Autism and Wellness Week 3: In Their Own Words

This month’s wellness series has so far focused on building awareness and fostering acceptance to promote wellness in the Autism community. But, as is the case for any group, it is often most helpful to hear directly from the lived experiences of those who are members of that community. So for this week’s Autism Acceptance wellness post we are sharing an article in which different folks from different places on the spectrum share their experiences of what it is like to navigate wellness in a world that often runs contrary to their ideals and needs. This piece was written by Marianne Eloise in collaboration with Dana Glauser, LCSW, and Anna Harris.


In my ideal world, I’d live inside a spa—only leaving to buy necessities like snacks. In my current, more realistic life, I put a lot of effort into making my bedroom and bathroom feel a sanctuary. Every aspect is designed for maximum peace and comfort. Think: cotton sheets, scented candles, warm lamps, and new products. Every single day I make sure to spend as much time alone in these spaces as I can, diligently following a nightly routine of stretching, bathing, acupressure, and skincare in an environment designed just for me. While all of these behaviors fall under the overused buzzword of “wellness,” for me, as an autistic person, they’re necessary.

Autism spectrum disorder encompasses many ways of experiencing the world, but something we all tend to share is sensory processing issues.1 This can mean extreme sensitivity to some stimuli, like certain textures or sounds. We struggle to process things in the same way someone else might, which can lead to sensory overload and meltdowns, but we’re also driven to seek out positive sensory experiences to enjoy with a unique intensity.

In recent years, tools designed to help keep autistic people stimulated—like fidget spinners—have been assimilated into everyday life. More recently, weighted blankets, designed to help prevent autistic meltdowns, have found their way into more common usage for everything from anxiety to feeling nice. While this could de-stigmatize the use of these tools, it also makes it difficult to explain why you need something that everyone else finds to be a fun novelty. Similarly, a cultural fixation with the ever-growing industry of “wellness” has made it so the significance for those who need curated sensory experiences to function is lost.

Autistic people need structure and often engage in repetitive behavior, so we thrive on routine. Tom, 35, has a number of elaborate sensory rituals. He owns 10-15 different types of lighting which he uses along with a projector or VR while he’s in the bath every day. “A comfortable environment filled with the kinds of sights, sounds, and smells to help you relax can go a long way in allowing a neurodivergent person to focus without distractions and triggers. It gives us a level playing field to think and emotionally respond to things in a much more natural way,” he says. Many autistic people have dopamine processing anomalies,2 but by building up these coping mechanisms, Tom creates an environment that makes it possible to function: “Our bodies don’t naturally react well to a lot of the stimuli in the world, but these are things we do react well to and have control over. It makes sense for us to seek them out and work them into a routine to improve our general moods,” Tom says.

A cultural fixation with the ever-growing industry of “wellness” has made it so the significance for those who need curated sensory experiences to function is lost.

I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 27—but growing up, I had frequent meltdowns and burnouts as a result of overwhelming stimuli. I didn’t understand why everything felt so bad. All I knew was if someone came near me with an itchy sweater I would scream, lashing out at them and insisting that it hurts. That’s how it felt, and how it still feels to me: a wrongness, an itch that is so deep it burns my skin. I will not eat anything outside my limited selection of “good” foods and I have extreme reactions to noisy environments. The only thing that really ever felt good was swimming. I knew once I was underwater, the world became silent and dark and my body was wrapped in water. I didn’t want to get out.

As I got older, I began to understand the link between my senses and wellbeing. I gained new awareness that I was different and started to orient my life around my sensory needs. For example, I only wear certain materials and comfortable clothes, which means most of my wardrobe is loungewear and the rest consists of the same American Apparel skirt in five different colors. I only surround myself with colors that feel “right,” struggling to look at anything bright. My home is quiet, I eat what I want, I wear earplugs and an eye mask to sleep, and I avoid situations I know will send me into meltdown. As a result, I have a much easier time being who I am. In the absence of these negative triggers, I fill my life with carefully curated sensory experiences to put me back in touch with myself. 

