grand wedding only to see it derailed by the pandemic. Family and friends urged the Sri Lankan couple to postpone the party, but instead they chose to celebrate their love by marrying simply and then spending the day feeding the poor.
CHEERS FOR HEROES: In hard-hit European cities, residents took a moment each night to express gratitude to doctors, nurses and other health care workers. From Athens and Amsterdam to Rome and Madrid, people stood at windows or on balconies singing, cheering and applauding those on the front lines.
TEENAGE SUPPLY PILOT: TJ Kim doesn’t even have his driver’s license yet, but he’s already flying across Virginia delivering medical supplies to small, rural hospitals in need. The 16-year-old turned his weekly flight lessons into relief missions carrying precious pandemic cargo like gloves, masks, gowns and other equipment.
TRUMPETING ON HIGH: Rio de Janeiro firefighter Elielson Silva devised a novel approach to curing the coronavirus blues. Riding a fire truck’s retractable ladder as high as 200 feet, he played Brazilian tunes from that lofty perch as residents in isolation watch from their windows and applaud, flush with a restored sense of community.
TAKE MY LAND: The acreage that Kim Byung-rok bought on a quiet mountain in South Korea a few years ago was meant for farming and fresh air. But after the pandemic hit, he offered a big chunk of it to the local government, figuring it could be put to good use helping others.
TUTORING THE WORLD: A teacher at a public school in Lagos, Nigeria, helped students across the country and abroad learn math remotely during coronavirus lockdowns. Basirat Olamide Ajayi’s free online classes became a lifeline for many children who were kept away from classrooms for months.

Read the full story at APNews.com.