10 Things to Tell Yourself When Going Through a Hard Time

Author Lori Deschene runs the website tinybuddha.com. She shared that her site “is about reflecting on simple wisdom and learning new ways to apply it to our complex lives—complete with responsibilities, struggles, dreams, and relationships.” In one of her most recent posts she offers 10 suggestions on how weather the storms that will invariably come our way. They are as follows, but feel free to visit her post or download them in poster form!

1. You don’t have to feel guilty about feeling sad, bad, anxious, angry, or any other “negative” feeling. You’re not a “negative person.” You’re human.

2. You have a right to feel how you feel even if other people have it worse. Your pain is valid, regardless of what anyone else is going through.

3. You’re doing the best you can based on your life experiences, traumas, conditioning, beliefs, current challenges, and coping skills. As you learn new skills, you’ll cope better, but you may still struggle to apply what you’ve learned, and that’s okay. No one copes perfectly in an imperfect situation.

4. You don’t have to push yourself to be productive. It’s okay to rest or do the bare minimum when you’re struggling. This isn’t being lazy; it’s being kind to yourself—and you deserve it.

5. You’re not “falling behind.” It’s possible that you’re exactly where you need to be to learn, grow, and heal, meaning someday you might look back and consider this chapter a crucial part of your life journey.

6. You don’t have to please or impress anyone else, including yourself. Sometimes it’s enough just to live and make it through the day.

7. You don’t need to have anything figured out right now. You just need to take it one day at a time, trusting that you’ll find answers and solutions if you keep moving forward.

8. You are not alone, and you don’t have to pretend or hide. There are people who care and want to help—and because they’ve struggled too, they understand and would never judge you.

9. You won’t feel this way forever. Just as you’ve survived dark times before, you’ll eventually get past this and maybe even feel proud of yourself for how you made it through.

10. Nothing is guaranteed in the future, but you have the strength to handle whatever might be coming, and the capacity to make the best of it.