Lindsay, 37, was only recently diagnosed as autistic but has always known she had different sensory needs, and created rituals to fulfill them. “I got really into wellness for a while but it didn’t feel like a ‘spiritual’ expression for me. It felt more like a way to understand and manage the unique energy I had that I didn’t totally understand,” she says. On a daily basis, Lindsay “stims,” a term for the movements that autistic people do to seek stimulation. She uses tools like Chewlery, adult jewelry that you can chew on, fidget toys from Black Girl Lost Keys and handmade stimulation toys from A Sense of Self. Being able to use these tools is integral in preventing Lindsay from shutting down. “I find it pretty strange that ‘wellness’ stimming is seen as socially acceptable and ‘autistic-type’ stimming is not,” she adds.

What is Stimming?

A self-stimulatory behavior that is marked by a repetitive action or movement of the body.

Lindsay puts her wellness rituals into two categories: “preventative” (things that allow her to start with a good sensory baseline) and “rescue” (things to be brought back down from sensory overwhelm). Her preventative behaviors include a morning tea ritual. The movements of scooping and pouring, the way the tea smells, and the feeling of steam put her in a good place. Her rescue behaviors include baths, lights, and candles. “The salt bath is usually unscented salt. I like to soak in the water and enjoy the splashing water sounds. It’s calming and centering,” she says. She also uses a dim-colored light in her bedroom and sound baths to recover from meltdowns. Without these behaviors, Lindsay says she either has a meltdown or just feels “off.”

While these rituals are likely to improve anyone’s mood, they can be essential to autistic people’s wellbeing. We may not have interoception, which is the internal sense of what a person feels or what they need.3 Throughout the day, without intervention, I will forget to eat, drink, or even go to the bathroom. My body feels completely separate to my brain, and I don’t even know that I’m in pain until it’s too late. While I can’t fake having a sense of interoception, what I can do is have time daily to deliberately get in touch with my body. I force myself to finish work and I go to do some stretching and yoga in a dark room with a nice-smelling candle, drink lots of water, and have a long bath. Without that routine, I’m much more likely to burnout, lose the ability to speak, or have a meltdown (if not that day, then soon). 

What Is Interoception?

Interoception is the perception of sensations from inside the body and includes the perception of physical sensations related to internal organ function such as heart beat, respiration, satiety, as well as the autonomic nervous system activity related to emotions.

Chloé, 23, is an autistic influencer and advocate who goes by Princess Aspien. Her daily sensory rituals are diverse depending on her needs. “When I need more input, dancing, singing, and stimming help me to gain that,” she says. “When I need less input, allowing myself to retract from the world is incredibly vital for me to be able to continue to function, be settled, and be happy.” Without the ability to sensory seek in a way that she needs, Chloé shuts down. “Allowing myself both the time and understanding of what I need is absolutely vital to me as a neurodivergent person,” she shares. However, she also finds joy in her sensory-seeking activities. “As a neurodivergent person, my body needs more help with sensory input than someone who’s neurotypical,” Chloé says. “It’s so important we reduce that stigma both within our own community and as a society, and create the understanding that sensory differences and sensory seeking are a normal, vital thing.” 

Tom has found that by occupying and overwhelming all of his senses with good stimuli, he can take his mind off everything else and be present: “Our external environments have more of an effect over us in getting to a place of internal calm,” he says. Basically, the same principles as mindfulness or wellness for anyone apply, but to an extreme extent. While these things reduce pain and the risk of meltdown, they are also incredibly enjoyable for us. “These behaviors activate our senses and our bodies respond to them more intensely, so we are drawn to them,” Tom says. 

Conversations around sensory-seeking behaviors are often negative and geared towards parents to make their kids stop “stimming,” as it’s often considered “inappropriate” or “embarrassing.” What people miss is not only the necessity of these behaviors, but how much joy and comfort can be found in them. Without the ability to control my own sensory experience, like Chloé, I do shut down. But exploring new ways of feeling good, whether it’s through bath products, new candles, massages, acupuncture, playing with my dog, or swimming, is the baseline for both my wellbeing and my happiness. Autistic people exist on a spectrum of extremes, but for every painful, difficult extreme, there is something that we enjoy so much more than someone else can.

February is Random Acts of Kindness Month

For the month of February, we are celebrating random acts of kindness (RAK) at Cooper. Scientific evidence shows us the positive effects of doing kind acts for others as well as receiving or even witnessing kindness.

Wondering how to participate? It’s easy! Check out RAK Calendars for inspiration:

In service of this initiative, the C.A.R.E. Team is acknowledging Cooper Team Members engaging in acts of kindness with a kindness coin!

If interested in participating, reach out to the C.A.R.E. Team to request a small bag of kindness coins.

