Occasionally this wellness blog will share information whose sole intent is to, rather motivate you to take action, just feel good. Today is such a post, and it comes to us via this Washington Post story about photographer David Suh. His goal is to elevate the everyday people through portraits. Suh has since created posing tutorial on TikTok and elsewhere. “His work and videos are built on his unshakable belief that you are camera-ready exactly as you are. ‘For me, everyone is inherently beautiful,’ he tells [the Post] over Zoom from a low-lit nook in his studio. ‘Just the fact that they exist is beautiful.’ All you need to look fantastic in photos, he insists, is some posing and picture-taking practice, plus — and he knows this is the hard part — genuine faith in your own innate beauty, as defined on your terms and no one else’s.”

Suh gives a combination of general and practical advice. He says “you build who you are, and because you feel more secure in your identity, to me, that is what is attractive.” And that, in turn, “applies to being attractive on film. When you get to express that … you get to represent yourself the way you want to.” But he has also built a library of practical guides. He posts a combination of useful how-tos and earnest affirmations. You can find him responding to a disabled trans man seeking guidance on how to pose with his walker; showing a woman how to take solo pictures (which built to an impassioned takedown of the way society tells women not to take up space); offering a posing guide that contrasts a “Shy Couple” with a “Power Couple.” He ends his practical-yet-playful lessons with a duck quack sound effect.

Want to learn more? Check Suh out at https://www.tiktok.com/@davidsuh/

Andee Tagle (she/her) is a reporter-producer for NPR’s Life Kit podcast. She recently posted an article discussing some key aspects of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Specifically the role of our automatic thoughts and the language we use to describe ourselves and our experiences. You can read the full article at https://www.npr.org/2022/11/04/1133860237/stop-hurting-your-own-feelings-tips-on-quashing-negative-self-talk and below is a brief summary to consider.

Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend In our episode on how to curb negative self-talk, psychologist Joy Harden Bradford says to be aware of the harmful things we might say to ourselves. So the next time you’re tempted to disparage your looks or criticize your decision-making, ask yourself: would I talk this way to my best friend? If not, practice “using the same kind and gentle language that we use with the people we love” on yourself, says Bradford. “Because we’re also people who we hopefully love, right?” Listen to the episode here.

‘SIFT’ through what people say about you The acronym SIFT (source, impact, frequency and trends), developed by research scientist Mike Caulfield, can help you figure out whether you should listen to feedback from others or just ignore it. Say someone calls you out for poor email communication. Did that criticism come from someone you trust and value? Is it demanding a big change or a minor tweak to your behavior? Is this something you’ve heard from other people? And have you heard this from different communities in your life, or just at work? Consider these points before deciding to act. Listen to the episode here.

Don’t forget that our brains have a tendency to focus on the negative The mind is a tricky thing. It can lead us to fixate, for example, on one bad aspect of a year-end review from a manager instead of their positive feedback. This is called “negativity bias,” says Yale psychology professor Woo-kyoung Ahn, and it illustrates our propensity to weigh negative events a lot more heavily than an equal amount of positive events. This “thinking error,” she says, is dangerous because it can lead us to make the wrong choices. Find out how to counteract this bias here.

Don’t dwell on something that bothers you — talk about it If someone you love is causing you distress, don’t be afraid to communicate with them about it, says psychologist Adia Gooden. It may help clear up any assumptions you may have and offer new perspectives about the incident. For example, instead of jumping to conclusions if your partner is always on their phone at dinnertime, you might say to them: “Because you’re always on your phone, I feel like you don’t think I’m worthy of your attention,” says Gooden. “And they might say, ‘Oh, shoot, I didn’t mean to be on my phone. Or, you know, I’ve been kind of frustrated with you and I didn’t know how to bring it up. So I’ve been looking at my phone instead of making eye contact. Let’s talk.” Listen to the episode here.

Adapt a ‘growth mindset’ Instead of defining yourself by your failures or limitations, consider every loss as part of your learning process. This idea, developed by psychologist Carol Dweck, is called a “growth mindset,” and it can help bolster that internal dialogue when you’ve taken an L and can’t stop kicking yourself about it. Let’s say you lose a round of pool. Those with a fixed mindset, she says, think that talent and intelligence are static: I give up, I’ll never get good at this! Growth-minded people believe that effort can lead to mastery: Hey! I’m getting a lot better at putting some power behind the ball! It’s all about finding the right perspective. Listen to the episode here.

Yup, it’s about that time again. The end of daylight saving is nigh. For many the extra hour of sleep as welcomed, but for most any change to routine, especially our sleep routine, can have a number of undesirable downstream effects. To that end, Holly Burns as the New York Times wellness blog has compiled a list of things to consider as we prepare for this year’s tradition. Some of this tips are below, you can read the full article at NYTimes.com.

• Try shifting your bedtime 30 minutes later a few days in advance, so that by Sunday, the time on the clock is closer to the time your body feels it is, said Jennifer Martin, a professor of medicine at the University of California, Los Angeles, and president of the board of directors for the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. That means, though, that you should also be sleeping 30 minutes later in the mornings, which isn’t feasible for everyone.
• Extra time in bed sounds glorious to some, but it can be hard if you struggle with insomnia, said Dr. Martin, because “the night basically just got an hour longer.” In that case, focus on keeping the time you spend in bed the same, rather than the time you fall asleep. So if you usually spend eight hours in bed — say, between 10:30 p.m. and 6:30 a.m. — go to bed an hour later on Saturday night, which may reduce your chances of lying awake during the night.
• Move your workout. It can be demoralizing to find that the pleasant afternoon stroll you’ve been accustomed to is now a gloomy trudge through the dark. Shifting your walk, run or bike ride to the morning means you’ll get a dose of direct morning light, which is important for regulating sleeping and waking habits. Your cortisol spikes, giving you energy, and your brain stops producing the sleep hormone melatonin.
• Eat with care. Aim to stick to your normal mealtimes once the clocks change — so if you were eating dinner at 6:30 p.m., keep eating at 6:30 p.m., said Hayley Wilkes, an integrative nutritionist in Chicago who works with clients to navigate potential disruptions to their eating habits. Prepare the week before by gradually shifting mealtimes forward 15 minutes, so your body gets used to eating a little later.
• Seek creative activities. In the days after we put the clocks back, it’s natural to feel sad that summer is over or frustrated that some activities aren’t an option anymore, Dr. Hill said. A Danish study of more than 185,000 people over 17 years found that the transition to standard time was associated with an 11 percent increase in depressive episodes. As it gets colder and darker, it may be tempting to indulge in nothing more mentally taxing than a Netflix binge, but sedentary behavior and media consumption are strongly associated with decreased life satisfaction and increased depression, said Dr. Hill. Instead, try to focus on “activities where you create rather than consume.”

Happiness, Joy, and Meaning are related, but ultimately separate, concepts.

• Happiness: to the pleasurable feelings that result from a situation, experience, or objects
• Joy: a state of mind that can be found even in times of grief or uncertainty.
• Meaning: Taking the opportunity to define our own purpose, and taking responsibility for ourselves and other human beings

Recently, Harvard physician Stephanie Collier, MD, MPH wrote a piece describing how one can find joy, or at least peace, during difficult times.

Dr. Collier hilights the distinction amongst joy, happiness, and meaning in that “We can work on cultivating joy independent of our circumstances. Winning the lottery may trigger (short-term) happiness; spending time engaging in meaningful activities may result in long-term joy.” This, then, gives us guidance on how to navigate times of tumult. She ultimately highlights that doing the work of finding joy can lead to a stronger immune system and decrease stress hormones, improve pain, and relieve depression, all helping us to live longer. Check our her tips for finding joy below, or read the full article at Harvard Health.

• Perform regular aerobic physical activity. Think of physical activity as releasing a bubble bath of neurotransmitters — and their effects linger long after the exercise is over.
• Dedicate yourself to others. Activities such as volunteering produce greater joy than focusing on oneself.
• Connect with your spiritual side. When we join with something larger than ourselves, we develop feelings of gratitude, compassion, and peace. Meditation is a powerful way to modify brain pathways to increase joy.
• Discover something new. As humans, we are hard-wired to experience joy when experiencing novelty. Developing a new pursuit can help us refocus our energy.
• Give yourself permission to take a few moments of pleasure, especially when you are feeling low. You can try NPR’s Joy Generator for a taste.
• Pay attention to the good. A joyous mindset can be developed, but takes practice. The three good things exercise helps you keep an eye out for the positives during the day.
• Conversely, limit negativity. Whether it’s gossipy coworkers, a toxic relationship with a family member, or a complaining friend, spending time around a negative mindset influences us directly. It’s okay to set limits.
• Focus your efforts on what brings meaning to your life (and don’t focus on money).
• Ask your doctor about whether your medications can affect your ability to experience pleasure, especially if you are taking antidepressants.

Living through a period in which there is so much that divides it is sometimes helpful to also attend to what we have in common, and what keeps us going. To that end, the New York Times’ Well Desk recently surveyed their readers and asked what their wellness “non-negotiables” are. Thousands of people shared practices that anchor and animate their days. You can read a few examples below or the full article at nytimes.com. But today perhaps ask yourself, what are your wellness non-negotiables? And can you share that with someone else? These might be ways to stay grounded, become healthier, or just a little bit happier.

“I use different plates for breakfast on the weekends. Rather than the grab-and-go-shovel-in-the-food weekday morning routine, my bright blue and yellow plates with bread, jams and fruit are a reminder to enjoy life, slow down and savor.”