We ask that everyone please be mindful of hand hygiene and use hand sanitizer before sharing!

Freudenfreude.

There is a new term making it’s way around the social science circles: freudenfreude. Freudenfreude is a term inspired by the German word for “joy” and it describes the bliss we feel when someone else succeeds, even if it doesn’t directly involve us. In a recent New York Times article professor Catherine Chambliss says freudenfreude is like social glue in that it makes relationships more intimate and enjoyable.

The same article cites Erika Weisz, an empathy researcher and postdoctoral fellow in psychology at Harvard University, who shared that this feeling closely resembles positive empathy — the ability to experience someone else’s positive emotions. A small 2021 study examined positive empathy’s role in daily life and found that it propelled kind acts, like helping others. Sharing in someone else’s joy can also foster resilience, improve life satisfaction and help people cooperate during a conflict.

So, that challenge for you today, where can you experience a little Freudenfreude? Need help? Check out Dr. Chambliss’ Freudenfreude Enhancement Training!

More Than a Feeling

Saleem Reshamwala hosts “More Than a Feeling”, a podcast on emotions from the meditation and mindfulness platform Ten Percent Happier. Recently she published a piece on NPR sharing five practices for managing that nagging feeling of impending doom. She encourages us to recognize that the list of things we dread is almost endless, from the Sunday scaries and climate change to deadlines, the holidays, simple errands, and more. So what do we do about this? You can read the full article at https://www.npr.org/2022/11/22/1138759124/transform-the-way-you-deal-with-dread but a quick summary is offered below:

Rewrite your dread – We often struggle to talk about dread because it can feel so heavy. Poet and clinical psychologist Hala Alyan has a suggestion: Write down the things you’re concerned about. She shares a journal prompt to help you emotionally distance from your dread.

Draw your dread – What happens when we express our dread without words? Art therapist Naomi Cohen-Thompson and meditation teacher and writer Jeff Warren explain why reframing our attitudes toward dread nonverbally can help us accept what scares us.

Find the joy in dreading – Fear of death may be the ultimate type of dread we face, but clinical psychologist Rachel Menzies and death doula Alua Arthur say that facing death can be a joyful exercise. They make a compelling case for why remembering we will die – instead of trying to forget – can help us accept the inevitable.

Schedule your dread – This is how my dread works: I dread something. I try to avoid thinking about it. I fail. Before I know it, I’ve spent an entire day stuck in an endless loop of worry. Mattu shares some tips around this conundrum, including the benefits of carving out “worry time” to keep dread from becoming too overwhelming.

Notice your surroundings – After speaking with More Than a Feeling listeners, it became clear that one of the biggest issues they’re worried about right now is the state of our planet. I spoke with therapist Patty Adams, who helped me understand how connecting to the environment can help us build emotional resilience — so that even if we feel paralyzed by “eco-dread,” as it’s called, we don’t stay there for too long.

Aging Joyfully

What if instead of seeing aging as something to defeat and conquer, we were to embrace what gets better with age, and work to amplify these joys while mitigating the losses of youth? Ingrid Fetell Lee, designer and the founder of the blog The Aesthetics of Joy, recently asked herself this question. Ms. Lee outlined her thoughts on this in her article “Aging is inevitable, so why not do it joyfully? Here’s how” which can be read at TED.com. Briefly, though, she outlines the following 8 areas of emphasis. Those interested should read the full article at TED.com.

  1. Seek out awe – In a study of older adults, researchers found that taking an “awe walk,” a walk specifically focused on attending to vast or inspiring things in the environment, increased joy and prosocial emotions (feelings like generosity and kindness) more than simply taking a stroll in nature. Interestingly, they also found that “smile intensity,” a measure of how much the participants smiled, increased over the eight-week duration of the study. These walks were only 15 minutes long, once a week, and are low impact, so this is an easy way to create more joy in daily life as we age.
  2. Get a culture fix – A 1996 study of more than 12,000 people Sweden found that attending cultural events correlated with increased survival, while people who rarely attended cultural events had a higher risk of mortality. Since then, a raft of studies (a good summary of them here) has affirmed that people who participate in social activities such as attending church, going to the movies, playing cards or bingo, or going to restaurants or sporting events is linked with decreased mortality among older adults. One reason may be that these activities increase social connection, deepen relationships, and reinforce feelings of belonging, which are positively associated with well-being. Cultural activities also help keep the mind sharp. While the pandemic has made this one challenging, as things start to open up again, getting a culture fix can be an easy way to age joyfully.
  3. Stimulate your senses – The acuity of our senses declines with age. The lenses of our eyes thicken and tinge more yellow, allowing less light into the eye. Our sense of smell, taste and hearing also become less sharp. So, while you don’t have to recreate setup camp in your local Yankee Candle Shop, enriching your environment with color, art, plants and other sensorially stimulating elements may be a worthwhile investment not just for protecting your mind as you age, but also your joy.
  4. Buy yourself flowers – As if you needed an excuse for this one, but just in case, here you go. A study of older adults found that memory and mood improved when people were given a gift of flowers, which wasn’t the case when they were given another kind of gift. Why would flowers have this effect? One reason may link to research on the attention restoration effect, which shows that the passive stimulation we find in looking at greenery helps to restore our ability to concentrate. Perhaps improved attention also results in improved memory. Another possibility, which is pure speculation at this point, relates to the evolutionary rationale for our interest in flowers. Because flowers eventually become fruit, it would have made sense for our ancestors to take an interest in them and remember their location. Monitoring the locations of flowers would allow them to save time and energy when it came to finding fruiting plants later, and potentially reach the fruit before other hungry animals.
  5. Try a time warp – There’s something joyful about a mini time warp. Maybe it’s revisiting a vacation spot you once loved, and steeping yourself in memories from an earlier time. Maybe it’s a getaway with friends where you banish all talk of present-day concerns. Maybe it’s finding a book or a stack of old magazines from back then and reading them while listening to throwback tunes.
  6. Maximize mobility – Exercise is often touted as a way to stay healthy and vibrant at any age, but one finding that makes it particularly relevant as we get older is that movement has been shown in studies to increase the size of the hippocampus, a part of the brain that plays a vital role in learning and memory. This is important because the hippocampus shrinks as we age, which can lead to memory deficits and increased risk of dementia. In one study of older adults, exercise increased hippocampus size by 2 percent, which is equivalent to reversing one to two years of age-related decline.
  7. Refeather your nest – Once you start looking at negative tropes around aging, you start seeing more and more of them. Take the phrase “empty nest,” which carries strong connotations of loss and deprivation. One Lee-Anne Ragan offers up as a joyful process in the wake of children going off to start their own independent lives. She points out that the idea of an empty nest suggests that there’s nothing left, while refeathering takes a more ecological lens, imagining a kind of regeneration that happens as the home, and the family, transforms into something new. A refeathered nest is a place of possibility, creativity and delight.
  8. Stay up on tech – While technology is often blamed for feelings of isolation, some studies show that for older adults, being technologically facile can offer a boost to well-being. One reason is that internet use may serve a predictor of social connection more broadly, and social connection is one of the most important contributors toward mental health and well-being throughout life, but especially in old age. Other studies suggest that when older adults lack the skills to be able to use technology effectively, it leads to a greater sense of disconnection and disempowerment and that offering training to older adults on technology can promote cognitive function, interpersonal connection and a sense of control and independence.

Upcoming Carebridge Sessions

Carebridge Corporation, Cooper’s employee assistance program, is offering several free, online support sessions and live webinars in October.

Virtual Support Groups:

    • Learning How to Open Up to People
    • Getting the Legal Stuff Done Now
    • Responding to Your Child’s Report Card Constructively
    • Myths about Grief and Grieving

Live Webinars:

    • Strategies to Improve Your Mental Health
    • I am Enough – learn to quiet your inner critic and increase self-confidence

For additional information and to register for a session, click here.

Show Your Friends You Love Them!

In a recent NPR interview, psychologist and friendship expert Marisa Franco details going through a rough breakup in 2015 and her attempts to learn on her friends for support. They did yoga, cooked and read together. As she and her friends grew closer, she realized they were a deep well of love, community and healing. And she began to understand the importance of non-romantic, non-family relationships.

Franco’s professional work now focuses on helping others experience that same profound level of friendship. Her latest publication offers tips on how to improve the quality of our platonic relationships. Some of these tips are below, but you can read the full article at

https://www.npr.org/2022/09/01/1120550646/how-to-show-your-friends-you-love-them-according-to-a-friendship-expert:

  • Say it – Tell them how much they mean to you. Tell them when you think of them in passing. Remind them you are grateful to know them. These simple acts provide a layer of security in the relationship. It shows your friends that you genuinely care for them and lets them know it’s safe to invest in your friendship.