“Every morning I walk around our town for what I call my Banana Walk. My wife dislikes the smell of bananas in the house, and I love her, so I take my banana and spend the next hour figuring out the universe, life, and while I’m at it, my work day.”

“Every morning — all year — my husband and I do a “bird sit,” a 20- to 60-minute phone-free time when we watch the birds from our patio. The first time I did this practice was at a weekend workshop; it was the first time in over 10 years that I’d been by myself, sitting quietly without my children and without my phone. I thought I was going to burst it felt so long. Now, the practice is just as important to my day as eating breakfast and getting to work. Our 7-year-old often joins us. In the winter, we get bundled in sleeping bags. We have a family of sharp shinned hawks we’ve been watching, and hummingbirds come so close we can hold them in our hands.”

“I used to read all the time when I was younger and wanted to get back into it. For the last few months, it’s become a non-negotiable for me to read for at least half an hour a day. It usually ends up being more than that, but on days when I’m exhausted or busy with other things, I cut it off at my mandatory 30 minutes. Since I started reading every day, I’ve become more productive overall. I feel like my imagination has improved since I’m watching less TV and spending less time scrolling on my phone. My mind is moving more, and I feel more present in my life.”

“Having tea with my 11-year-old son after school. He likes iced mint tea with some honey; I go for English Breakfast with a splash of soy milk. It’s our time to connect, joke around and chat about the day. It doesn’t have to last long — maybe 15 to 20 minutes. I cherish this mom-son teatime and look forward to it every school day!”

“At least once a day, I choose to savor a moment of joy. The occasion might be a taste of delicious food, a laugh with a loved one, finding a prize parking spot, discovering my next library book, catching a glimpse of the moon through my upstairs window. It’s amazing how these wonders multiply when I come to see them as ubiquitous gifts, not rare anomalies.”

Lesley Alderman is a Brooklyn-based psychotherapist who recently wrote a piece for the Washington Post describing what she feels is an unusually high degree of weariness in the people coming to her for therapy. She feels she has noticed a trend wherein those who had been concerned about national and world events and visibly frightened during the pandemic now seem exhausted. Related, she feels many are experiencing a deficit of optimism, and are overwhelmed about important issues that are beyond their control. Ms. Alderman has labeled this “hope fatigue” and feels it is, in least in part, due to the fact that humans were just not designed for this level of chronic threat to every aspect of our lives. To counter this, she offers the following practical advice to counter this problem. We encourage you to pick just one of these interventions to start, try implementing it over the next two weeks before trying another.

What would it look like if we flipped the script on happiness? Rather than viewing it as the logical outcome of good things, could we look at happiness as the cause of good things? It is these questions and more that Dr. Ed Diener attempts to answer in his lecture “The New Science of Happiness.” Dr. Diener was a psychologist, professor, and author at the University of Utah and the University of Virginia as well as a senior scientist for the Gallup Organization. He is noted for his research over the past thirty years on happiness, including work on temperament and personality influences on well-being, theories of well-being, income and well-being, cultural influences on well-being, and the measurement of well-being. His body of work ha been cited over 257,000 times and remains impactful to this day. Check out his lecture below!

The following is summarized from the NPR article “How to have real fun — even when life’s got you down” which can be read in full at https://www.npr.org/2022/02/22/1082374139/how-to-have-fun-and-why-you-should

Catherine Price, author of “The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again,” defines fun as a time when you are able to embody a mix of three things: playfulness, connection and flow.

Playfulness – “I don’t mean you have to play a game. You don’t have to play make-believe, you have to do charades,” says Price. Playfulness is when you embrace a spirit of lightheartedness and freedom. It means letting go of the idea that you have to be perfect or to achieve something.

Connection – You feel a sense of connection with the activity that you’re doing. You feel a sense of connection with your physical body. Or, most likely, you feel a sense of connection with another person or group of people through a shared experience.

Flow – You know that thing where you’re totally immersed in something and can even lose track of time? That.

Price also offers a handy acronym to help bring more fun in your days: SPARK

S — make Space for fun! Put your phone down, or even set aside some time on your calendar to make sure you are really dedicating yourself to looking for fun.

P — Pursue passions. “You don’t need to put pressure on yourself and think ‘I’m going to become a professional snowboarder,'” Price says. Set the bar low! Look for things that interest you and let those guide you.

A — A is for attracting fun, which means having an open mind about when and where fun might appear. Price recommends an improv-style “yes, and” approach to having fun, where you look for fun as well as jump into other folks’ fun.

R — Rebellion! Price found in her research that a little bit of gentle rebellion was a good way to make fun happen. So, jump in a pool with your clothes on! Go roller skating in the middle of the night! Stepping out of what is expected of you can be a great way to seek out fun moments.

K — Keep at it! Like any new practice, the only way to really incorporate it into your life is to try it many times. So don’t give up if basket weaving doesn’t work for you — maybe it’ll be guitar or making zines or working in the community garden that becomes your next fun magnet!