  • Show them – “Think about what your skills and talents are and find a way to turn that into a generous act,” she says. For example, when she found out that her friends wanted to learn more about how to set up investment accounts, she used her research and analysis skills as a psychologist to put together a presentation on the topic for them. You can share acts of generosity like this with your friends, too. If you’re great with kids, you might offer to babysit for your friends who are parents. If you’re a gym rat, you could help your friend train for a race they have coming up. Or if you got a raise at work, treat your friends to a fancy dinner to celebrate.

  • Be Honest – We feel a deeper connection to our friends when our vulnerability is met with validation and support, says Franco. It means they accept us for who we really are, the good and the bad. So don’t be afraid to share your struggles with your friends, whether it’s an ex you’re having trouble getting over or a new job you’re having second thoughts about. They’re not going to judge you — and it may bring you closer. If you’re looking for a way to let your guard down without divulging your darkest secrets, Franco suggests sharing something positive, like a personal achievement — maybe you just finished sewing your first quilt, or you broke your own time record on a run.

  • Fight – But being able to deal with conflict with friends in a healthy, constructive way can strengthen your friendships, she says. It might be painful at first, but it shows you want to be authentic with them — and that you want to make your relationship better. Start by telling your friend how much you value them, says Franco. It signals that the reason you’re bringing up the issue is because you’re invested in the friendship. Use “I” statements when explaining your concerns so your friend doesn’t feel like you’re blaming them. For example, if you’ve noticed they’ve been canceling plans at the last minute since they started a new job, you might say: “I feel hurt when you bail on our plans without giving me any notice.” Ask your friend for a different behavior you want to see in the future. For example, “It would be great if you gave me a heads up a few hours in advance if you know you’re not going to be able to make it.”

Trauma: Reaction & Recovery

    • It is normal to have strong reactions following a distressing or frightening event. Such stress reactions are normal and not weakness. Most people recover in time.
    • People can experience a range of physical, mental, emotional and behavioral reactions.
    • There are many things you can do to cope with and recover from trauma.
    • Seek professional help if you don’t begin to return to normal after three or four weeks.

Reactions to Trauma

All kinds of trauma create stress reactions. People often say that their first feeling is relief to be alive after a traumatic event. This may be followed by stress, fear and anger. Trauma may also lead people to find they are unable to stop thinking about what happened. Traumatic events can create a high level of arousal—or feeling alert or “on guard”—as well, which causes people to react strongly to sounds and sights around them.

The way a person reacts to trauma depends on the type and severity of the traumatic event, whether the person has any previous relevant experience or training, if they are active or helpless, the amount of available support following the incident, other current stressors in the person’s life, their personality, natural levels of resilience, and any previous traumatic experiences.

Common reactions can include:

    • Losing hope for the future
    • Feeling distant (detached) or losing a sense of concern about others
    • Being unable to concentrate or make decisions
    • Feeling jumpy and getting startled easily at sudden noises
    • Feeling on guard and alert all the time
    • Having dreams and memories that upset you
    • Having problems at work or school
    • Avoiding people, places and things related to the event

You may also experience more physical reactions such as:

    • Stomach upset and trouble eating
    • Trouble sleeping and feeling very tired
    • Pounding heart, rapid breathing, feeling shaky
    • Sweating
    • Severe headache if thinking of the event
    • Not keeping up with exercise, diet, safe sex or regular health care
    • Smoking more, using alcohol or drugs more, or eating too much
    • Having your ongoing medical problems get worse

You may have more emotional troubles such as:

    • Feeling nervous, helpless, fearful, sad
    • Feeling shocked, numb, or not able to feel love or joy
    • Being irritable or having angry outbursts
    • Getting easily upset or agitated
    • Blaming yourself or having negative views of oneself or the world
    • Being unable to trust others, getting into fights, or being trying to control everything
    • Being withdrawn, feeling rejected, or abandoned
    • Feeling detached, not wanting intimacy

Making sense of the traumatic event

Once the distressing event is over, you may find yourself trying to make sense of the event. This can include thinking about how and why it happened, how and why you were involved, why you feel the way you do, whether feelings you are having indicate what kind of person you are, whether the experience has changed your view on life, and how.

Helping resolve traumatic reactions to trauma

There are a number of strategies that can help a person resolve traumatic reactions.

    • Recognize that you have been through a distressing or frightening experience and that you will have a reaction to it.
    • Accept that you will likely not feel your normal self for a period of time
    • Remind yourself daily that you are managing – try not to get angry or frustrated with yourself if you are not able to do things as well or efficiently as normal.
    • Don’t overuse alcohol or drugs to help you cope.
    • Avoid making major decisions or big life changes until you feel better.
    • Gradually confront what has happened – don’t try to block it out.
    • Express your feelings as they arise – talk to someone about your feelings or write them down.
    • Try to keep to your normal routine and stay busy.
    • When you feel exhausted, make sure you set aside time to rest.
    • Help your family and friends to help you by telling them what you need, such as time out or someone to talk to.
    • Relax – use relaxation techniques such as yoga, breathing or meditation, or do things you enjoy, such as listening to music or gardening.

Healing and recovery process after trauma

Any event that places a person’s own life or the lives of others at risk results in the human body going into a state of heightened arousal. This is like an ‘emergency mode’ that involves a series of internal alarms being turned on. Emergency mode gives people a lot of energy in a short period of time to maximize the chance of survival.

Most people only stay in emergency mode for a short period of time or until the immediate threat has passed, but sometimes people keep going into it afterwards when unexpected things happen. Being in emergency mode uses up vital energy supplies and this is why people often feel tired afterwards.

The normal healing and recovery process involves the body coming down out of heightened arousal. The internal alarms can turn off, the high levels of energy subside, and the body can re-set itself to a normal state of balance and equilibrium. Typically, this should occur within approximately one month of the event.

Seeking help from a health professional after a traumatic event

Traumatic stress can cause very strong reactions in some people and may become chronic (ongoing). You should seek professional help if you:

    • are feeling very distressed after the event
    • are unable to handle the intense feelings or physical sensations
    • don’t have normal feelings, but continue to feel numb and empty
    • feel that you are not beginning to return to normal after three or four weeks
    • continue to have physical stress symptoms
    • continue to have disturbed sleep or nightmares
    • deliberately try to avoid anything that reminds you of the traumatic experience
    • have no one you can share your feelings with
    • find that relationships with family and friends are suffering
    • are becoming accident-prone and using more alcohol or drugs
    • cannot return to work or manage responsibilities
    • keep reliving the traumatic experience
    • feel very much on edge and can be easily startled.

Summing It All Up

Right after a trauma, almost every survivor will find it hard to stop thinking about what happened. Stress reactions—such as fear, anxiety, jumpiness, upsetting memories, and efforts to avoid reminders—will gradually decrease over time for most people.

Use your personal support systems, family and friends, when you are ready to talk. Or, be a support for someone you care about who has been through a trauma. Recovery is an ongoing gradual process that takes time. Don’t look for a quick “cure” or assume that you will forget what happened. Most people will recover from trauma on their own. If your emotional reactions are getting in the way of your relationships, work or other important activities, you may want to talk to a counselor or your doctor. Good treatments are available.

To learn more, check out the resources below:

For resources available for CUH team members,
check out our Well-Being Services page.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Canadian writer David Sax has written for the New York Times about virtual kindergarten, Zoom Thanksgiving, and other failures of digital technology. Most recently, he penned an article discussing why strangers are good for us. He contrasts the not-too-distance past in which it was impossible to go through life without speaking, in some way, to a variety of strangers in your life to present day wherein one can spend a week in place as crowded as New York, shopping, traveling, eating and working, and never utter a sound to another human being, or even take your headphones off. He argues that strangers are actually one of the richest and most important resources we have because they connect us to the community, teach us empathy, build civility and are full of surprise and potentially wonder. In particular he cites a study published last fall that showed that despite our fears of awkwardness, deep, meaningful conversations with strangers are not only easier than expected but also left participants feeling better about themselves. Mr. Sax highlights his points by observing that connection still possible as evidenced by his son’s propensity for going to the playground, being near other children, and walking away a short time later calling them friend, without ever knowing their name.

Read Mr. Sax’s full piece, Why Strangers Are Good for Us, at https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/12/opinion/strangers-talking-benefits.html?referringSource=articleShare

Read the study he cites, Overly Shallow?: Miscalibrated Expectations Create a Barrier to Deeper Conversation, at https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/psp-pspa0000281.pdf

Or just head to the caf, sit down next to someone you don’t know, and make a new friend!